Huggies Forum

SAHM or SAHD??? Lock Rss

HEY ALL,

My husband currently works full-time as a Manager at a large company and has done so for 10 yrs now. Lately he has become really lazy getting up in the morning to start work (usually up at 4am to start at 5am) I feel because he has done it for so long he has no passion to go to work. As a concerned wife and mother I worry that he will just not want to go to work at all.
So, Im wanting to go back to work full-time and support my husband and our 3 DD's.
Im afraid of how this will affect our family.
Are there any other mums who support the family and work full-time there DH/DP/DF stay at home with the children????

Advice Please...

Sarah, QLD- 3 ADorAbLe Daughters!!

i am in the same situation, my partner has been in the baking buisness for about 7 years and has given up his job about 2 weeks ago. now i am contemplating workin fulltime...
Are you concerned that your husband will not be able to handle everything at home??
Breakfasts, getting kids ready for school, feeds, washing, dinner?????
Im shitting myself........
Its harder at home then it is at work...

Sarah, QLD- 3 ADorAbLe Daughters!!

LOL... yeh i know exactly what you mean hehe, especially with DD#2 who is 6 months. DD#1 who is 22 months is in childcare 2 days a week but a friend has said that she will be on hand if i do go back to work and she can help out with him which would be good as she has a 1 yr old so the days DD#1 is home they can play. but i worry that he will dump the kids on her, so maybe i'l start off on a couple of days and see how he goes....
After 10 years in the same job he should be due for long service leave, shouldn't he?
If he is perhaps you can organise a trial period? Where you get part time work and he stay at home with the girls.
If it doesn't work out, he can resume his position or look for a new one and you can return being a SAHM?
Just an idea.

1 monkey, 1 diva = the love of my life

yeah, long service is due October. I just dont think he will last that long. I dont want him to leave and me not have a job to go into. Plus, he has to give 1month notice in his company. My DD's are 9 weeks, 18 months and 5yrs old.
My oldest goes to Prep but, I hate the childcare entres around here-they are all ABC's and have 18 yr old wankers running rooms-I wouldnt trust them with my little ones.......

Sarah, QLD- 3 ADorAbLe Daughters!!

would be better if he could stick it out til october and what would you do to support them all?

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

Hi Sarah
My husband currently works in the transport industry and when i go back to work in 2 weeks i will be going back full time and he will be working casually and being the SAHD. I am also a manager in a large international company and my salary is almost twice his wage, so it just isnt financially viable for me to stay at home. I know that it is going to be emotionally a struggle at first, but DH is going to bring DD into work at lunch time so that i can get my fix to last me to the arvo. Then when i am home, i will just make the most of our time together ~ as my DH does now.

With #1 i went back to f/t work when he was 8 months, as i wasnt coping being at home all the time & DH was working a long way from home, so we swapped and it was amazing the bond that bubs and DH now have. Sure, the washing wasnt always done, and the dishes were always piled on the sink, but hey, my baby was happy and healthy and most importantly my husband didnt feel like a part time dad. He felt like he was actually imputting something into how our child was being raised, rather than being told about what he has done today.

There are many things that our DH's and our kids can gain from being a SAHD. Its also funny how quickly they realise that we dont actually watch that much tv or drink that much coffee ~ unless its to stay awake ~ LOL....
Good luck
My Hubby is the one who maily stays home with the kids. I work 4 shifts a fortnight including night shifts. I have to say i enjoy going to work and it gives me a great break, also i think it is great for my hubby too. I have been back at work since DD was 14 weeks onld

If you do go down the SAND path you really need to have clear cut activities for your hubby, i would almost go so far as to set out specific taskts and go through a routine for your days. Adjusting to staying home is alot and takes a while, that is where im getting frustraited with my hubby at the moment becuase he isnt doing enough around the house i feel like im doing everything including bringing in the money
I work full time 40+ hours a week on shift work.
My DH stays home with the kids and I support him as I earn too much for either of us to get asistance from Centrelink.
He is really good. He knows what he has to do with the kids and around the house.
He makes sure they are at school on time and attending afterschool activities, weekend sport etc.
Usually all I really have to do is the dishes as he cant due to a car accident injury...then when I have my days off after night shift I do a huge big clean out ready for the next lot of shifts where I wont be home during the day.
I give him alot of credit actually as he was severly depressed after his car accident and not being able to work. He slipped into a really deep depression...so when I landed this job it kind of pulled him out of it cos he has to take me to work and pick me up, plus run the household and do the parental duties.
I think going back to full time work was the best thing for all of us...Especially DH!

Mummy to 3 little goblins

Has anyone though of doing party plan? I know it's not instant money, but I've been doing UnderCoverWear the last few months, and it's great as I can work around DH's shifts and family commitments, in the last month I've made about $850, it's not heaps but I'm only doing it about once a week, for about 3 hours.

There are lots of party plans, Tupperware, Mary Kay, UCW, Body Shop, Adult Parties, Handbags, etc so maybe research the one that's right for you. I did Nutrimetics for a while and would not recommend it, but each to their own.

There should be some info on each company's website.

If you want more details please PM me, I'd love to help.

Okay - can't really give you personal insights of my own, but there is one little boy in our playgroup that has a SAHD. The dad is a good guy and a good dad (from what we see at playgroup and on outings) and I have met the mother on a few occasions too - she is lovely too. The little boy and both parents really come across as very happy contented people and a very happy contented family.

If it is something you really want to do, then talk it out with your hubby and see what he thinks. Waiting until October when hubby's long service kicks in and having a trial period of it sounds like a good idea.

Another thing to consider - not knowing what you actually do for a living or anything, - will you be able to get a job that will afford your family a comfortable lifestyle? Just a query - as I know my hubby has sometimes said - he would love to be a SAHD and for me to go out to work, but we simply could not afford to live on what I would earn (if that makes sense - my hubby earns substantially more than I did pre-children).


[Edited on 04/06/2007]

James' Mum

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