beginning to toilet train

I have started training my 2y old daughter who wants to wear pants, however, she is frightened of going to the potty. She knows when she wants to go and tells me however it is such a struggle to get her to use potty/ toilet. I have tried pull ups but she thinks they are a nappy and they cause more problems for me. I have tried songs, stories and games etc. I also watch my two nieces (4yrs & 2yrs) which makes it difficult. This is my first child and really don't know weather to put nappies back on her or keep persisting. She won't leave her nappies on anyway. She also waits until bedtime when i put a nappy on her to do a pooh. She tells me that she wants to use the potty but as she is doing her wee. Please any tips would be greatly appreciated.

Hi Dell, Have you thought about maybe buying a new potty but instead of you choosing it let your daughter choose it. The reason I suggest this is because my sisters youngest boy (2 1/2) hated the potty and toilet but thought it was pretty good to choose his own toilet and started using it nearly all the every time.

Hi there, you sound pretty frustrated, and I don’t blame you. Toilet training is harder for the mum than it is for the child. You’re the one left to clean up all the mess. My now 4year old did not successfully learn to use the toilet/potty until she was 31/2, and yet her sister has fully day trained herself at the age of 20 months. Go figure, same Mummy with the same parenting skills. Two main things are don’t stress about it because they pick up on the body language pretty fast, and be consistent with your method. Apparently it is quite normal for kiddies to want to continue to do a poo in their nappy well after they have learned about using the potty/toilet for wees. My daughter certainly was a classic example of this. If she is telling you in advance of her wee that she needs to go, that is a pretty big hurdle, and a sure sign that she is on her way to training herself with your help. Pull-Ups are designed for that transition phase between nappies and pants, so it could take her a little while to get used to the idea that she is in control of them, and can easily pull them down herself. They are a real lifesaver when you are in the supermarket queue, or at Aunty Dot’s house with the pristine carpet and they have to go NOW, they seem to be just as absorbent as a real nappy. Another good thing I remember about the Pull-Ups was you can tear the sides really easily to get them off after a particularly messy accident and it really fosters that feeling of independence for the little one. Is it possible for your daughter to have plenty of bare bum time at home as this worked really well for us? Somehow she seemed to get the idea that there was nothing to catch the flow if she was nudey, and naturally wanted to use the potty.
Here are a few final thoughts. You need to make sure you are both ready for this big step, be patient, remember you cannot give enough positive reinforcement, and finally at the end of the day keep in mind you don’t see any 10 year olds wearing nappies (they all get there in the end). Good luck.
P.S. You could try ringing Huggies (1800 028 334) they may be able to point you in the right direction.

My daughter is 2 and she's afraid of the potty aswell. I recently bought her a padded baby toilet seat ($14 from Big W), and she likes sitting on it. I have shown her how to use the toilet, so she knows what the toilet is for. When she first got the seat, I would leave her nappy off for a few hours a day, and take her to the toilet about every 20 minutes and ask if she needed to do a wee. I kept telling her that when she does a wee, we will buy her some 'big girls pants', which she was excited about. About 2 weeks later she used the toilet for the first time, and we rewarded her for it. Since then, I havent let her wear a nappy through the day. About every 10 minutes I remind her that she's not wearing a nappy, and she has to use the toilet. Most of the time, she makes it to the toilet, and when she does, she gets a small treat. If she doesnt, I let her know that she didnt do anything wrong, but she needs to use the toilet next time.

I hope everything works out with your daughter.

Thanks for the advice it really helped and now my daughter is progressing well, during the daytime at least. We have developed a star sticker chart system which seems to work really well because she is fascinated with the stars. It also really helps when other parents admit that they had trouble training their children. It made me take a step back and relax. My daughter has four cousins born the same year as her and they are all girls so i guess i did let some of their competitiveness stress me out and upset me. Your comment about 10 year olds and nappies hit the nail right on the head. I found once i relaxed she started using the potty and toilet.

Thanks for the tip i will keep it in mind if i see no improvment.

Hi. My 2 1/2yr old daughter loves sitting on the 'BIG TOILET' (she has a potty that can be put on to the toilet and have a stool) but lately she has been refusing to wear knickers or the pullups. She will happily do wees on the toilet (and then wipe herself until I'm afraid that she is going to hurt herself she wipes that much) but for the last week she has been having trouble with her poos. I have tried giving her prunes and other foods that are meant to help in that department but they dont seem to work. She will go through half a dozen nappies before she will finish one full poo.
Can anyone give me any tips for both of these hiccups that are bothering me?

Hi Marlou,

I have a 3yr old son that has suffered from constipation all his life. (just starting to improve now as he is getting older). Having tried high fibre food, prunes etc without success, I finally put him on 15mls Parachoc daily at my GPs suggestion. It was an instant success. From a child who would hold his poo for up to 5 days (with a great deal of pain) to a child who had daily poos, I couldn't believe the difference.

I know this may be more extreme than your daughters case, but Parachoc is available over the counter at your local chemist and the bowel doesn't grow dependent on it as happens with laxatives. Plus he seems to love the taste.

Maybe worth a try if all else fails.