Huggies Forum

Daycare?????? Lock Rss

My son is 14months and dosnt see other kids very often only at swimming lessons once a week and 2days when im at water areobics for the hour.

I dont want to put him in day care as i love him with me all day and i think id be more up set then he would be to go to day care. Im a shy person so i dont go to playgroup.
Am i a bad mother cause i wont put him in daycare?
I know he should interact with other kids (he has cousins that he sees about once a month) so he can learn but i do get down to his level and play with him during the day.

Please tell me your thoughts!!! (the community health nurse said he is doing well and he is doing what all 14 months should but i feel guilty sometimes that i may be being nasty not sending him)
Hi again. LoL .. this is too wierd, as I was reading this I could of swore I wrote it myself. Not only is my name also Kirsty, but we also sound very similar. I'm also quite a shy person, so I dont go to playgroup (not only for that fact, but I also dont have a car during the day). Jaida also doesnt see any other kids apart from her 1yr old cousin who we also see only once a month.

As long as they're doing ok (ie don't freak out in a social situation) I don't really think it matters. Enjoy your time with little Kyle!


Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

Hi Kyle's mummy,

I have a 14 month old baby and I also enjoy being with him all the time. He doesn't have any kids around him except for a cousin who is 2 1/2 we see him only every 3-4 months. I have tried attending a few mother's groups but I just didn't enjoy them at all. I'm not a shy person, just reserved so I don't really like mixing in big groups.

My baby is not socially shy and is doing really well in all stages of his developement. He visits a paediatrician every 3 months for check-ups (for his reflux) and he has advised me that all is ok.

I feel the same about day-care, so he won't be attending that until he's about 3 years old.

Try not to feel too guilty you are just a loving mum that's all.

Take care.


Mum to toddler

I am a big advocate of daycare for social intereatcion, however i am a bigger advocate of the right to choose smile

Do what feels right fo you, your not a bad mum jsut because you dont wnat to do what everyone else seems to be doing, dont let anyone tell you your decision is wrong either.


Sometimes i think we forget t hat it wasnt that long ago that daycare wasnt available as freely as it is now and that you were actually considered a bad mum if you did choose childcare and not to have them home with you.

Your a good mum for wanting to do whats best for you son.

Good luck smile

Sharon, 24, Qld, 2 boys 3 & 5, girl 1.

hi kyle's mummy
just to tell you , please don't feel guilty.
enjoy every minute with your baby,they don't stay little forever. I had to leave my first child at the child care since he was three months and I hated it because I just wanted him all to my self.
I could visit him cos' I was working there but it was not the same,so I went part time.
No way would I go full time till theyget much older,
( I forget to mention I also have a 15 month baby)

mother of two vic

Hey Kirsty,my son is the same age as your little guy.I work in an early childcare centre in NZ and like you I was a little unsure of putting Flynn into Daycare.The fortunate thing is that I came across an excellent Home Based care company that is affordable and flexible with hours.Flynn shares his carer with 3 other children and they do things that would be done if he was to stay at home with me.Flynn has learnt to be socialable and very accepting of other people,he is starting to talk and he plays very well with other children.This is one of the best choices we have made for Flynn and we know he is safe and happy.Maybe you could look into something like this for your son.

Mother of Flynn,Auck NZ

Mother of Flynn,Auck NZ

i agree with bright spark i prefer top put my son into daycare for social interaction more or less not for the sake of putting him there just to get peace and quiet. daycare isn't for every1 because not every one can afford it. if it is possible put your child into day care when u think it is right and when u can afford it , and make it a fun experience for them as it will be good for their interaction and socialising skills.
At 14 months of age I think it is fine what you are doing, you are still his universe but getting towards two years of age you will notice your little one starts to enjoy the company of others more also, anyway that is what I found out and I am enrolling my boy in occassional care for a few hours a week for his enjoyment. My advice is if it dosen't feel right yet, don't do it, wait until your a both ready. cheers.

