I cant cope

hi i am 22 i have a 18 month old daughter. please if you feel like you cant cope give me a call 0417084103 there is numbers also that are available for parents to call. i am sure you're a fantastic mum. are you stressed constantly? i know eilish picks up on it when i am stressed and plays on it constantly. dont be disheartened. i am sure your a great mother but rome wasn't built in a day. do you think its the things she's eating? she might have ADHD or ADD have you been to see a doctor? changed her diet? have you got someone to call to come get her when you need time out?

my email is kodeybear@hotmail.com (also msn messenger)
bombababenaz is my yahoo chat name
melancholynaz is my AOL chat name

hi
i do know how you feel i have 5 children 2 step and three of my own. i to had problems with my first child as he got to 14 mths he started being uncontrollable yet their would be times he was an angel and things didnt seem right. so i took him to camhs and he went through all sorts of help from speech to occupational therapy he evan went to a group which had children like my son once a week. it didnt seem to help but knowing you were not alone made me feel better as my family said it was just his age and that i should start diciplining him. well time out dint work reasoning didnt work so i went and seen a pediatritian by this time he was 3 1/2 i asked if he had add or adhd but was told he was to young so we kept seeing the same doc and still no change so i got another referal and seen another pediatriation i mentioned about add or adhd she gave me a trial of medication i know this seems mean but something had to be done and it worked we now have a child we can reason with most days. i also have a step son with adhd a daughter who is four and does have behaviour problems but i can see a differance with her tantrums to the boys and know that its just her trying for more attention as she is the only girl. so i hope i dont seem to be dribbling but thought it might be some use to you so dont worry what other people think. im 22 and have a lot of rude comments on my childrens behaviour and you know with in your self that you are doing the best that you can. so go and ask for help your doing a great job!
you can always talk to me through email it is mayhew6@airnet.com.au

good luck
seonee

Hi Seonee,
I know exactly how you feel. My eldest son was diagnosed with ADD when he was at the end of grade 2. He is now about to go into grade 6, and has been on Medication for almost 3 years. My inlaws keep telling me he doesn't have ADD and doesn't need medication, all he needs is proper disapline. I disagree. I have seen the change in my son since he has been on medication. We did go through a trial period where he was off the medication for a couple of months, was life was a complete disaster. Even my son was wanting his medication back so he could be "normal" (his words). My daughter doesn't have ADD/ADHD, but does tend to misbehave to gain my attention. (She too is our only daughter, and suffers from the middle child syndrome. She has to contend with an older brother with ADD, and a younger brother (8.5 months old), who gains the attention of all our visitors). It took me until my son was 7.5 years old to get the help he needed, because I was constantly being told all he needed was disaplining, and he was an active child. I now know, that what I am doing is the best for my children and all our sanity. He understands that he needs his medication, so that he can learn properly in school, and have a peaceful life. This works for all concerned, so other people who don't have children like my son, shouldn't tell us how to raise them. They should be more encouraging to them for getting the help needed, and raising great kids. Keep up the good work!!!
Tracey

hi tracey
thanks for letting me know im not the only one feels that ever body thinks your child just needs a good smack. these children dont just have uncontrollable tantrums its more than that its the learning the social and emotional effect it has on the child and nobody sees that apart from the parents who deal with their children every day when my child is off his medication hes yelling,hitting others and hes very emotional and he doesnt like this feeling.q

if your child is like this,hang in there their is help!

thanks tracey

seonee

try tresillian they can help u

hi bubbles mummy i'm 32 and have two children one whos4 and the other who is 18 mths my 4 year old went through that stage and still has alot of tantrums but he is very smart and way above the other kids at kindy. I have heard that very smart children get very fed up and board they get frustrated which is half of connors problem but on the other hand my 18 mth little girl is very different to her brother and started the tantrums at 6 mths and screams so loud if she can't get her own way. So i find either walk away or putting her in her room for a couple of minutes. Or if they are still in a cot put her in there. i find that i often say that i can't cope but when they through with their little spit its all worth while . Maybe you could try your local clinic nurse i don't know where your from but i go to springwood clinic in brisbane my nurse is so lovely i've had her since connor was tiny she always has time to sit and listen. My husand and i also did a positive partening program run through the clinics it was the best thing we ever did its all free which is even better. We are not smackers but alot of parents were at our course but after the 8 week course then realised that smacking gets nowhere but by talking to them like little people got them alot further.I feel any one who tries to do the right thing by their children and try to seek help like you are doing are great parents and when your little angel grows up she will thank you for all your trouble you went through to get her to the fanstatic littler person she will turn into. And when you can see that she is this wonderful spirit that you moulded all the hard times you went through will seem like a distant memory. Motherhood is the hardest thing to cope with and the biggest job to get our angels to a person that can cope with anything in life that gets thrown at them. You will be fine and remember that your not the first person to find it hard and won't be the last then when you get through all this you will be able to then help other mums in the same boat and give them advice beacuse you came through it all with a wonderful angel that you helped spread their wings . remember that a tanrum and screaming last for a short time the other joys that are too come will last forever. And if all that fails kindy is a wonderful thing. Goodluck.

Hi bubbles_mummy

I really don't know how you feel as I have never gone through what you are at the moment, I do know you are a good mum. You care enough to find help. I am a single mum to a 2 yr old boy and I sometimes doubt myself about being a good mum, and find myself crying myself to sleep because of it. When I feel like this I ring the Riverton help line (38622333) in brisbane, they have a 1800 number not sure what it is, they are a 24 hour help line, and are very helpful, they deal with everything from sleep problems to eating problems. I have called them many times that they probably know me by my voice by now..lol

Hope this helps and that you soon find peace. If you ever want to talk email me nixshanix@hotmail.com

Dear bubbles_mummy. My daughter is now 4 yrs old, but at the same age, I had problems with her too. The bed thing was terrible and just everyday with her made me feel mad and upset as well. I too had my husband saying the same thing, as he thinks that the mother should be able to cope. Well I didnt at first. I was always screaming at her, and sometimes i felt like i wanted to throw her, but out of sheer love, i went to the bathroom and screamed my lungs off. I say the bathroom cuz its more louder and effective. It helped to get the anger out. Once I ad my scream, I washed my face and talked to myself in the mirror telling me its ok, and that she is only little.
Your not a bad mother. And yes it is a stage that she will grow out of, but in the meantime, you just need to try a different approach each time she does something like throw things at you. For example, ignore her at first. Then after the third time, go to her, with a stern voice and say to her NO. Send her to her room and tell her, naughty. Eventually I found that this helped. The ignorance that you show at first will surprise her. eventually she will stop. Try your hardest to make time for yourself. even if it is at 2am in the morning. Find a good book to read, or i found that chatting on the net helped heaps. It took me to a different world of my own. In fact, I have a community on MSN site that I developed just to escape. Funnily enough its called Escape from the world. Please check it out. http://groups.msn.com/escapefromtheworld I really did end up coping and I know you will too. Its just time hun. Thats all, you are a great mother, and dont let anyone, INCLUDING YOURSELF think or say otherwise.