Huggies Forum

Mother in laws Lock Rss

My mother in law is trying to push my 18month old boy to go to the toilet. I personally know that he is not ready for it, but she thinks she knows whats best as she raised 2 boys of her own. Does anyone else have problems with the inlaws trying to raise their children, and how do I politely tell her that this is my child and I will raise him my way, without hurting her feelings?
LOL, why are all mother-in-law's the same? They obviously feel it's their duty to interfere and piss us off (excuse the language). Anyway, my MIL is constantly trying to put in her 2cents worth and I simply tell her "We're not doing it that way", or "Yeah, we've tried that and it doesnt work". You might have to try and put her in her place just once and it may be enough to make her back off a little.

As for the toilet training issue, 18 months is quite young to start trying to toilet train .. especially a boy (as girls are generally easier). Back when their kids were young I think it was the done thing to train them so early for god knows what reason - It's easy for them to sit there and tell you to do it, but then they can get up an leave, leaving you with pee all over your carpet . Do abit of research on the internet and I'm sure you'll find every page says wait until they show most signs of readiness or else you're in for a looong ride. So, once you have some info under your belt .. go to good old MIL and tell her this is what you found and this is what you're going to try once he's ready, if she still continues to push it - get hubby to step in and give it a shot.

Anyway, this is hoow I've dealt with it - but for some it's not so easy to tell ppl to back off .. just give it a go and you'll feel much better for it.

Let us know how you go,

Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

I can sympathise with all of you.... my husband (an only child), daughter and I all live with my in-laws.... advantage being no rent (YAY!) and a permanent babysitter while we work as my MIL retired when Emily was born in 2002.

But it has more disadvantages in my point of view....

1. There is ALWAYS someone in the background to tell you when they think you are being too harsh with punishment or criticism.
2. When Emily doesn't listen to me, MIL steps in and repeats what I have just asked. I have asked her repeatedly that Emily has to learn to listen to me and not wait til she hears it from grandma to know what has been asked of her is to be obeyed. (Same goes with grandpa!)
2. The MIL always has a point of view as to how things should be done, and lets you know how she did things "back in her day".
3. Emily would run to grandma before coming to me when she needs/wants something or hurts herself. This is so frustrating!!!! It has only been in the past month or two that she has finally recognised me as her primary caregiver and approaches me first when she wants something.
4. Daddy is stuck in the middle when I tell him I am not happy with something that was said or done by his parents in terms of raising Emily... he wants to defend me but doesn't want to offend his parents!
5. "Family occasions" have now become a 4-adult, 1-child affair! I can count on one hand the number of times my husband and I have had family time with Emily by ourselves!

It doesn't help that my MIL is a recluse.... we live out of town on an acreage... she doesn't drive and won't use public transport! So Emily is stuck at home until weekends when I try to get her out of the house.

Just remind your MIL that she has had "her time" raising children, and yes, she probably did do a good job, or else you wouldn't be married to her son! But she has to be told that you need to do things your way and learn from trial and error. But let her know that she will be called on should the need arise for advice or assistance! This has worked for me so far, although there does still seem to be a fair bit of advice being thrown around at times! Just take it all in and keep doing things the way you want them!


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