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controlled crying???? Lock Rss

How do i start controlled crying??? Is it good??? Is it bad???
My girl is 20 mths old, I'm preg with no.2 and real sick (morning sickness). I work lots and I'm sick of pulling her into bed with us at 2am just to try and get enought sleep to work in the morning!
We have let her cry in her cot for about 30mins, she didn't even settle and tried to make herself throw up!
She will be 2 in August and that is my goal date to try and have her sleeping (Alone!) through the night. She still has a cot. Do you think a bed with rails might help?? Or is she too little??? (she's a climber!). Ta, Amy
Hello young mum,

Not long ago my 18month old was having a terrible time settling down by herself. I have tried controlled crying before, but it didn't work for me. I have found a program over the net which has worked miracles for us without having to leave her in her room crying and scared by herself. I was getting up to her up to 5 times a night and had to lie down with her, for her to get back to sleep. In desperation, I turned to the net and found a fantastic program which I had to download and pay for. It costs around $80, but $80 has become a priceless possession. The program is called 'sleep sense' and was created by a sleep expert. It takes a few months to really get the benefit out of it, but now our little girl is in bed by 7pm and sleeps till 6am, and can put herself back to sleep by herself or just needs us to go and say 'it's ok, go back to sleep occassionally once a night. She goes to sleep by herself now and we don't have to be there with her. If you need more info from me on how we made it work you can e-mail me after you have bought the program @ [email protected], and I would be more than happy to help. We didn't put her through the scarry crying it out method rather we gradually got her out of needing us there. There were lots of tears, however we know that it wasn't because she was scared, but rather just because it was a change in routine. I would be scarred too if I was a child and put in a dark room all bymyself suddenly after having my parents with me prior. Good luck

Andrea, baby and toddler

Hi There

My husband and I started controlled crying with our daughter Amy when she was about 5 months old. She is 13 months old now. It really worked for us, but you do have to be thick skinned to tolerate the long crying sessions. I must admit, the program worked fairly quickly for us, about a week. We started off going into her room after 4 mins, not talking to her, just patting her for about 10 -20 secs and leaving immediately. If they still cry, you wait 5 mins and so on until you get to ten minutes then start again at 4 mins. If you leave the room and they are quiet for a reasonable period of time then start crying again, then start again at 4 mins. Amy started sleeping from 7pm to 7am with no problem at all. Hope this is helpful.



I found a great DVD not only for controlled crying methods but also for settling children from birth up. I got it from child health services as a loan. The DVD is called 'It's time to sleep' I definitely recommend it.

Melitta,QLD, 15mth toddler

Hi Amy,

I just wanted to clear up that controlled crying is NOT a technique you can just "DO".

You really need to be taught how to do it. It's not just a method where you just "let your baby cry it out" or "10 minutes at a time" or anything, there's more to it than that.

If your child is having real trouble settling themselves you need proffessional help (this CAN be in the form of a DVD or book etc.). It's really important to follow through with a technique and not just "try it out" without getting proper instruction.

Don't get me wrong cc can seem a bit trying at first but the theories are good and worth it in the end ("The Nanny" uses similar techniques but her show is usually aimed at older children)

It's probably a good age to move to a bed with rails but make sure the cot is out of the house when you do it, get her involved in the whole exciting project. And don't forget to keep your night time routine exactly the same every night eg.


We had to control cry our daughter at 7 1/2 months. She had a dummy at that stage and was waking about 5 times a night. She was a shocking sleeper and I was absolutely exhausted. The crunch came one Friday night when all I seemed to do all night was walk into her room and flick the dummy back in her mouth. I knew that the dummy had to go and it would probably be difficult but quite frankly, I could not have been any more exhausted than I already was so a few more sleepless nights wasn't going to kill me! I got advice from a trusted friend and prepared myself for the night from hell. I threw her dummies in the bin so I wouldn't be tempted to use them again and the whole thing was a non-event! I briefly comforted her after 3 mins of crying, again after 5 mins, again after 10 mins and by about 12 mins she was asleep. She woke another 3 times during the night but put herself back to sleep within a few mins. We have not looked back since and she is now 17 months old. She still sometimes wakes a couple of times during the night and needs a quick cuddle but then she is fine. And of course, there are still some nights that are more feral than most, but that's life!! My one point of advice is be consistent. Once you decide to do something, you need to follow it through. There is no point in taking away the dummy, letting them cry for an hour and then giving it back. Its too traumatic for them and for you. Most times, they just need you to take control. It worked for us but I know it doesn't work for everyone. Whatever gets you thru the night I say!!
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