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  5. Does anyone else have a screaming match with there 20month old just about every meal time?

Does anyone else have a screaming match with there 20month old just about every meal time? Lock Rss

Hello, I am after any advice. Our meal times have turned into a battle of wills. It takes over an hour a meal as we just dont put up with his screaming and put him to bed to calm down. When he does we go get him and try again and again and again. It is so hard trying to get to work on time with this nonsense going on. Then lunch or dinner is just a repeat of the same screaming match. Sometimes once you can get a small amount of the food in his mouth he will eat it but then other times he just refuses and pushes it away or spits it at you. We have even tried giving him his dummy and pulling it out to feed him but he just bites down on it and wont let go. I have tried just giving up and letting him go without food but all that does is make him wake up early as he is hungry or he whines for other food like biscuits etc so he is hungry. I dont mind him having the other food but he has to eat his dinner first. This has been going on for weeks and we just do the same thing over and over. Sometimes he will calm down when I say do you want to go to bed and then other times he just doesnt seem to care. Tonight he has taught himself how to climb out of his cot so the putting him to bed as punishment is coming to an end. I have read to not offer anything else and to not get angry and just let them go hungry. I have even tried them but it all sounds great in theory but in reality it is so much harder. What are we doing wrong??? Please help us!!
Hi,I fully sympathise with you. I honestly don't think there is a wrong and right way to do it. I think alot of 2 yr olds like to test you and to try and let u know whos boss. I think if hes hungry he will eventually eat. They won't starve and if he looks like he is losing weight rapidly I would take him to the docs. Its a faze alot of 2 yr olds go thru(apparently).I have a 2 yr old myself,he had really bad reflux when he was little and now has a major concept with food. The only foods he will eat and have ever eaten are:toast and sandwiches with vegemite,lasagne,hot chips,2 min noodles and baby food.. He has never eaten a biscuit or a pkt of chips.He won't even try any new foods. He screams at the thought of having to eat them. Its really frustrating. I have taken my son to the doctor as I thought he maybe had a problem from the reflux but he doent seem to think so and has referred me onto a physchologist to help.I am waiting for an appt as they r pretty booked up.Tje clinic i was referred to is all about positive parenting and support,they teach u ways to deal with these situations and im hoping they can help,so there is help out there is u have a real concern .My son is a bit differnt to yours but the food issue is still there.. I'm prob not the best to give u advice but I have been told to not make a big deal out of the meal and eventually they come around. Its not going to b like this forever.I know it prob seems that way. ALso I have been told to just leave the food there on the table and see if they will eat it themselves.Or maybe try him feeding himself or give him a spoon to help u. Make his food look interesting.I cut my sons sandwiches in a star shape as i know he likes stars. I know its easy in theory but I guess u can only try. I also give my son a vitamin supplement so that i know hes getting something. SOrry I can't b of anymore help but I guess its good to know U arent the only one out there.. All the best..

Kylie,Qld,4yrold Thomas & 18mthold Brooklyn

Hello princess2baby, Thanks heaps for your suggestions. I have read in another post about the vitamin supplement. Where did you get it from? Caleb also had reflux but hasnt been on medication for this for ages. He doesnt seem to be loosing weight, he has always been a big boy. He is only 20 months and is 15 kilos!! I just feel sick in the stomach sending him off to day care without not eating or to bed for that matter. Its seems like punishment to me you know the old "you can go to bed without any dinner tonight" but he is the one dishing out the punishment. Thanks again for your reply and if you could let me know about the vitamins that would be really great. ciao
Hi,I know u feel guilty about him not eating.I'm the same. I spoke to a lady at a place called riverton clinic the other day and she gave me some advice. She said cut out all bottles and make him what u want him to eat.If he won't eat it leave it there for 30mins and if he won't eat it by then offer hima drink of milk in a cup.She also said if he cracks up a stink just ignore it and see if he will eat it himself. something,as . She said no juice. Just give them water and a milk drink after their meal,not b4.She said to just persist with every meal and dont give into to giving him the bottle.She said eventually he will eat as he will b hungry.And if he has a bottel at bedtime give hima cup of milk instead. ] I havent tried it yet as im in the process of moving house and its crazy at my house atm but i will. She said give it a week and if he doesnt give in or improve by then go see your local health child clinic.SOunds straight forward but who knows. I guess u can only try.Has your daycare offered u any advice at all??Also u can get the vitamin supplement from E pharmacy or i would say a chemist should stock it.The one i give my son is called Incremin.It doesnt taste real nice but it works. Your son sounds pretty healthy though at 15 kgs. My son is 2 yrs and weighs 14kgs. So u have nothing to worry about. I think if all else fails in time he will change and being at daycare and around other chilren will encourage him to eat as he will see them eating.. Best of luck!!

