Disobedient

Hi, My 14 month old will not listen to me when I tell him no, He either keeps doing it or he spits at me any advice to make him learn would help

i don't know if you believe in it or not, but smack him!!!
Kids know how to treat another person by the age of 5 & they learn that from us. If you let him walk all over you & treat you like this now he'll continue to do it, because he can, & he will do it to others as he'll think it's ok as he does it to you. The question is do you want to have a respectful child? Because a child that respects someone doesn't spit at them. My son is 2 months younger than yrs & if he ever does that i'll be wopping his backside. I wouldn't take it from him or anyone elses child. Try calling the parents helpline as well they may suggest other avenuesw if you don't aggree with smacking.
But think about this.... how does a child learn not to slam his fingers in the cupboard doors?

Hi, I too would suggest smacking as dramatic or hard as that may sound. My son is a very active and very independent 1yo. He touches everything and anything from the t.v to the toilet!! Though I dont smack often, when I do, Khi seems to get the idea. 'No' means 'No.' Some suggest time out but if your baby is also very active I'm pretty sure you'll have trouble keeping him in a corner for 2 let alone 10 minutes. Have you tried calling the parents help line? They may offer alternative methods for you. If you do come across one that works for you I'd be really interested to hear. My email is karamel_01@hotmail.com. Hope to hear from you soon.

Hi there, I to beleive in a little smack on the hand or bottom if they dont or wont listen. He must of got the spitting at you from someone else as thats not very nice at all. Do you have a man around the house if you do does he listen to him or does he treat him the same way. As you must try and get a curb on this for shore other wise he will only get worse for you and you'll find it hard to go out any where with him acting up. Time out is another good way and or removing things that he loves to play with or watch on TV as they soon learn that if they behave a certain way they will expect to be punished from that and wont want to do it again. But it wont happen over night but strong perisstance from you will benfit in the long run.
Good Luck
Dianne SA

Try not to give too much attention, even negative, as this may be an attention seeking habit. Sometimes just saying no in a low voice (firm but calm) and turning away from him and ignoring him for a moment can help when it's not too serious. Otherwise time out in a pram or highchair with the harness on can work well. It doesn't need to be for long at such a young age, just a minute or 2 should be enough as he still has a fairly short term memory. Remember to stay as calm as you can and be consistent with the same consequences for his actions every time (where possible). Kids need to know where they stand and are happier in general when they know what is expected of them. Also try hard to give lots of attention when he is doing the right thing by telling him how well he's behaving occasionally when he's not acting up. Good luck, be calm.

Broni.

I agree! Nothing is wrong with a little smack now and then if a child needs it! Whe I was young and was naughty my mum and dad would always give me a smack and it didn't harm me in anyway! I give my children a smack if they need it and I am always getting comments by strangers about how well behaved my children are!! Of course you shouldn't belt the daylights out of them but a smack is a good thing!!

I don't think smaking works on kids at this age - they are still learning what is right and wrong, it's better used on 3-4 year olds when they Do know what they've done is wrong.
My daughter laughed at me when I told her No at that age, so instead I make a growling noise or pick her up take her away from whatevers causing the problem and sit her somewhere else. She crys when I do this, so is learning thats its not a good thing for her to do. If it's hitting me or some-one else, they need to learn it is not acceptable under any circumstances and you need to scoop them up and put them in their cot/room.
What ever you decide to do it MUST be consistant, if your always changing you method your child will never learn the boundrys.

Hi everyone
thanks so much for your advice it is great to know that there are so many mums out there willing to give advice to someone in need.
I have tried it and it works great THANK YOU
Jodie

Another idea...can you use a "time out" approach! My daughter is tough as nails, and i would virtually have to thump her to get any reaction! Threaten her to be put in her room and i get an instant reaction! Consistancy is very important too, which ever approach you choose.

Each child is different!

Tepe

I don't think smacking is a good idea at all - builds resentment and teaches that hitting is OK "if mum does it . . . "
Time out works, rewarding good behaviour, not giving treats after bad behaviour, saying 'no' and stopping them doing what they are doing wrong.
a good book for discipline without smacking or shouting is "how to talk to kids so they listen and listen to kids so they talk" has ideas for children of all ages.

I have an almost 2 year old boy and yes I smack him when he is naughty. The problem is he laughs at me and continues to do what I don't want him to do. I believe he understands what I am telling him not to do eg. throw his food onto the floor, but he is so pig-headed. Even yelling at him doesn't work most of the time. I don't like smacking him too much but it is getting to the point where I am fearful of taking him places in case he throws other people's things. My girlfriend has smacked her children and they are so well behaved so maybe I am doing something wrong - technique-wise. I love my son so much and want him to be obedient. Maybe something will click one day and he will discover that the world loves a lovely well mannered boy..... NOT!

put him in his cot without toys etc and shut the door and you go away