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New mum who doesn't have mum of her own Lock Rss

Hi, I am a new mum to a 10 month old baby girl. I don't have a mum of my own and as a result I sometimes find it hard looking for advice. Most of my friends turn to their mum's for advice when they need it. Can anyone relate to this and would like to chat? I'd love to hear from you. Michelle
Hi Maddy,

Unfortunately i can't relate to you. But what i wanted to ask was do you have sisters or friends that are close to you that you can speak and share the experience with? I'm sure this is a sad moment for you because of course as a new mum lots of things are new & scare at times and you want someone to be there and tell you what a great job your doing, but let me be the first as a stranger to say your doing a fine job. I never knew what a HUGE responsiblity being a mum was all about and at times i have to pinch myself because i can't believe these a little girl in my life who depends on my for the world. But it's a great feeling, develop a close bond with her share your problems and talk to her. I know it sounds silly but sometimes when i'm alone and have no-one to talk to, i talk to my baby and pretend she understands me and in a strange way it brings me confromt. I wish you all the best and i hope you can find someone to relate with..take care


Hi Maddy,

I too can understand how you feel. I lost my mum at 18, 10years ago now. My wedding, and the births of both my children have been emotional times, mainly because i miss my mum so much. When things are tough i often feel so ripped off that my mum isn't here to help me, when i need her so badly! As Lora said, i hope you at least have a close friend or sister that you can share the experience with, even if they can only offer support!

This is also a great place to ask for advice off other mums who have often been in similar situations, about anything!!

In a positive light, i also see my mum looking down, and watching out for us!!

Thinking of you, and hope to hear more from you!

DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

Hi Michelle,
I know it isn't easy sometimes but you'll get there as I lost my mum before I had any children but I was lucky to have sisters and a brother that had kids so they were there if I needed help. Have trust in yourself and if your still not sure then ask for advise. I'm no expert but will help with some advice if you need any at all. I have twins that are 5, boy-girl and a 5 month old boy. Well I hope to hear from you need to chat.

Hang in there you'll do great. Di SA
Tepe, you made me at last feel like I am not alone. I also felt ripped off when my mum wasn't there for my wedding and the birth of my daughter, Madeleine. I know that my mum is watching over me and I hope she is proud of the person I turned out to be. The sad reality for me is that I don't have any other family. My husband's family is great, my mother-in-law is one of the sweetest women I have ever meet, but she's still not my mum. My best friend doesn't have children yet and she also lives in another state. I have a few local friends, but none that have children or that I am close too. My husband is very supportive and loving and kind, but there just a small hole where my mum should have been to shre the joy of her first grandaughter. I know I sound like a "sad case" that wasn't my intention. I was just wondered if I was alone in these feelings that I have? Thankyou for taking the time to reply. You helped make a sad heart a little happier... Michelle (Maddy is my daughter)
Hi again,

Nice to know i can make someones day a bit better! smile I'm lucky that i have a very close sister and father! My inlaws are also wonderful, but as you said, its still not my mum!

You are definately no "sad case", or if you are, I am too! We'll stick together! tongue

Hope to hear more from you!

DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m


Hello there! You just made me smile. Thanks very much. Its nice to know there are people out there as lovely as you are.

You said you hope to hear more from me....
What would you like to know?

I looked at my beautiful daughter today and realised that I am truly blessed. I may not have a mum, but my daughter is the light of my life. She makes it all worthwhile.

Looking forward to your reply...

Hi Michelle,

Have been away for a lovely break! Hubby took 2 weeks off to help me out so we took advantage of it!! tongue

What i have done for my children, is start a diary! I know it sounds morbid, but there are so many questions i want to ask about my sister and i as babies and dads hopeless with things like that! At least if anything happened to me, they will have that to look back on!! I hope i don't sound psyco or anything!

Yes, we are very lucky to have healthy children to touch our lives! I must remember to focus on the positives, not the negatives!

Hoping all is well,

DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

Hi Tepe,

Wondered where you had got to? Glad to hear back from you and I hope you had a nice break. I don't think that your diary idea is morbid at all! In fact I follow your train of thought... I am photograph mad. I try to make sure there are heaps of great photos to show every great moment in our lives and I also write letters to my baby girl. Obviously she can't read them yet, but if any thing did ever happen to me then the letters will tell her a bit about me and about our relationship as mother and daughter. I am very, very sentimental.. some may say too sentimental, but I have lost enough to know what is really important. I told my best friend of 15 years that she had better have a good memory if anything ever happened to me. I'd be counting on it. My best friend is also my daughters Godmother, so I know she will always be there. Not having a mum or dad or brothers or sisters can make for a very lonely existance. But I do have a fantastic husband who has made me complete and now I have the most precious gift of a daughter. What more could I ask for really? I just hope that I can be around to share my daughter's life and special moments. Like her graduation, her wedding day, the birth of her children (if she decides to have some). I really feel like a small child myself some days and I think to myself... "I just want my mum" Thanks for keeping in touch with me and for sharing you thoughts and ideas it means a lot to me. Chin up, we should smile and be greatful for what we have... All the best, Michelle.
P.S. Hope to hear from you again some time!
Hi Michelle,

On the photo talk, Mum put together our or should i say reorganised our family album just before she passed away ( no we didn't know what was about to happen ). So my sister and i are very lucky to have 4 huge family albums all discripted and in order, we take turns keeping them at our houses!! My mission too, has always been to provide that for me children! So far i'm going well!

Whats your plans for Chrissy, what are you getting your daughter??

DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

Hi Tepe,

Christmas??? Oh, no I can't think about that yet. First of all I have my daughter's FIRST BIRTHDAY on December 10. We are giving her a clam shell with 100 coloured plastic balls. Plus we have bought her a Lladro (hand made) figurine of a little girl and we plan to as a tradition buy her a different one each year for her birthday. Then when she is older we will buy her a display case to put them all in. We've also got her some bath toys and some books. For Christmas, all I have got planned so far is a Winnie-the-pooh clock with her name on it, which is her gift from santa. I was thinking of getting her one of those little fold out sofas and something else...? Do you have any suggestions? What do you give your children for Christmas?

... on another note for Christmas I am getting from my daughter a book on Scrapbooking. Then I can make some fabulous scrapbooks full of her childhood moments. It also gives me a great hobby as well. Your photo albums sound precious and you are lucky to have them...

Bye for now.
Hi Michelle,

Thats right, no wonder you can't concentrate on Chrissy yet! I won't forget that date either because its also my nieces 5th birthday and she is also my god daughter! I think we are going ice skating this year, that will be interesting with a 2.5 yo!!

What lovely ideas you have for your daughters presants! I love the figurine idea especially, how special that will be when she is older! Once again i have to throw my opinions in, but get the foldout sofa for sure! We had our daughters before she was born, and its still going srong now! Its also a great easy bed when my niece stays the night, but she is almost too big now!

I love the idea on scrapbooking but just know i don't have the time or patience anymore! At the moment my hobby is the internet, sad i know but we have only had it 6 months and i am still learning lots!

As for the kids pressies, we are having a cheapy Christmas here, me being on maternity leave for nearly 6mths has left our bank A/C dry!

More about Chrissy later, awake baby and hungry toddler, harassing me, sad

Bye now,
Tepe smile

DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

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