Extending the Family

Hi, i was just wondering if anyone could tell me how they prepared for baby two! My son will only be nineteen months old and i have all these questions like how do i involve him or will he understand, will he think that i don't love him anymore, will i have time to play all his games, will i cope, how do you cope. any advise is welcome.:~

my oldest was 16 months when no2 was born, and no 2 was 13.5 months when no3 was born. ( 3 under 2.5 at birth of baby 3)
They all coped well. It is as they get older that it is a bit harder. eg the eldset ( 3 in may ) will eat breakfast by himself & lunch but at dinner says "mummy feed you like a baby " meaning for me to feed him! i do but make him havea turn, he is not so much jealous but just feeling left out i guessas the others are being fed!
until the baby is really mobile you'll still have tine to play with the older one as they do sleep a lot in the day .( if your lucky!) I heard you shouildn't say that mummy will still love you as that thought wouldn;t entered their head but if you say it then they might think what if she doesn't. Let him "help" i let the other 2 hold the baby ( with my help ) , hold the bottle for him etc. The 18 month old was feeding the baby the farex the other day ( with a little help) . I bought a baby doll for my son which he used to love to feed and i had to wrap it in a baby wrap. you'll cope, if oyu want to emauil me privately do so on bubblefish3@aol.com for further hints!

My daughter was 21 months when my son was born and she coped rather well but didn't understand what was happening but before I had him I made her a little more independant and also bought her a doll with all the bits and pieces that I would use with my son and without coaxing she feed her baby and cuddled it. I give her something special when I'm feeding him, eg a lollie snake or a toy that only comes out when I feed my son, she does get a little bit upset when I can't pick her up when I'm holding my son but I turn her attention to something else and she's happy again. She has never shown any signs of jealousy I just whenever I can do something really special with her and spend one on one time with her when my son is asleep. When she is naughty she still gets told of the same with time out or a toy gets taken away but as she is now two she is testing me that little bit more and no matter how hard a day we are having I try not to be any harder on her than normal.

Hi there,
My son will be 20 months when baby number two comes along in July. I have been worrying about the same things. I have recently moved to New Zealand from Scotland and am finding it all very different from back home. I have started putting my son in pre school for a few hours, just to get him used to other children and to get used to not having me there all the time. I am also going to put him in his own room in the next few weeks, so he is used to it by the time the baby comes along.
There just seems so much to think about smile

The differnece in age for my 2 is 55 weeks. When I was doing things with my oldest I would get her to rub my tummy & explain that we would have a new baby. It got to the stage that she would just put her hand on my tummy & say bubba. The day that the new baby was born hubby went straight to my room & brought are daughter into the DS ( delivery suite) so she could see the new baby. We also gave her a baby doll so she didn't feel left out. When grandparents came into DS she was sitting beside new baby and telling everyone bubba and then also showing her bubba. From day 1 I allowed my child to help me with feeding, bathing etc etc. With each new stage the baby went through her big sis has been there to show her the way. Now 8 months on they are the best of friends & we have had no probs. The youngest just wants to be with her sis and they both get upset when they are apart.

i am so worried about how my little boy will cope with baby number 2. he has just turned 2 and he is so clingy to me. no matter what my partner and i try he still always wants me. i dont want him to feel pushed aside by me when bubs come.he loves playing with his doll but when it comes to me even holding another baby he freaks and does everything to get my attention. HELP ME!

Hi Tracy
Three weeks ago my son turned 2 years old 2 days before I had my second son. I made a point of including him in all aspects of my pregnancy. He came to all my midwife visits and to every scan with hubby and I. He helped us set up the nursery with his "Old Cot", we made a point of introducing him into a single bed before #2 arrived so there wouldn't be any jealously problems over #2 sleeping in "his cot". He has his own "baby" which he feeds with one of his old bottles every time I feed #2. WE do have the odd time when he gets jealous that mummy is spending too much time with #2, but I make a point of spending as much time as possible with him when baby is asleep.
smile

Thankyou everyone its great knowing your not alone and theres alot of people how have there kids close together.

Thanks again

thanxs for all the advice. my son is starting to get excited about new bubs as am i. he has taken well to his new big bed and car seat. i know its still going to be a shock for him when bubs come but i think im more prepared to handle it now.

Hi staci well by the time you read this you would have had baby no 2 hope all went well.
If you ever get around to reading this i would realy like to know how your son copes i have a 2 yr old son who is very clingy with me and we are worried about having another baby

well baby number 2 is here and all is well.
my son adores his new brother and hasnt shown any signs of jealousy yet. i hope it lasts.
we involve him in nappy changes and bath times and i think he just loves being a part of it all.
i understand how you feel shell and i know its hard esp when they are so clingy.just involve them in the pregnancy and after with the baby, it makes them feel special too. we know we have enough love to give them both, we just have to let them know too.

Hey staci
Glad to here eveything is all well. Thanks for writing me back so quick after having bubs. Its nice to talk to people who are going throught the same things it just puts your mind at eas when you can bump your thought of someone who has been through the same.
Hope you are enjoying your little bundle of joy and im glad that your older son is to