Can I just say? NOOOOOOOOOO...

I'm not blooming PG!! smile I'm so sick of rude people asking me when I'm expecting the next one! My son is 11 months old (had a c-section and spent the last 3 months of my PG resting due to pre-eclampsia) and I still have a pod belly. I might still look 4-5 months PG but I am trying to loose the weight and I'm loosing it from the rest of my body sad. Now - if I had a fat bum, legs and arms....would these people ask me if I'm PG...I doubt very much.

Thanks for listening. Anyone got any smart come-backs for these people?

Love Sharryn

Hi Sharryn,

Isn't it funny how people feel that they have the right to offer unsolicited opinions. I am sure I am not the only one, but when I was pregant (mind you with twins) everyone told me how I wasn't very big "for twins", that I would have a C-section, the twins would be delivered early and that they would be small and need special care. Obviously all very reassuring topics when you already know the risks of a multiple pregancy. Well I actually went to 37 weeks, did have a C-section but delivered two very healthy 7lb and 6lb baby boys. Short of being rude, just tell people to mind their own business. People started to tell me I looked tired (even before they said Hello). I just started to reply politely "so do you - must be that time of the year" - it soon stopped the conversation. Another comeback, may be not specifically for the weight issue, but I thanked people for reminding me that I am an "idiot" because I had actually forgotten. Most people get the sarcasm - and those that don't make the statement even funnier.

What is it with peoples obsession with weight these days? Is it any wonder we have so many people suffering from eating disorders?. What makes me really angry is half these people, men included, should take a good hard look at themself. No wonder the stars go off to health farms or lock themself away for months on end until they loose their baby weight. I have no doubt Danielle Spencer, Russell Crowes wife, will be doing the same thing. I saw an interview with him bragging on the small amount of weight his wife had put on. I then saw pictures and another article showing how much fluid she was retaining only a month later. Perhaps he put the mocka on her!!! Sure there are people out there who walk out of the hospital wearing the clothes they wore before they were pregnant. Half there, all the power to them. But people have to remember they are the lucky ones. Mind you I have never seen a women who had a caesarean walking out in their pre pregnancy clothes. Loosing weight is very hard and you need positive support, bullying will only make matter worse. Do these people think we are blind? Like we dont know we have put on weight and we should be thankful they are pointing this matter out to us? As for come backs you could try the old " I can diet and I will loose weight but no matter what you will always be ugly" or perhaps try the sarcastic approach. Try "thank you for asking how I am feeling after my major surgery and for also noticing how good a mother I am". Then just walk away and let the brain surgeons figure it out for themself. You could try to concentrate on a negitive thing they have like "Gee I didnt know you had such bad skin" or " What happened to your hair, I hope you are not going back". Then there is my all time favourite " are you sick?" or " arent you sleeping, look at those bags you poor thing" even if they are feeling fine they will be thinking about how bad they must look for ages. I promise you the first thing they will do is go and look for a mirror!!!
Of course this all depends on how low you want to go and generally you dont want to go that low. You could try saying " Thank you for noticing I still have a stomach from the birth of my child. I had to have a caesarean which as you know is major surgery & I am still recovering. However you might like to know I have lost XYZ weight and have gone from a size blah to a size blah. Perhaps you could concentrate on that which is positive and not the negative you are seeing which makes me very sad. I am well aware I still have weight to loose I see the same person you see and would like your support" I used this once and the person was so gob smacked they had no idea what to say or do. But I bet they will think before they open their stupid mouth again. Even if you dont use any of these come backs I hope you at least got a smile from them. Try to not let it get to you I know it is hard just remember it takes months to get big & it takes months to loose it. Chin up and keep smiling.

my name is narelle i am 22. i dont have any smart comments for these people i had a c too and its been hard trying to get rid of the fat/loose skin. i still have a pod belly to.

Hi Sharryn,
I know what you mean. I'm not fat, but I do still have that flabby belly that comes after having a baby. I've had 3 kids, and with my last, I was REALLY big. (He was a big baby). I was a size 11 when I fell pregnant with my first, and after he was born became a size 14. Not fat in my books! My son was only 10 months old, when some stranger commented on how it was going to be a handful with a toddler and a new baby. I said " I beg your pardon?" and the stranger replied, "when are you due?" My answer to this was, "When I fall pregnant!!!" and I walked off. I did however turn around only to find the stranger bright red, and dumb founded. I hope this can be of some assistance to you also.
Tracey

Hi Narelle
It is hard to try and exercise after a c-section, isn't it? Where abouts in SA do you live? I live in the SE.

Tracey,
Thanks for your reply. Next time someone asks when I'm expecting #2, I'll say: about 9months after i conceive smile

Love that response. Will remember that when next I am asked!!!! Shedding "twin skin" is not easy.

Hi Victoria,
Let me know if it works for you too!
Tracey

Hey Sharryn,

i also had pr eclampsia when i had my fist child i was in the hospital for about a month i have high blood presure,low white blood cells,and protin so i know what you mean

Just say "I'm actually not pregnant, but I was just about to ask you the same thing!!" (Might not work if the person is really old, really skinny or male).

I once had an old lady tell me i was too young to be a mother


i simply replied with "You are too old to be judging"


alot of times i have said to mean old ladies that comment that im actually 29 and happliy married(oh what a lie)


but remarks that are hurtful or unwanted are just cruel

you should've send "Your no Angelia Jolie yourself hun"


xxx

Whoops! Sorry Shazza, never looked at the dates. I see that you must have fixed it up though, by falling pregnant again as I see you have a 14 month old now!