Slack Friend

Hello Bigmama

I would say your friend was just very slack and expected you to do all the work! some friends are like that and I don't think they are really true friends!

A real friend would have called you to see how you were just to make sure you were okay!

They say that friends come and go and the ones that stick around are true friends!

all the best

bye

melissa

I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone for their advice.

My so called friend still hasn't called! I am a bit disappointed but am not going to get upset about it!

I have my little boy who makes me happy (and my hubby too & my pussycats) and not to mention the great friends I have made through mothers group and my other friends who I still see of course!

thanks again

melissa

Yes Happy Birthday!! I guess we can all be slack sometime or the other, but think it is important that you make the effort. Well it seems that you have made the effort, I think she should also make some effort. As you have said friendship is a two way street. I have lost a friendship of 8+ yrs, don't even know the reason. Got hurt that much that I am very weary of letting girlfriends getting too close.

I know how everyone feels, I had my baby shower last thursday and asked one of my so-called friends if she would throw it for me. She said yes then passed it onto another friend two days later and then didn't even turn up for the shower. She told one of our friends that she didn't come because she couldn't be bothered getting out of bed! Now she is acting like everything is normal which is hard as we have to work together, I just be polite and talk to her as little as possible. True friends are very hard to find.

Hi Melissa
I've currently got the same problem with a friend of nearly 12 years. Its actually only been since I had Liam that she's really flipped her lid (I've got a post titled 'Friends gone wierd'). I thought I was the only one who this happened to, makes me feel a bit better.
Like many people pointed out to me your friend could be jealous. Not sure how many kids she has or if its just daughter. BuBut my friend has 2 girls so when I had a boy thats when it all began. I asked her to be my support person which she did then she only came to the hospital once after Liam was born. But she told everyone that she be there heaps. I find that I always have to do the work so I've had enough, and am not calling her until she starts pulling her weight in the friendship.
Like many others have said a true friend will call you, some friendships exist on occasional phone calls, but you wouldn't call them really close.
You sound like a wonderful caring person and remember you only have to work at making , your hubby and son happy. As long as they are the rest should just flow. (don't mean that friends aren't important just hubby and son are no1 priority)
Kristy

Hello Kristy

thank you so much for your kind words!

You sound like a lovely person!

I have since spoken to my friend but I get the feeling it is going to be me trying to organise things so I haven't.To be polite I am going to invite her to my sons birthday party next month. But I get the feeling we won't see much of each other after that!

I like you and going to put my energies into my other friendships! It just not worth all the chasing is it!


bye

melly

Hi Melissa,
Ironically my friend rang me today after 2 weeks. She gave some lame excuse about being busy, sick kids, etc. etc. I know her kids have been sick , they always are, but 2 weeks no.
I had a Jigsaw party just over a week ago and she never bothered to turn up, and then today she asked how it went. I told her it went really well and I got heaps of stuff, which was true. Her reason for not coming was that she was digging and by the time she realised what day it was and what the time was it was too late, told me that you know with kids how you never know what day it is and loose track of everything. I told her no I don't I always know what day it is. Anyway I'm going to put in as much as she does now , which isn't much, and won't bother to rely on her like I used to but I haven't needed to since before Liam was born.
Remember your husband and son love you and you can't be that bgad if you ahve other friends who like you. Kick back and take it easy with her.
Take care.
Kristy

Hi Melissa

i have a friend who is very similar, i'm always the one ringing her and making the effort, and I often get peeved with her because of it, but i spoke to her about it, told her it really bugged me and asked if she was just trying to diss me or something... she was really really apologetic for being so slack, told me she's really sorry and that she treasures my friendship and has since made much more effort to keep in touch.

Have you spoken to your friend to let her know it bugs you??? Maybe that'd help, if things still dont pick up then i agree that maybe you should move on and stop letting her take up your time.

Bel