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Friends with 'benefits' Lock Rss

F-buddies, meaningless sex...whatever you want to call it. Do you think it's truly possible to have without eventual emotional involvement/investment?

I personally have only ever had sex within a relationship context so I can't comment out of personal experience. But from observation of friends and family members who have partaken in such 'practices' wink, it would seem that sex without commitment seems to stem from or result in one of (or both) two things - desire for self-fulfilment/searching, or eventual emotional attachment to the other party/parties.

Would you agree? What are your thoughts? Is it truly possible to have sex (more than a drunken one-night-stand) with someone and not become psychologically and emotionally involved?
From personal experience.... I don't think it ever works. Theres always an emotional attatchment at some point or another (even if neither party wants to admit it).

I think the title "friends with benefits etc" just puts too much pressure on people & just makes things more complicated. Just my personal opinion though!!!

Not to mention that sex is better in a relationship!!! - Atleast mine is tongue
Back in the day before DH and kids I had alot of meaningless friends with benefits lol <img src='https://www.huggies.com.au/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' />

I was always able to carry these 'relationships' (or whatever you'd like to call them) on without any emotional attachment/feeling... I could sleep with the same guy for 6 months and not feel anything more for him than just an f buddy. I was living life, having fun and had completely shut the idea of emotion out hence why I did this quite often and if it ended after months, a year whatever I would be like 'ok whatever time to find someone else'. Why bring feelings into it when you both know where the relationship stands and what it means...

I never had a real emotional connection with anyone until I met DH grin
Basically, when you realise it's not a good idea you end up feeling like the shittest person ever!! Sex is without a doubt better in a relationship. Knowing that their not using you and actually care about you and respect you is better than anything. I've been there and done the whole meaningless thing, it's not even worth the bad feelings and bad thoughts you will have about yourself later on.

I have only ever been with DP but i did see the bad results of a friends situation. She was doing it with her ex who she had a daughter with. It ended once she fell pregnant and she ended up miscarrying. There was never a good relationship in the beginning and that to her was the final straw.
haha good topic!!

When going through a bad break up a few years ago I had a few one night stands... I set out to feel empowered but ended up just feeling like crap.

I would never judge someone who wanted to enter into a relationship that was just about casual sex but I doubt I could do it without some kind of emotional attachment.
well, i ended up marrying my "friend with benifits"
together now for nearly 12 years and married for almost 6, expecting our 3rd child in a few weeks. but it was the only friend like that i have ever had.

it started off as a "casual relationship" i guess what americans would call dating. it was agreed between us in the begining that is was nothing serious, no commitment, non-exclusive (although we made it a rule to tell each other if there were any other partners). we were friends initially and at the time there was no way in hell i would have ever considered marrying the guy. but after 2 years of this casual relationship we ended it as he had met someone else. no worries, we parted as friends, which lasted all of about 2 weeks. he then realised, as did i during those 2 weeks, that there was something between us, neither of us really wanted to acknowledge it, but we happened to go the the same party one night and got chatting again. i said i would never go back to what we had. it wasn't enough for me any more, it was all or nothing. i wanted the commitment and exclusiveness, and as it turned out so did he.

6 months later we were living together, 6 months after that we bought a house, 18 months later he took me to scotland to meet all his relos, and then to paris where he proposed and the rest they say is history!

but i do have to say, in those first 2 years, i never felt used, or cheap, or had the 10pm booty call, i was always treated with respect, we would go out to places, concerts, movies etc, i guess that may be why it turned out the way it did. wish i had of taken bets back then as all of our friends said he was a user, i was being taken advantage of, etc. and now, we are the only couple still together and blissfully happy.

Back in the day before DH and kids I had alot of meaningless friends with benefits lol <img src='https://www.huggies.com.au/forum/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dry.gif' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='<_<' />

I was always able to carry these 'relationships' (or whatever you'd like to call them) on without any emotional attachment/feeling... I could sleep with the same guy for 6 months and not feel anything more for him than just an f buddy. I was living life, having fun and had completely shut the idea of emotion out hence why I did this quite often and if it ended after months, a year whatever I would be like 'ok whatever time to find someone else'. Why bring feelings into it when you both know where the relationship stands and what it means...

I never had a real emotional connection with anyone until I met DH grin


Since you're the first person to state it's possible (haha), I'll pick on you, if that's ok!! grin smile

So what do you think it was that prevented you from becoming emotionally entangled in the sexual relationships?? 6 months is a long time! Although, you mentioned that you completely shut the idea of emotion out...so it was more of a forced decision?

What did you gain out of the 'friendships'? (clearly, sex lol but did they benefit you in any other way?) and did you find any aspect of them detrimental or did you just enjoy yourself?

Oh, and when you mean you never had an emotional connection with anyone other than your hubby, are you talking with other males only, or you NEVER had an emotional connection with another human (friends etc?)?

Sorry for the personal questions, you don't have to answer if you don't want, I'm just very curious. grin
i had a friend with benefits on and off since we were 17 we were never in a relationship together we wouldnt see each other for years then one of us would make contact but it did finially end when i fell pregnant i went to have a beautiful daughter but he has never seen her so i will always have an emotional attachment to him but i wouldnt change that
Women i don't think are programmed to have meaningless sex, (but it still can be done).

I've had plenty of "friends with benefits" and i think at some point, you do have to at least have a little feelings for the person, otherwise, you wouldn't wanna sex them all the time.

DF was kinda a "friend with benefits"...Although we never really got down and dirty, we spent a lot of time together. It actually was the sex that made me realize the amazing connection we really had! It is nothing like i have ever felt before!

Each to their own. Some women can hack it, some can't.



I too have had a couple of 'friends with benefits', but i dont think that they ever end well. Someone always inevitably gets hurt.

Hoorah to those that can do it, but i dont think that would be the majjority or the 'norm' in those situations.

Since you're the first person to state it's possible (haha), I'll pick on you, if that's ok!! grin smile

So what do you think it was that prevented you from becoming emotionally entangled in the sexual relationships?? 6 months is a long time! Although, you mentioned that you completely shut the idea of emotion out...so it was more of a forced decision?

What did you gain out of the 'friendships'? (clearly, sex lol but did they benefit you in any other way?) and did you find any aspect of them detrimental or did you just enjoy yourself?

Oh, and when you mean you never had an emotional connection with anyone other than your hubby, are you talking with other males only, or you NEVER had an emotional connection with another human (friends etc?)?

Sorry for the personal questions, you don't have to answer if you don't want, I'm just very curious. grin


I will get back to you shortly, just at swimming with DD grin
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