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Losing it!!!! Rss

I feel like I'm losing it when it comes to my 2yr old son. I'm 7mths pregnant with no 2 and I know my emotions/hormones are contributing to my lack of patience with him. For about a month my son has started hitting/slapping/pushing other children at playgroup and kindy gym and it seems to have come out of no where!
He's fine with my friends kids - but if another child was to enter the scene (which happened to me very recently) he's off - hitting and smacking and it doesn't matter how many times you say NO or smack he still keeps doing it!
I've had comments from other parents- such as
"hope your son left his aggression at home today!" and it's got to the point where I have had to get up and leave because at this stage of my pregnancy I can't physically keep up with him and get fed up very quickly!!
Has anyone else had a similar problem - I would be very grateful for any tips to get thru' this trying stage!!

Kate, NSW mum of 1 with 1 on the way

Haven't been there but probably will be in 6 months or so! My only suggestion would be to play hard ball. If you are at playgroup and he is aggressive give him a warning - tell him you'll go straight home. If he does it again, follow through with it. Hopefully after once or twice you won't have to leave ever again because he knows you mean business!
Katie it must be very hard for you at the moment. You do need to rest yourself and this wouldnt make it easy. My daughter is now two and is very bossy and loves to say No to everything. We also have a little boy in playgroup that hits other children. I have read somewhere that when children hit they are trying to connect with the other child (like, let me play with you) but they dont know how to express themselves another way. Then when they are told to stop, if they are into their terrible two stage, they will probably continue doing what you have told them not to do. I think as Kj had said you do need to make it clear that its not nice to hit and give a quick explanation why. Do you have any close friends or family with kids the same age. Maybe socialising in a smaller group would be easier for you and him right now. I hope it gets better for you.

Catrinna, VIC, 17mth baby

My son at the same age was doing the same thing, I too was pregnant and now we are a year down the track, my advice is to remind you that you are the boss. At this stage of your pregnancy your son knows something is going on, you look different, people may be treating you different, things around the house might be changing and he most likely doesn't like it. By driving you mad he is getting all your extra attention, even if it is smacking and screaming, you are focused on him at the time. Also I find 2 year olds are all about "me, me, me". I spoilt my son at time of the birth of my 2nd son, he used me to the ground. He refused to go to sleep unless I lay with him, I was getting 2 hours a sleep a night when the baby came. His jealousy was not with his brother but me. I tried everything in the nicest ways, but he just got worse, we couldn't go anywhere. In the end I had to turn the house into bootcamp, what I said was final, if he misbehaved anywhere, I picked him up and left. Left half full shopping trolleys, left playgroup as soon as he misbehaved, no second chances. It took 2 weeks and loads of tears, but once he realised he was missing out, he just got better and we are best friends again. Good luck, your son may just turn back into an angel after the birth of your second child, I've seen that happen too, but don't let him be in control of you, your mum and he needs to repect that.

Jo, Sydney mama of 2 boys

Hi Kate,
One way of dealing with the problem is applying a consequence when he starts behaving badly for example, you could make him sit next to you for a few minutes saying "you aren't keeping your hands and feet to yourself so you have to sit next to me quietly for 2 minutes". It is also useful if you explain the rules before play begins and the consequences. Also give him lots of praise and attention when he is playing nicely with other children.

Helen, Qld, mother of three

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