Huggies Forum

Mother In Law!!!!! Rss

Why is it that most people have problems with their Mother in laws!! I for one DEFINATLY do!!! Does it turn them into witches or something??
She always has her "opinions" about everything (opinions being the right way and the only way of doing things!!) And she always comes over without calling first and keeps her finger pushed up against the door bell til i run to the door and answer it and most of the time Izzys trying to sleep! And yes i have hidden a few times from her pretending i'm not home but she still yells out to my daughter saying "Tell your mum to let me in"!! (She's 5months old) She's never said my name, i'm either her sons wife or Isabella's mum!
I know this sounds really nasty but i don't want to try and work things out with her i just want her to leave us alone!!
I'm a B***h aren't i??? sad

Michelle,NSW, Isabella 26/10/04, Charli 12/3/07

hi michelle!

i don't necessarily think so! it sounds more like she's the one who is!
i can say from experience though, for the sake of the family (dh & dd), it is better to try to get along.
i actually have no problems with my MIL. we have a fantastic relationship & she treats me like her own. my mother, though, is a different story and dh & her have had quite a few run-ins. he has tried very hard to be civil & get along for our sakes, though, after periods of time where we didn't speak or have contact.
it sounds very much like your MIL can tell how you feel about her and really she should just back-off, but obviously she's not getting the hint! i feel for you and do hope things get better.

fluttah-bye!

3 boy bundles of joy under 6, qld

Hello Michelle

I am like fluttah-bye my mother in law and i have a fantastic relationship and I am closer to her then my own mother (this is sad I know but if you met my mother you would completely understand)

you poor thing your mother in law does sound not very nice at all!

maybe you should get one of those signs baby sleeping and stick it by your door bell and if she comes over and still makes a noise say oh I thought I left the baby sleeping sign out!

good luck and I hope things get better for you with your mother in law


bye

melly

melissa, vic, Patrick 2.5 & Laura 15 months

ha I know what you mean Mich@Izzy, you are definately not a b****h!! It is good to have a gasbag about it.

I have the same probs and from my experience my MIL searches for weaknesses and then goes full throttle.

I worked out to not let her see her get to me, and I am having a great time now for she is running out of things to do/say to me.

Also when I stopped fighting it and simply not answering my partner finally saw who the trouble maker was.

I know it is easy to say but try and not and let it get to you, (it took me years to do myself) once it is your mil that is the only one playing games it can be very boring indeed for her. Well that is what happened to me.

I hope this helps, I do not want to judge in anyway, Just like to tell you what worked for me.

There is one thing my partner admitted, "She will never change" and it rang true, I had to be the adult and not let her upset me, It is sad I guess for I now do not like her or respect her, but it may come if she in time mellows a bit haha.

All the best,

my littlepossum 12.09.03, #2 edd 09.02.06

Mother in laws are no fun. I know what you mean. My MIL always comes around with out ringing first and picks her times when im included in family activites. Either im part of the family or im not? I dont feel she should be picking when i can be included and when i cant

Tracy,Wgton,Have 2yr boy

Hi ladies,

Well, I don't know that I can speak authoratively on this subject because I am lucky enough to have a great relationship with my MIL.

That being said Mitch&Izzy I have to say that my reaction would be (as it is to anyone family or otherwise) to tell her exactly what you think. She (and indeed anyone else) needs to respect your home whether she likes it or not.

I think I am the B**CH coz I would just tell her. "Listen lady, my child is asleep and I don't appreciate the disruption - in future call before coming around; don't sit on the door bell until I answer the door and extend to me the courtesy that I deserve, partiularly in my own home or don't bother calling on us at all".

There is nothing wrong with expressing yourself. There should be no shame in feeling the way that you do. It is your home and it will be run in the way that you and your partner see fit. I also think that some back up from your partner would be beneficial.

Don't let her (or anyone else) make you feel bad about how you want to do things. Don't make apologies for doing things your way. I am sure that she would have no problem setting you straight while you are in her home (or anywhere else by the sounds of it) so don't be afraid to defend yourself if your own home with particular regards to your own child.

