Huggies Forum

  1. home
  2. Baby Forum
  3. General Baby Topics
  4. General Discussion
  5. Over Sensitive 5 year old = Emotionally drained mum

Over Sensitive 5 year old = Emotionally drained mum Lock Rss

Hi All,
My youngest turned 5 in May this year. She also started school this year. Although young, she was more than ready education wise. But its turning out emotionally maybe not.
After the first 4 weeks of starting school, she did really well and got over the seperation anxitey she has had with me since she was a baby.
Then in mid term 2 they had a sudden teacher change, this has now thrown her out of whack to the point she is developing panic attacks. We have had over 2 months or more of tears everymorning apart from the odd one or two.
When i say tears, I mean histerics and truly upset. Not just playing me. She is much worse on the days she knows i am going to work.
Now i am out of ideas of how to try and fix this. I have tried EVERYTHING, from cuddles to tough love and even a few times getting cranky.
She will cry a bit throughout the day in school as well but doesnt often have a reason.
The only good thing is that she is still learning and not affecting that. But it is emotionally draining on myself and i can imagine her too,
Anyone have any suggestion or any child the same?
I think in these situations, discussions & honesty are the best. I wouldn't get angry at her as it can escalate the already intense emotions.

Keep having talks about how she has a good day at school once your gone. Talk about the things that makes her happy and remind her that you always pick her up. Ask her what worries her and give her a reassuring answer to her worries.

Set up a morning routine. Before school at home and saying goodbye at school. Give her a special gem stone to keep in her pocket and explain that she can tell the stone what she's scared of and it will take it away.

Just keep up with the chats and positivity about school. She will get better. Just remain consistant with your support!
Patience. I know it can be frustrating at times but understanding is what your child needs at the moment. Take it easy. Never get tired of giving her the usual talks. You can also consult their school guidance counselor to ensure that the school and you work hand in hand in coming up with the most appropriate solution. smile Best of luck!
I'd be discussing this with her teacher to put a plan in place.

Also... What time does she go to bed? The first year of school is exhausting for kids, they're just not used to the hours of energy required. Definately needs to be in bed at a decent time.

My daughter turned 5 in Jan and, like yours, was very ready to start school in terms of learning, but I am now realising how much better it might have been to delay her a year. She is at a disadvantage in terms of physical competitive things because the other preps are so much bigger, and if she had started later she'd just be that bit more confident. Age does still mean a lot when you're 5.
I changed her school after 1st term because she was in tears every evening after the long day - her school was too far away and it was an 8am-5pm day with travel. She slotted in very well at the new school which we chose because many of her kinder friends were there. Middle of this term, her teacher went on long service leave and all of a sudden the tears were on. Not in the mornings, but after school. It's been three weeks now and things seem to be back to normal. I've had a lot of comments from friends and family about how upsetting it is when things are changed around in the prep year, so I don't think it's uncommon. I hope she gets settled again soon!
We went through this with our DD. she was to the point where her anxiety was making her physically sick and having stomach cramps. The teachers told me it was just a phase she would out grow it. She would be crying and have worried feelings EVERY day through prep. The teachers would have to physically hold her hand when I left because she would run after me. It then continued into grade 1 and the teachers were still telling me she will outgrow it. When there was a relief teach trying to explain to them was just difficult. Many morning i would go out to the car and just cry. It really is was very stressful and draining.

The final tipping point for me was when she was throwing up on the oval at cross country because she had worried feelings about the race and then me leaving again. We went and saw a psychologist. We actually went through 3 different ones until she found one she 'clicked' with. We put in a lot of hard work to overcome her worried feeling and it has only been this year (she's in grade 3 now) that I can drop her at the gate and she can walk herself in. If it feels like her anxiety is too much for you to handle, I would definitely recommend seeing a child psychologist, I wish we had done it so much sooner. Apparently if you go to your GP and explain her issues, you should be able to get a referral for 10 sessions under a mental health plan covered by Medicare. I was so desperate I used my private health insurance and paid out of pocket the difference.

I know how really draining and hard it is. Hugs smile

mummy of two

I also agree with seeing a phycologsist. My DS has come so far in regards to his anxiety etc since seeing his. She is amazing and I am so thankful to have her support smile
Thanks All for the replies, Since writing this we are actually seeing a Phycologsist, we have our second session tomorrow. Already i have seen tiny improvement. She was the same as your DD JaidensMum, Worried sick feelings to the point of stomach cramps and making herself sick. So fingers crossed with these sessions it will ease her anxiety over time. The Phycologist warned me that its going to be a long process but will we will get there.
You poor thing this is always a difficult situation especially for us mums! It is great that you are seeing a psychologist, that plus ongoing communication and support from the school is highly important. A Paediatric occupational therapist may also have some ideas to work on and try.

May sound simple but some other ideas to try is a reward chart (start off with small achievable goal) social stories. Does your daughter mix well socially with the other children? Play dates would be helpful and you could even try meeting a favourite little friend at drop off time for your daughter to put her bag away with chat to etc. to take the emphasis off just you & your daughter & hopefully take her mind off the looming separation from you.

I have also known people to try a timer (just on your mobile or sand timer) and you stay for a set amount of time then leave. A special photo of you to put in her pocket/necklace etc so you are always there at school with her.

It does take time and lots of support and strength but things will improve, hang in there & best of luck.

I do hope that the psychologist is helping your daughter's anxiety and emotional development.

There is plenty of evidence and research to support exactly what your concerns are here - the emotional development and readiness for school. There are a lot of programs available in NSW for children who are ready to start school but not of school age - are there early starters programs in your area?

A child in my Kindergarten class was suffering the same problems, tears and anxiety. We ended up suggesting partial enrolment, the boy stayed at school until 11am each day, then attended another local school for their Early Starters program - which is a transition program offered by some schools for preschool children who are ready to start school but not at the right age yet. The boy in my class blossomed!! The poor little one was incredible academically, just not emotionally mature enough to be at school. His birthday was June, so next year he will start our Kindergarten again and be at the same level emotionally as the other children, if not better as he has overcome his anxiety of being a young one at school.
Some schools are no longer offering repetition based on school starting age, however if you needed assistance, your psychologist would only need to write a letter and it would happen.

I hope this helps. The young one in my room is such a character now. It was just all too much for him before. He will be ahead in most areas next year, however I can tailor a program for him so he will be engaged and have fun without going into the Yr1 curriculum.

Hi is your daughter over sensitive all the time or just when she goes to school? Also have you checked that your daughter isn't being bullied or picked on by teachers? My 3 yr old hated her kindy and would constantly cry I put her into a different school and I have never looked back.....she is just excelling and can't wait to go and the best part is that there are no more tears.
Hi All, Just thought i would update, We have started term 4 with no tears and this is our second week back at school. All the techniques and ideas that the psychologist has suggested works a treat.
They have also worked out that she has Obsessive complusive disorder, which is why she was extra sensitive.
But we are on top of this. smile
Sign in to follow this topic