Huggies Forum

  1. home
  2. Baby Forum
  3. Communities
  4. Personal Messages
  5. Son was taken from me by his father at age 4, anyone else suffering from absent child? (long post)

Son was taken from me by his father at age 4, anyone else suffering from absent child? (long post) Lock Rss

Hi there >^..^<

I do not know where else to ask for advice or support for this situation, I have tried numerous searches on the net with no joy.
To keep this story short, in Feb 2000 I separated from my husband and he said he needed to get away to get over our marriage breakdown, . My eldest son 11 (from previous relationship) was to stay with me while our 4 year old son lived with his him. My ex asked my permission to go to Qld to stay with his aunt for 4-6 months then he would return (we live in Albany WA). I considered my decision very carefully and trusted him to do the right thing, BIG MISTAKE! First he went to Perth for a couple of weeks then off to Qld. At first he used to call to let me know of their progress across the Nullabor and up to Qld, after a couple of weeks his mobile was disconnected but he still called to say what they were doing. Then all of a sudden he rang me and said "guess what? We're in Tassie and we're not coming back!" All the time I thought they were travelling and in Qld he was settling in Tasmania and had set up a new life. When I got legal advice I was told there was nothing I could do as he had been gone too long and it would be unfair to take the child from his new life! I was devastated, it turns out that I can do nothing but wait until our son is old enough to decide where he wants to live, he is now 9 and very confused about where he wants to be. He comes over every 6 months to visit and we talk regularly on the phone. We are all suffering so much from this and I find it extremely hard to cope at times. There is a lot more to this but the posting is already huge.

Any comments or advice welcomed
Thanks for listening,
From kaleidoscopkitty >^..^<
hi sorry to hear the bad news there is nothing worst than that
i think it might be to late now but you can go to the federal police and put in a recovery order to get him back also have you gone to court to get custody of you son? if not you can apply for a residenty order for you son as i have found out myself as i left my expartner for his drinking and verbal abuse and i have a 2year old daughter but i am very worried about him as he is lebenise but he is christan but they are a bit funny so i am scared they will try and take her overseas so i've done some homework about custody etc.
i don't know what state your in so here is some numbers that mine be of so help.
there nsw numbers but if you don't live in nsw they should be able to put you onto the right people

FAMILY LAW HOTLINE: 1800 050 321

also if you are with centerlink they have a free councilling and i have been to them and they have help me out a great deal they will be able to give you more contact number and help you out so don't be scared to go there and ask to see a councillor they are the ones who gave me theses numbers ok

also get 2nd, 3rd 4th oppions on what your rights are as ive found out that the 1st one isn't always right so get as many as you want till it sounds right and go with you gut feeling because its the most importate one ok.!!!

this is a bit extreme but you could always hire someone to get your son back and change your name and move diffent states etc but you would have to find out the risks and legal matters about it

i hope this has helped you out a bit
please let me know how you go!! GOOD LUCK


I really feel for mums in this situation.

Unfortunately, I also think it might be too late to arrange a residence order.

I think you will have to wait until your son turns 12, which is the age that your child is able to make a decision as to where he can live, and this decision could be drafted as a residence order in the future. So when your son turns 12, and if... and it's a big "IF" ... decides to live with you, you should seek legal advice to get this formalised as a residence order.

I am a single mum with a little girl, her dad family background is Middle Eastern, and when I seperated, I was afraid that her dad would take her to Iran and I would never see her again, as he had made threats to me in the past, that if I left him, i would be leaving without our child.

Thru the Family Law courts, I had pushed to have her name placed on the "airport watch list" thr the Federal Police and to have a clause in the orders made to indicate that neither parent is allowed to apply for a passport for our child. I regularly send photos to the Federal Police, so they have a current photo of our child.

It's heartbreaking when one parent (doesn't matter which parent) goes to great length to deny any reasonable access to their child to the other parent.

My heart would break and I would have no reason to live, if my girl was taken from me.

Good luck,

Hi Hun,

I read your post over and over again and each time it made me cry. My daughter is sitting next to me now and looking at her (and trying not to think of the nice big poop she has just done!) I dont know what i would do if anyone had ever took her away from me. She is my reason to live, if it weren't for her i probably wouldn't be here now.

Im afraid i cant offer you much advice in your situation, but i'm here if you would like someone to talk to. You can email me at if you like.

I did think of one thing though. What if your were to pay your ex for the return of your little boy? You know how some people are with money these days. If you were to offer a substantial amount he may consider taking the money to help with his "new life".
You may need to do some homework with financial companies, as i know not many people can pull a wad of bills from their back pocket. If you were to explain your situation to some banks etc they may consider you for a loan of some type
Well just an idea, do think about it seriously if you wish to go ahead with it. Do try other things before you consider doing this though

Take Care smile


Princess Tahlia - 14.6.2004

Sign in to follow this topic