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A Cute email I received today Rss

MUM - Job Description

This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us would
have done it!!!! But I can concur with it definitely

POSITION:
Mother, Mum, Mummy, Mom, Mama, Mommy

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in an,
often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments
in far away cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier
duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least
temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must
screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize
social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be
willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must
handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the
best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete
accountability for the qualit! y of the end product. Responsibilities
also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the
facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so
that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a
continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon
payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college
will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give
them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme
is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs
for life if you play your cards right.

Forward this on to all the Mums you know, in appreciation for everything
they do on a daily basis, and let them know they are appreciated.

Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

LOL, how totally awesome! i have just sent it to all the mums i know and i can gurantee it's finding it's way around oz as we speak!

thankyou for the giggles smile

denni

sahm to 5 midgit circus freaks

This post has been edited by the moderator.
Hi Stephanie,

that ws great!! I found this when my son was born and I thought it was so true, hope you like it too.

BEFORE I WAS A MUM

Before I was a Mum
I made and ate hot meals
I had unstained clothing
I had quiet conversations on the phone
Before I was a Mum
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got to bed
I brushed my hair and teeth everyday
Before I was a Mum
I cleaned my house each day
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies
Before I was a Mum
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous
I never thought about immunisations
Before I was a Mum
I had never been puked on, pooped on, spat on chewed on, peed on or pinched by tiny fingers
Before I was a Mum
I had complete control of my thoughts, my body and my mind
I slept all night
Before I was a Mum
I never held down a screaming child so the doctors could do tests or give shots
I never looked into teary eyes and cried
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep
Before I was a Mum
I never held a sleeping baby just because I did't want to put it down
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much
I never knew I would love being a Mum
Before I was a Mum
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby
I didn't know the bond between a mother and her child
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so Important
Befor I was a Mum
I had never got up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was OK
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love the heartache, the wonderfulment or the satisfaction of being a Mum
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much Before I was a MUM!
i'm going to print this and stick it on the fridge smile


in a resume Toni u could put :

waste management, chef, first aid officer, counsellor, referee, team manager, payroll officer, and the list goes on. in actual fact we as mums are over qualifyed for everything hahahaha!!!

What a Classic!!

DD 13/11/03 -DD 11.11.05 - DS 17.4.08

I'm crying with laughter, like actually laughing out loud!!!!!!!!! It's sad but true, and funnily enough, we usually go back for seconds!!

Sarah,VIC 18mth daughter

Hi Stephanie,
What a great E-mail will be forwading it on to everyone I know.
Good luck for the end of March!!
Stacey and Cody

StaceyW.A Cody(Son)10/7/03Jordyn(Daughter)25/11/04

Hi Stephanie,
I thoought this email was great and so did my husband we were both laughing out loud.
could you please send this to my email so that I can share it with friends and family especially my mum, thanks
My email: suleek2004@yahoo.com
.au

sulee,nsw,babyb'day15/8/2003

Hi Stepahnie,

I read your email on friday night and thought it was GREAT! I actually posted a poem back to you, but as yet it is still in the moderator's hands.
Hopefully thay will post it soon!!
Keep an eye out.
Dear Mummyjen, i have read that poem before but it still brings a tear to my eye, thanks for posting it.

I also loved the job description post, it makes me realize that I'm so overqualified for anyother job , i'll just stick to being a mum. wink

marianne, Qld , mum cheeky monkey 14months

this is beautiful too



Why Women Cry...


A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.


Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said: "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world, yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

Thought this was great - well it made me laugh!
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