I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old. When Aimee was born I decided then that he needed more time with other kids, so put him into daycare one half a day a week. It was also so i could spend some time with Aimee and at teh same time ahve a break from him.

Haydn is a fairly active 3 year old and has plenty of fun on his own, he doesn't seem to need other kids his age around to have fun, but to me, I thought, he has to go to kindy soon and need him to adapt to being away from mum. He now loves daycare, every friday morning he packs his bag and waits at the door! I have noticed a change in him since being at daycare, and that is his behaviour.

We also attend mums group once a month and kindergym every tuesday apart from during school holidays.

I think though if your son is happy, then I wouldn't worry about anything. It us up to you and what you wont to do. Though I will admit the times I have away from Haydn, I really enjoy! I love him, but even mum needs a break every now and then.

I was very much like you when Laura was 14 months - I loved her company (sounds silly, but she is basically my best friend!), and we had lots of fun home together.

We would get to the shops regularly, and to the park/library most afternoons where she would see and sometimes interact with other kids, but really she had very little contact with other children. I took her to playgroup once and was so uncomfortable that we didn't go back.

As Laura got beyond 18 months, I noticed a real change in her personality - she was suddenly more confident and always fascinated by other children when she saw them. I began to think about daycare part time (and hence, my returning to work so I could afford daycare!), for her benefit, as I was starting to think she was lonely for some company her age.

Step one for me was trying to work out what daycare involved, how much it would cost, and whether we could find a place (we'd been on waiting lists 'just in case' for over 12 months). For anyone in the same situation, this is basically what our daycare centres around here involve (we live in Brisbane). The centre we chose opens at 6, closes at 6.30pm. Costs for toddler room are around $47 per day, and you can get back anywhere from $6 to $45 or so in Child Care Benefit (depending on income of your family). We go two days a week, as I was lucky to find a new boss that was happy to have me only 2 days!

Finding a place was stressful. We were consistently told 'not this year' - and this was in February! Things suddenly got better when I followed my aunt's advice and rang back the centres to tell them my definate start date with work. It was tricky juggling this; we ended up deciding to hire a nanny until we got offered a place.. anyway suddenly we were offered 3 places in centres near our home! We checked them all out, (of course!), and it was a toss up between a brand new centre on the way to work, or an established centre further out from our home. It was no contest for me - went for the second one which had a much better vibe and which Laura was so much more content at from minute one. The staff were impressively attentive, caring, and helpful too. Definately a time for mum's intuition to help choose.

The first few weeks at the centre, Laura loved it - squealing in delight when we got to her room and racing around looking at everything. I was distraught leaving her, but found it much easier once I'd gotten to work and was focussing on other things.

Suddenly, around week 5, Laura began to resist going, and even crying when we pulled into the parking lot. I know that she has a great time when she's there - I can see it myself and I hear it from all her 'teachers' - but she hates to be dropped off and to see me go. I think it has more to do with her feeling a bit unsettled at home lately (we are trying to sell our home, I'm studying and there is a bit of stress), but it makes me feel awful to leave her.

There is also the big drawback that the whole family now comes down with every cold and tummy bug going around the centre. I hate being sick - so this is not fun. I'm now expecting my second child and am almost glad to have the option of leaving work again and bringing everyone home. We haven't decided, though, whether we will try to keep Laura at daycare for her 2 days a week so she gets some consistency and we all have a little break (and I have a chance to bond 1-on-1 with my second child).

Hard to say what the outcome has been so far - she was a confident kid before daycare and is still very much so now. I would just like to add the cautions about (a) being prepared for all the bugs, and (b) being careful not to start up daycare when other big things are going on (in our case, because of my pregnancy, poor Laura was weaned on top of everything else within a few weeks of starting daycare).

Anyway, best of luck. I agree with the other replies here that you are only trying to do what's best for your little one and you definately shouldn't feel guilty for that.

PS sorry for the long reply!

Laura (2), another on the way!

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