stressed out

Hi there my name is Abby I just found this websit tonight and think its such a great idea. I have a 3 and a half year old daughter and have just had my second child another wee girl who is just about 6 weeks old. My oldest has always been excited about "my baby sister" right from day 1 when I told her mummy was having a baby. So since the new arrival she has been such a proud big sister but then the behaviour problems are driving both her dad and I insane. She constantly answers back, we are always doing the whole 1 , 2 , 3 thing with no success. She is a great kid dont get me wrong but we are just getting to our wits end shes soooo much hard work not physical just the mental work I go to bed at night absolutly exhausted.
If anyone out there is going through or has been through this stage I would love to hear your advise so I can maybe keep some of my insanity Im also looking for an email buddy to have those great conversations with and share all the cute things that our children can sometimes do!
Hope to hear from you soon
Abby

Hi my name is Sue. I have 3 Kids Matthew 41/2, Sarah 21/2 and Jessica 9 months old. I don't work. Being a mum is hard work. Don't stress out. If you want to e-mail me. I'd love to hear from you. You can sms me if you want my mobile number is 041 223 5329 (If you want) I'd love to chat. by the way this is my first time on parents exchange. I hope it works out. Please reply.

hi sue how are you well I do stressed out to i got three childen one is 8 one is 10 and i got 7 1/2 baby boy the anther to is my step childen and i stressed all the time my boy friend said to not stressed out to mush because they are just boys so don;t worried i would love to here from you to I am 27 and love to talk you to I am from QLD where are you from Emal me on JohanneChambers@bigpond.com what is your Email ..we can talk about stresssed together..

Hi how are you? Thankyou for replying to me. Where abouts in Australia are you from?? Im in Dunedin New Zealand I too dont work now after having my second child its not worth it the daycare bills are too high! I try not to stress out but its really hard I think its just adjusting to having 2 children! My partner is a chef and works long hours and isnt at home for the hardest time of day - tea bath then stories before bed! But when their both in bed I can relax as we have been really lucky - our 6wk old Lucie has slept through the night since she was 5wks thank god!! My oldest Lydia goes to daycare (just to give me a break) 2 days a week she is such a full on busy wee girl and I spose has been an only child for too long!! Well I think Ive dribbled on more than enough for today!! Hope to hear from you soon or you can SMS me too on 0212311210.
Abby

Hi Abby My name is Narelle. I have two girls Monica is 8yo and Jessica is 6 months old. I can understand what you are going through as my 8yo is doing the same thing. I find blackmail works wonders! I know its mean but it works. Its also a jealousy thing. They were so used to being the only child and getting all the attention from mummy and daddy but now there is a new addition to the family and there is not so much attention as before so they will play up to get your attention. Maybe one day when your husband has the day off work, you take your 3 yo out somewhere special just the two of you and maybe make it a weekly or fortnight thing so she knows she is still loved. if she plays up just tell her that you will not be going out and she will soon change her mind about being naughty. also include her in all the things you do with baby. You never know she might get bored with it and go off and play by herself. I hope this information has helped. you can email me at jessemon2003@yahoo.com.au if you want to chat some more.

regards Narelle.

Hi Abby!
My name is Row. I have 2 girls also - 2yrs and 6 months. I know my older one isn't as old as yours so things probably aren't the same but I find if I let her cuddle or play with the baby whenever she wants to (within reason) she stays happy. I also make sure I carry through any promises and discipline that I say I will. She knows I'm not joking and most of the time she behaves quite well. I do find that I go to bed totally exhausted as well though. I think that's part of the deal with young children.
It's also difficult for us cos' both our girls are sick and have been for months so they're not sleeping well and are tired themselves. I think if we just remember they are only children and don't understand what we wish they could it's easier to tolerate them!
I would love an email buddy too so if you want tp keep in touch my email address is rowcuddles@yahoo.com.au

I didn't think that I was the only one suffering for lack of sleep, but it is comforting to read other people's comments all the same. I have an 18 month old daughter, and a son who is 7 weeks old. My daughter loves to try and help with the baby, but is not so impressed with me, as I can't spend as much time with her as I used to, and she has started misbehaving - doing things she knows she shouldn't, and refusing to go to bed. I breast fed her until she weaned herself at 11 months, and since then about the only way to get her to bed has been to bottle feed her to sleep, even before the baby was born. If I put her in her cot while she is still awake but drowsy, she screams the place down, and has actually climbed out of her cot once, and fallen flat on her face. In the last week, she has finally given in to sleep while watching the TV - slumped over a box, still standing up! I am organising to buy her a bed - hoping that she might learn that there is somewhere she can go to sleep without relying on me to put her there, and if my son is asleep, I am hoping to lie with her in her bed to get her used to the idea. Don't have much advice for you, but will keep an eye out for any additional advice you receive

Hi Abby,
In regards to your "1,2,3 thing, we found that it doesn't work with our daughter. She is 23 months old and knows when she is doing something wrong. We skip that and go straight to the "right that's it. A small tap on her bottom through her nappy and onto her lounge/fold out bed. When she hits the lounge she knows the game is over. We found the "1,2,3" thing was working in her favour because she thought it was a game and wanted to see what would happen when we got there (to the 1,2,3 thing) and not only that it was like she was watching us to see our reactions as we counted up/down the numbers. We find that if we cut to the chase she knows there is no mucking about. It has worked very well for us. GOOD LUCK :-}

Hi Abby,
I'm very knew to this. Could you let me know if there is a way of talking to the people that are online? I've looked but havn't been able to figure it out. I put it down to two things. Blonde and being a stay at home mum. smile

Hey! Being a blonde stay at home Mum is already a bonus!! Join the crew! I don't know if there is a way to chat online... It seems that all of our responses take time to be moderated and then they are placed on the screen. Emailing at home one on one is probably your best bet for a quick chat. Some networks allow you to see when a friend is online so you can link up while they are there! Anti-feminist but perhaps, ask your partner??
Seeya Jen!

Hi Kathryn,
I feel for you! It sounds like you really have your hands full? Do you get much support at home? If I could offer you some advice...? Perhaps start to make a BIG deal about this new bed! Talk about it ALL the time. "Now you are SUCH a BIG girl Mummy needs to get you a new bed, You're not a baby anymore, What kind of Quilt cover are we going to get? This is YOUR special bed and no-one can sleep in it but you...WOW!!!" Please DON"T start sleeping in with her, it is just another thing you will have to wean her from. I know you are trying to make the transition easy for her but children do respond to what you say and they DO believe a lot of what we convince them to believe. Take control, you are in charge and she will not feel hard done by or unloved. If you have adequate rest (which you need at this time) you have more to give and believe it or not, children LOVE boundaries, it brings security into their lives. They are not equipped or emotionally old enough to be in control. That is a role you have to assume. I know you will have a happy little girl when she is sleeping well and obedient. OH, she might kick up for a few days but when she realises you are in charge and mean business she will give in. It's not about breaking her will it's just guiding her in a positive direction. You are doing the hardest job in the world and I can tell that you love them both very much. Keep up the good work!! My boys are 16 months apart I can honestly say I have NEVER had a long term problem that could'nt be turned around with persistence on my behalf! And I AIN"T NO WONDER MUM!!

Hi Abby

I am a single mother of five in Invercargill NZ. Not far. I went through the same as you when my youngest was born, a 3 year gap, and it has been bedlam but we have slowly got there. If you are interested in swapping stories and having a good ole yabber, I would love to. BTW I am a mere 36 year old, certainly have many years of parenting behind me, I feel like more of a grandmother the ages I feel *groan* lol.

You can teach me at donn.i@clear.net.nz.

Luv Donna