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Toilet training nightmare!! Rss

Help! My eldest daughter started toilet training by herself when she turned 2. She instantly knew to go on the potty even for poos. She was great for several months then went backwards. It has now been 1 year of training and she is still no further advanced. She will do all her wees on the potty for a month or two, then wee everytime on the floor or wherever for the next month or so. It's a cycle we can't get out of. I've tried stickers, presents, chocolate, lollies etc. They work initally but after 4 days or so she does not care. She knows what to do and where to do it, I just don't understand why she does this. I'm exhausted with it all and am tearing my hear out! She does not want to wear nappies either.
I have the same problem with wees and my boy is now 5 years old. I would love to hear what people have to say. I have tried positive reenforcement, stickers, lollies, full on great toys, punishment and loss of privledges. The latest thing I have tried, which is the hardest to do, is not to react or get cross. I suspect that our reaction makes it worse. I don't really understand why. My son just seems to have no motivation to go. I am hoping that shcool and time will sort it out. When I get too stessed about it, I just put him in pull ups. I do worry that the whole situation will effect his self esteem. I have sent a similar question off tonight! Hope some older mothers have some answers.

Debbie, ACT, 2.5 and 5 y.o.

Hi Debbie, I'm Michelle. My mother once told me that when my brother (now 28), was 5, she honestly thought he would start school wearing nappies. She said I was a breeze to train, but for some reason he just wasn't interested in going to the toilet all the time. Apparently when he started school though it was as if he was completely trained overnight. I'm not sure whether having a sister 22mths younger than him (Me) and still in nappies when he started training was the initial setback for him, as I didn't have to make the transition that he did at the same time. But I do definately know he finally got the hang of it all when he started school and has never looked back. So hopefully you'll read this and be thankful that you aren't the first parents to go through this and you won't be the last. Sorry it doesn't help your problem but keep positive, your son will work it all out for himself when he goes to school and sees all of the other kids using the toilet.

Shell, NSW, 2yrs toddler and 7yr old (both girls).

When I started training my first daughter I forced her to do it and (I thought that it would work) but it made her worse and I had constant accidents. I found that when I made no big deal out of accidents and just cleaned them up saying "Oh well doesn't matter" and when she did make it to the toilet I would give her praises and it started to work and before I new it she was using the potty every time and we had very few accidents. My secound daughter I used this and it took her 2 months to be day trained and she is just 3 and I don't need to buy nappies any more. I don't know if this is any help because every child is different and responds differently. I think that when you try and make toddlers do any thing they become stubborn but when they think that they are doing it by them self it seems to work in everything I do with my youngest. (Don't get my wrong I don't let her walk all over me) Hope I could help.

Karen, 2 girls, 1 boy and 1 due edd 23.10.07

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