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Parents of 3 & 4 year olds PLEASE Lock Rss

After I posted this morning and a lady replied it got me thinking about what is suitable guidelines/punishment/rules for 3 & 4 year old boys - but not just boys in particular!

Am looking for ideas for
*hitting siblings/parents
*un-acceptable climbing
*thieving my stuff and hiding it or hiding with it lol!
*general naughtiness

I am not talking about the fun stuff that little boys do, just the INTENTIONAL naughtiness

We have been down the smacking raod, time out etc and finding nothing much is working in this VERY STRESSED HOUSE!

Any ideas VERY welcome thankyou wink

[Edited on 17/06/2009]

Julie + Rodger = Mackenzie 04 & Kristain 06

we have success atthis stage with te things youhave already tried so we have gone any further but my next step is ti remove their things from them or even bin their toys
the binning of toys usually is only the crap that comes from mc donalds and cheap $2 toys but once you start there my children realise you are serious

Hi Julie, the only forms of punishment we use are time out and toy removal.
I find toy removal to be really effective for the deliberate acts of naughtiness.
So dd2 smacks dd3, I will take away her DS for half of the day, if she does it again it is put on the fridge for the entire day, if it is done a third time it gets taken away for good. We never get to the third time.
I always use whatever is the favourite toy at the time. I used to threaten on the third time the toy would go in the bin, I did have to follow through with this ONCE, and it never happened again. Now that I am having to take away more expensive toys, I dont threaten with the bin because Im not willing to follow through with it
Time out works for us but maybe you could take away privelidges eg. no trips to the park, can't do their favourite activities, no treats....that sort of thing. I know that would work for my kids if we ever got to that stage.

My babies are all grown up sad

We use toy removal or time out. We never send the kids to their rooms as that is where some of their toys are kept and they dont see it as a punishment. We have to little children stools that are used specifically for time out and the kids know that and dont use these chairs for play. One of the stools is sitting in the hallway, with nothing to look at except the cream coloured wals and the other in the little bathroom/ powder room just off the loungeroom. Both areas are under constant supervision from the living/lounge/ kitchen/family area. Hope this made sense!

I have days where I feel stressed and just don't know what to do with them! After I've taken a deep breath and calmed down, I try to focus on what was going on BEFORE all that behaviour started. Generally with my kids, all those things can be blamed on boredom! Especially at this time of year when it's colder/wet outside and they are spending a lot more time inside. I find it more helpful to fix the problem than looking for ways to punish after the fact.
Sometimes this is just a matter of re-assessing what I'm doing and make a decision that the household chores can be left for that day, it's more important to keep the kids entertained smile
Thankyou all for the ideas!! Some good ones!

The take away toys might be the go.
Someone commented on putting the take away item on the fridge - well can't do that as DS1 is ALWAYS climbing in the fridge to find the stuff on the top lol! Might seem funny to you - OOOHHH but not to us - until I write it down that is lol!

And someone suggested take away treats, park trips etc... see they steal the treats - which causes me to be angry which means no trips ANYWHERE!

I feel I am fighting a vicious never ending battle with my boys. They do stupid stuff, i get angry, they behave worse cos they are in trouble, i get angry...can you see the pattern sad
Makes me sad that I don't enjoy my kids so much

Julie + Rodger = Mackenzie 04 & Kristain 06

I agree I think that sometimes the issue is with bordom. With my son (who often behaves like this at times) we just have to take a step back and assess why hes doing these things rather than it being just being bad/naughty behaviour. I then ask him why hes doing it and suggest is it that you are tired, bored, angry or what mummy's attention. He then often gets upset and tells me the reason and its amzaing to see how changes with a little redirection or assessing what has caused the issue.
Posted by: mummy06
I agree I think that sometimes the issue is with bordom. With my son (who often behaves like this at times)

DS1 does this all day long - grrr!

Posted by: mummy06
I then ask him why hes doing it it

I do this too - ANSWER - cos, it's funny - double grrrr!!!
[Edited on 17/06/2009]
[Edited on 17/06/2009]

Julie + Rodger = Mackenzie 04 & Kristain 06

I have 3 and 4 yr old boys too (almost 4 and 5). I find my pair are the best of friends but their closeness can also work negatively too at times. I find their behaviour is only bad when they are together, they bring out the best and worst in each other basically

So tip 1 - try and get some one-on-one time with them separately is my tip when you have two close in age, I think a little separation between them at times works well with my two (in our case our eldest starting kindy this yr helped). Also I send them to separate areas of the house if they are naughty for 10mins - they hate being apart so it works well this one!

Our most successful form of discipline is removal of their favourite toy as others have said. At 3/4yrs most kids have something that is their favourite toy. I give one warning, if behaviour happens again toy is gone for a specified period.

Other big tip is to focus on ONE undesirable behaviour at a time. Kids go through stages and I find attacking one issue at a time gets the best results. For instance maybe tackle the 'no hitting' one first. Discipline every single time they do it with whichever discipline measure works the best for them. If you consistently keep on it you will find the behaviour will improve and then tackle the next issue you want stamped out etc etc

Good Luck!!
And someone suggested take away treats, park trips etc... see they steal the treats - which causes me to be angry which means no trips ANYWHERE!

Do you have the treats already bought? I would not be buying anymore to keep in the house. Maybe use a star chart to start earning treats and then get them at teh end of the week or something along those lines?

Sorry, I don't have children this age, so I haven't had to worry about it just yet.

Love my boys M-10/05/08 J-01/12/09

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