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temper tantrums - when will it end? Lock Rss

My daughter, now 18 months, is very strong willed, determined and easliy frustrated when she can't do something (like put the block into the shape sorter) or get her own way (play with the suncream with the lid off). I am sure we have hit the terrible twos as it feels like it is all the time. She responds well to 'no' if she is previouslty aware it is a no go zone, but if something new arises all hell breaks loose. I generally ignore and as much as possible I don't give in to it.

I just want to know how long does this go on for? Are there others out there with an extremely strong willed child? When did it start to get better? Perhaps if I can see a light at the end of the tunnel it will help me feel better about it in the meantime.
Hi kj,
Sophie is the same age and sounds exactly like your daughter! Anything new is a complete battle!! For instance - I am trying to conquer letting her walk into the shops with me (instead of me carrying her) at the moment as Im 7 mths pregnant and I wont be able to carry 2 children either, but she is soooo strong willed about taking off on me (or pulling stuff of shelves etc) probably more so as she feels "free". As soon as she does, I tell her no, have to chase her to the other end of the shop, then usually end up picking her up again (trying to juggle my purse, and the bread and milk). Of course, this starts a tantrum because Mum let me walk in, and now she's picking me up!! Same with getting into the car seat - if I let her walk back to the car, she wont let me put her in the car seat and bucks and goes stiff and puts on a real turn. All I want her to do is stay by my side and behave!! But I guess Im asking too much lol.

Sophie and Daniel's Mum - Tassie

Hi Kj, my daughter is now just over two. She did seem to have temper tantrums from around 18mths, but I'll tell you what, it is only preparing you for the terrible two's. Now she has started the "No" stage and being very bossy. I hope my advice is helpfull but I think the only thing you can really do is learn how to deal with it yourself in a calm and (hopefully) effective way, and just let her most of the time ride out the tantrums, because she is only trying to express some message to you in her own way. It depends on each child how long this stage lasts for. One of my friends has a daughter who is five and is having tantrum now about what clothes she wants to wear every single day. Good Luck, you're definately not alone.

Catrinna, VIC, 17mth baby

Hi kj,

my 16mth old is EXACTLY the same - frustration instantly if something doesn't fit straight away! I just say to her in a very calm voice, "there's no need to get frustrated, let's have another try, and mummy will help you". This works at the moment. She also chucks a wobbly, with foot stamping and hand shaking if she does not want me to hold her hand etc when walking. For this I just stop walking and stand still holding her hand and say "when you calm down we'll walk again" (again in a very calm voice), but my husband bought a hand leash for her today. I don't really want to use it, so I'll see if I can get away without it. Sorry I don't have any other advice for you. I'm sure we've got worse in store before it gets better!!

Kellie, mum to Emily 4yo, and Jack 21mths

my youngest is almost 18 mths and has tantrums when she doesnt get what she wants,but her father spoils her which doesnt help but,i have to say that this is just the begining i have and 5 yr old daughter and a 6 1/2 yr old son and the daughter still is a monster when things dont go her way,thankfully she is at school next year so i hope that will calm her down.i think with my eldest daughter she gets bored at home,she is mentally mature(a 40 yr old in a 5 yr old body)and needs to be doing something at least at school there's kids her own age and they do wishes yasmin


If you find out when they end can someone let me know?? :-S

Sharon, 24, Qld, 2 boys 3 & 5, girl 1.

My son will be two next month and he also started throwing tantrums at about 18mths. My mum just bought me a fantastic book called "I'm two years old!" - by me as told to Jerri Wolfe. It gives you a bit of an insight into why they are throwing the tantrums and how you can help them get through it. I hope it helps


yep, sorry to say it has only started at 18 months, I have a couple of good children's guide books by Robin Barker, apparently by the age of three the tantrums are not as much as a feature as they were at the start of the toddler period, BUT having said that toddler age is identified as from ages 18months to 3 years so in a nutshell you have to wait..... smile
My daughter is 3 next month, and we're still getting the tantrums, but they have calmed down a bit now she is more articulate.

She is another one that if a piece of the puzzle doesn't fit, she's get frustrated.

I make an extra effort to get her to explain to me why she is throwing a tantrum once she calms down a bit. When she starts to wind up for a paddy, I try and get in first and say eg. "Tell me why you don't want to go to school today" she's learning that if she doesn't have a good explaination then she has to do what I say.

Although, we went walking today and boy did she scream and perform everytime I held her hand crossing the road. She's so independent, she thinks she doesn't need to hold my hand. I've explained a million times why she has to hold my hand and she understands about cars and getting run over, but still, she thinks as long as she can see me, it's OK to cross the road.

Rere, NZ, mum of three

Hi Kj,
I find the best thing at the moment is to remain calm. I don't see the point in yelling at your child as this will only increase their frustration. I also ignore Emily if she squeals in frustration or whatever. Fortunately we haven't had any problems out in public yet, but I am sure these memorable but best forgotten moments are just around the corner!

Kellie L our daughters have the same name what is your Emily's birth date?

Amanda,VIC,mum to Emily 4 & Alyssa 20months

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