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At my wits end! Lock Rss

I have a toddler (Ethan) that has just turned 2. He's always been pretty advanced for his age but has only just started getting a violent streak about himself. He's usually a very loving and caring child and always there to give a hug, kiss or pat on the back when needed but these recent months he's been hitting, headbutting and raising his voice at his family members (Myself, his dad, uncle, etc).
He currently goes to daycare twice a week and we've asked his carers what he's been like there, afraid that he may be bullying other children but he hasn't. They say that he's a perfect little angel. It doesn't make any sense to me at all...
I was just wondering if anyone had any advise on what to do as time-outs are becoming an issue as they just get him worked up and he makes himself sick. Telling him off in a stern voice is leading to him telling us back off and tapping on the nappy seems to be encouring him to hit back harder.
I'm desparate to know of any ideas which may help as our second is due in 3mths time and we'd like Ethan calmed down and settled before then.
I don't think I have a lot of help for you, but some thoughts about your comments from a teacher's perspective, but a parent who is about 6mth behind you (my little treasure is 18mth):

If he is behaving at daycare, but not at home - there's good and bad news. This means he has the ability to behave himself appropriately(this is good - there is nothing wrong with Ethan), but that he is probably testing you (and family members) to see what he can get away with.

As for time-out, I'm not sure that at 2, kids are developed cognitively enough to understand the concept as a form of discipline (perhaps some of you with similar aged kids can share your experiences with this). I think it is generally recommended at about 3yrs. My sister did try it with her son a few months before 3 and has had reasonable success with it.

Here are some ideas: Try a range of management strategies and see which are the most effective. Distraction works great with my DS, although is becoming less effective as getting older. Try ignoring behaviour where possible, as a family have one response to violent behaviour - ie "no" or "gentle" and maybe holding the offending hand or whatever to stop the behaviour. Sorry, don't have lots of ideas for you. There is another forum at the moment on "hitting toddlers" as in toddlers hitting others. This could be interesting to watch.

All of the best for your family and new bub. I hope some others have more ideas for you.

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