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Time to discipline your todder? Lock Rss

I have a very active lovely DS who is nearly 19mths old. My husband and I are also expecting our second child in 6 weeks (very excited!). However, our son has started to have tantrums and push the boundaries on a few issues. i.e. getting handful of soil out of the plant pots and throwing it onto the carpet.

When do you start disciplining your children and how do you do it when they are so young? We tried to sit him down on the couch and explain that this was a time out and then look away from him while still trying to get him to stay in time-out for about 1 and half minutes but this did not work and I felt that by being next to him was a treat and not a punishment. He has been walking since 9 mths so can move pretty quickly when he wants to!

I would appreciate hearing what other parents are doing.

Cheers

Mum of Two lovely children

I started disapline with my kids before they even turned one. It may have just been a look or a change in the tone of my voice. When they started to crawl or walk and started to touch things they shouldn't i would look them in the eyes and say 'no don't touch, naughty or bitey'. They soon got the message. 19 month is not to young to start, at that age they have a pretty good idea of your tone of voice and DO learn very quickly.
Just be consistent and don't cave if they get upset.

Good Luck

countrygirl

Hi There Happy
Your son sounds a little like my boy (very active, walking at 9 months).
Best things that I found worked for us (as James is a 2.5 year old attention seeker), is when we are at home and he misbehaves, we use Time Out. I used to be able to put him in Time Out (before he could climb out of his cot this worked pretty well). Now, I tell him to stop whatever he is doing and I walk away and put myself in "Time Out" - I will usually walk into a bedroom and shut the door Pretty quickly he gets the idea that he is getting no attention for the naughty behaviour. If he misbehaves when we are out, we usually get him to sit and calm down. (Of course, we have to give him lots of praise and attention for doing the right thing, or good behaviour so that he learns what we want him to do, rather that what we don't want, IYKWIM).
Another thing that works for us is taking his toys away for a period of time. James has a train set that he used to get destructive with (pulling it apart and throwing the pieces etc). We took it away from him (including the table it sits on) for about a week. This was just recently and since we put it back together again, he hasn't done it. He used to throw his toy cars as well, and we used to confiscate them too (usually overnight). He would cry when we took it away, but he eventually learned.
Anyway, hopefully something here may work for you and your boy. The only thing with these techniques is that is may not be an overnight fix (if you get my meaning) - your patience might get tested at times (at least it will if you are anything like me), but it will eventually get better! Good luck.

James' Mum

We started to discipline our daughter when she was about six months old. Changing the tone of our voice and telling her "no" worked initially but now we use a realistic consequence after a warning. For example, tonight ( after a particulalrly difficult day where there were many tantrums and I was at my wits end) she refused to pack up her toys before bathtime and proceeded to get out her doll and pram. I asked her if she had packed up and she said no. The consequence was that if she did not pack up the pram would be put into our storeroom and she wouldn't be able to play with it for a while. it's amazing how quickly the toys were packed away! It's tough, but don't cave in and only threaten what you can do. We had a 90 minute tantrum over a cheesestick today - I gave her grapes for morning tea and she wanted a cheesestick. I told her that she could have a cheesestick after the grapes and it took a whole hour and a half but she finally calmed down, ate the grapes and got her cheesestick. I know it's easy to give in but if you give in to that, where do you draw the line?
Good luck. It's tough but achievable.

Carly - mummy to Alyssa, Ava and Mason

Hi,

This is my first time so I hope its ok!

I have a 20mth gorgeous little girl and I was wondering the same thing about discipline. Was thinking of trying the naughty room, etc, etc but just went to see our Paediatrician and asked him what to do and he suggested that if it is a tantrum because she isn't getting what she wants or her own way to just ignore her completely or distracting her but if it is a tantrum because she is distressed or scared, to give her cuddles and reassurance. I mentioned the naughty room/corner to him and he said that it doesn't really work until they are at least 2 yrs old.
So I guess from now on I am going to try his advice because I don't want to smack her as she may then feel that she can smack other children or newborns.
I don't know if this is of any help, but I am going to see if it works!
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