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New Baby & the OUCH! Princess (Please Help) Lock Rss

Huggies Mums & Dads,

3 weeks ago we bought home our second little girl from the hospital and she is going great guns.
I proactively prepared my 21 month old little girl for the new arrival with the help of my sister in law with baby play using a baby doll, a "My New Baby" book etc. She took to it great. The baby arrived and she was fantastic. As gentle and fasinated as you would expect a 21 month old to be. However now the novelty period has worn off and she has started hitting me, her nana, dad and the baby saying OUCH! each time she hits. I am doing all I can to side track her, getting her to feed her baby with me, reading stories with me (while feeding), having special time for the baby and toddler together, but to no avail. I don't want to smack but if I do I make it worse. I don't want to keep telling her off but if I do I make it worse. I have even tried ignoring the behaviour, but this hurts everyone, literally, and most of all me. She is fine when the baby is asleep and not in my arms but when the baby is up and feeding in particular and the toddler is not sidetracked it is very difficult for me. I recognise she is jealous but I don't know how to help her handle her feelings or if it is even possible to do so at her age.
Any ideas you have would be greatly appreciated as my husband works away and I will be managing the day with the two kids on my own for the most part.

Deb G.

Deb,PER, 14mth Baby

As you said, your daughter sounds jealous and I think it's pretty common. It sounds like you have done all you could to prepare her, so the only thing I would suggest would be to have special time playing with her whilst the baby is asleep so that she feels important too. She is still quite young and unable to effectively deal with her emotions. Maybe you could put her in time out when she hits someone, explaining that it is wrong. Obviously at her age she will not sit there for very long but ifyou do it every time she is aggressive it should work. It sounds to me as if you're doing a great job, good luck!
Hi Deb,
I felt I wanted to reply to you even though I don't have a second baby yet. My daughter turned two in December and I just wanted to remind you that toddlers of your daughter's age can be hard to handle even when there isn't a new baby in the house. They all try hitting/ kicking/ biting/ tantrums- the lot. It must be even harder to deal with when you're trying to bond with your new baby. Of course your daughter s jealous but I think one of the best tings about having siblings is learning social behaviours, so mabye this is a good time to try to teach her that being jealous is no excuse for unacceptable behaviour. She would probably be testing you in a similar way whether the bub was there or not, except she'd be less likely to get away with it s she was still the only child. All I can suggest is to hang in htere and try not to let her get away with behaviour that you think's unacceptable, not matter why she's doing it. Good luck!

Ellie, NSW, DD 3 yrs & TTC # 2

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