I know it can be easier said than done and I appreciate that there may be other factors that make it difficult to put your foot down but this is just what I would do based on the info that you have left.

Good luck with it. Make sure you let us know how you go ;o)
Whoohoo Hubabubba!

Yeah I agree it is easier said than done, but when I started to just do what I thought was right for me and littlepossum, and not worried what mil thought or said I feel so much better, and she can no longer hurt or infuriate me anymore. Now I just feel sorry for her!

Most things I just ignore but when I do pick my battles baby waking being one for me too, I held firm but did not lose control, I see it as me being the adult and her the child.

Will be good to see how are goning mitch&izzy. You only live once, don't let mil get you down! don't feel guilty, turn the tables on her!!

my littlepossum 12.09.03, #2 edd 09.02.06

Hi Mich&Izzy

I totally agree with you about MIL's turning into witches. Before and during my pregnancy I got on really well with my MIL and now that baby has been born and she is 3 months old, she has turned into a right cow! She buys unpratical clothes for baby and will get disappointed when we say we won't be putting her in them. Won't come and see her only grandchild because she has lent her car to her other son (she lives near him too) and won't go and get it to come and see us. She also rings every day to see how we are doing, I have got to the stage where I am getting rather annoyed at what she does and don't answer the phone. The other thing I think is strange is that baby is now in next size nappies and she had gone and got 24 nappies (the old size) and we told her we would take them off her hands, and she has said well we can swap them for the new size. I got the ones my mum had and she doesn't expect me to swap them for the new size. I think it's very strange. I have decided that I won't give MIL any unless she is looking after baby for the day / weekend. There are actually too many things that MIL does that annoy me and I want to tell her to back off and leave us alone for a while and not ring all the time for innane converstaions but I know that would upset my partner - he is very sensitive to his family. I just can't believe how "family orientated" they say they are yet they can't even come and visit us! I think I have said enough now.

Renee, Mother to Lauren - 19/01/2005

Well I have to say I'm glad i don't live in the same town as my MIL any more as she is a very hard person to get along with! She is a VERY heavy drinker and smoker and shealways puts her 2 bob in even when her opinion is not wanted or even asked for! She is soooooo forceful in her ways that you somehow just end up doing what she thinks is best when she's around! Also not to mention she is soooo stingy with money but she always has money for alcohol and smokes! My hubby and I have been together for 9 years, lived in the same town with her for 2 years(thats all we could bear!) and lived in the current town for 6 years and she has visited us twice. TWICE!!!! And once was because we paid for her accomodation because itwas for our wedding!!! They only live 4 hours drive away!!! We drive to see them atleast 4-5 times a year!!! and they are alot richer than us!! She also NEVER even rings us to say hi, she is too scabby to make std calls! Luckey enough to hear from her on birthdays! I could go onnnnnnnnnnnn
for eva about her and never run out of things to complain about ! Oh well I feel better i had my
B@#*#!

Mel,QLD, 3yr old Nikita, no. 2 due october

HELP ME LIVING NEXTDOOR TO MY MOTHER IN LAW.
I have been living next to her for 10 years now and to start with i took her crap but as time want on i relised that enough is enough and put my foot down and set her straigt because no matter what u do or say they will always be there so make shore u have the upper hand in the relation ship. my husband says that his mother has him by the hands but i have him by the balls lol

m.i.l.f.

Oh Image, you made me laugh!!!!

I have a great relationship with my mil, although she does do things that drive me nuts!!!! Just remember, the balls can't take anywhere near as much squeezing as the hands!

Dette, DS 06.03, DS 10.04, DD 03.06 & Due Sept 07!

Its quite funny to read these posts because everyone complains that the MIL is around to often - but my problem is that my MIL is never around! She comes into town to see her daughter and her granddaughter but NEVER and I mean NEVER comes to see my boys and I (we live about 3 streets over from her daughter). The only time the in-laws every see our boys is when we take them out to there house! MIL's can't live with em can't live without em!
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