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Something that really annoys me! Lock Rss

I don't mean to sound rude as these people are only trying to help BUT it REALLY annoys me when people that don't yet have children try to give you advice on yours. Even if they have had a lot to do with babies things are extremely different when you have your own. I have girlfriends who say to me things like, don't stress over something so small, or who cares if they skip their day sleep, they can eat this or that, Don't do that they'll get in a bad habit etc and they don't have kids! AAAGGGGGHHHHHHH It annoys the hell out of me!
[Edited on 29/06/2007]
Hi, I agree I rang the Parent help line once and got this lovely 65 year old woman ( she was really sweet) and i needed some advice because DS would not sleep, Anyway she told me what to do, Then i asked did you do that with your children???? Her reply was oh i never had children did really want them.....and she is giving me advice???


I know what you mean!! My SIL works in daycare (has no kids) so she thinks that she is the expert. (I have nothing againse day care workers, I used to be one myself). Looking after different children during the day is fine, but actually raising them and having them to yourself all day and night, every day is completely different!! My SIL looks down on everything that I do with my kids. Boy is she going to get a shock when she has some of her own!

I know what you mean totally! I get it with my sister. She's older then me, has worked in childcare before for a year or something and has studied early childhood at uni, she dropped out though. And she seems to think that this means she knows more then me! She is always giving me 'advice' telling me what he can and can't eat, even giving him things when she thinks I'm not looking! I even walked in on her once giving DS chocolate and saying to him "Quick before Mummy comes!" he was 10mths or something at the time!
And also I met this women once and she did after school care at a childcare centre and she was at my sisters house and I had known her probably for about 10mins before she started giving me 'advice'! It annoys the hell out of me too!

LOL, I was only talking to my DH last night about this exact topic.
My DD is currently in the habit of pulling her socks off her feet, she isn't walking yet so she doesn't wear any shoes when we're out. In the past week, I've had about 10 women say to me "Oh dear, you really should put some socks on your little one, her feet must be freezing". If they had a closer look, they'd see DD's her hands!

Everyone's an expert!
LOL Thats a classic statement boogsa, "Everyone's an expert"
Thats exactly how i feel right now!
What would we know, we are only their mother!
Stacey, the best advice I can give you is to smile and nod at people giving you advice. So smile and nod at me right now!! LOL. Seriously, it can be so frustrating when people try to tell you how to raise your own kids, but try to remember that MOST of the time, they think they're helping you and even if you don't think they're helping, their intentions are probably good - MOST of the time!
I hear you loud and clear, its like when someone asks you out to dinner with bubba and you know it wont work out cause bub gets tired etc and has been out and about all day and they say "Dont worry, they'll be fine" grrrrrrrrr

I have a 2 year old now!!

Yep know what you mean.
Ive been a nanny and worked in childcare. But nothing compares tohaving your own child.
You can give the ones you babysit back at the end of the day.
When you have your own its basically 24/7.

Aaaagh DH's sister is exactly the same and I can't stand it, she told me that I am risking making my son gay because I let him play with dolls WTF???
And the other day she was telling about DH's cousin who has a very difficult baby, he had a lot of intolerances and was a very pbad sleeper, and she was being awful and saying that they're doing a terribel job of raising their bub cos they have been letting him sleep in their bed so they can all get a bit of sleep & she keeps trying to tell them how to get him out of his bad habits. In the end I told her that until she has had a baby screaming all night in pain when she is sleep deprived she has no right to comment on other peoples kids.
I was probably a bit rude but nothing annoys me more, we also had a MCHN who had never had children so checked everything 'by the book', I had a late crawler and walker and she decided to tell me my son was slow because in the books it said he should be doing things earlier, and not to feed him through the night from 3mths because thats when the book said they should start sleeping through.
And I agree with Boogsa, if I have to hear another person lecture me on putting socks on DD's feet I'll scream, she always takes them off and if I use tights she goes hysterical!

Sorry about the long post but this is a topic that really get to me!
I think people who haven't had kids can often give good advice as they see things from a different view. Sure, we all know once you have them, reality kicks in and you realise how nieve and ignourant you were at times (pre kids), but I think its discriminating to discard any-ones views just because they haven't had a child yet.

DD is 3yr 8 months - DS is 6 months

I agree with everyone. people without kids can give good advice on SOME things. However I think unless you have your own child you can't really give advice on things that have to be experienced. A childless person has no idea what it is like to spend the entire night up with a baby screaming from teething, colic etc etc. Some things just have to be experienced before you can comment on it - in my opinion. smile]

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