Kylie,Qld,4yrold Thomas & 18mthold Brooklyn

Hello princess2baby, thank you so much for this information! I have tried it and it does seem to have helped. Caleb has settled down heaps since I did this post. Dont get me wrong we still have our days but not like we did. Thanks heaps!

Just a thought....

My daughter is a good eater, but what she wants! Is there any way you could turn this whole eating thing around! It sounds like these bubs have got into a bad habit of hating food! Maybe, try totally new foods, create a picture with tomato sauce, a smiley face for eg.

My daughter barely eats any dinner, so each night i try something new, baked beans is next! She will eat only one thing at a time, so shall we say, she really has a 4 cousre dinner,

Goodluck, probably not much help,


DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

Hi Tepe, Thanks for the advice which I think you are spot on. What I have been also doing with Caleb is giving him a plate of different things (sort of like a buffet) and letting him choose what he wants. This seems to work. The other thing we did was my mums advice re food with flavour. She pointed out as they grow older they are trying all different tastes and flavours so when we try to offer them their boring "baby food" with no salt or taste etc they just turn their nose up at it. So we have been trying all different sort of foods with different tastes. I also saw in a book yesterday to use biscuit cutters to make great shapes for sandwiches and home made chips so I thought I will also give that a try. I thought that may make things a bit fun as well as they used animals shapes. I love the idea of the tomato sauce smiling face and will be trying that one out tonight. Good luck with the baked beans, my son is not a big fan of them or eggs. I have tried eggs boiled hard or soft, scrambled, fried, poached and even a lovely omelette (well I thought it was lovely it took me ages) and NUH. If you have any ideas on the eggs please let me know! Thanks again for your advice I really appreciate it.
Hi Janeen,

What you have said just shows again, how different all kids are!! If i give my daughter a plate with mixed food on it, guarenteed, she will only eat one thing! As mentioned, i have learnt, and give it to her in courses! She loves the "whats next", idea!

I wish you all the best with your fun ideas, they sound good, and i have them in my memory bank for No 2.

On the eggs, does your son like vegemite?? If so, maybe you could mash some in to some srambled egg after it is cooked! I reakon this would work for my kids, but they LOVE vegemite!

Once again, best of luck, (sorry about your omelette, been there with cooking), and hope to hear more soon!

Anymore egg ideas, and i will pass them on,


DD5, DS3, DS lost to SIDS at 6mths & DD6m

Hi there,

A lot has already been said at this post and I would like to add another point of view if that is okay...

Firstly meal times can't become a battle of wills between mother and toddler. It doesn't work, I guarentee your toddler will win everytime. You have to approach meal times calmly and in control of the situation. If your son gets a negative feeling everytime he is supposed to eat of course he wont co-operate.

My daughter 16 months very recently went through a stage of throwing every bit of food I offered her on the floor, it didn't matter what it was... so I would just let it go, with the theory she will eat when she is hungry. I changed our meal time routine completely and it has done wonders, now I can't keep the vegetables up to her. She eats BROCOLLI by the handfulls! I let her feed herself too. I put a selection of foods on her high chair tray and let her eat whatever she likes. As soon as she starts playing with her food or throwing it on the floor meal time is over.

All I am suggesting is try a different approach, change the routine, the types of food, maybe even the environment you are in. My daughter loves background noise when eating, so I try to have music of some sort playing.

Meals should be a pleasant experience.

Hi Again...

One thing I did forget to mention was when I changed my daughter's meals routine I started giving her a main meal in the middle of the day, so if come dinner time she was tired or being silly I didn't have to worry as chances are we got the meat and vege in at lunch time.

Goodluck, would love to hear how things are going smile

Hi Janeen,

Just reading you question about eggs....

I was reluctant to give my daughter, almost 16 months now egg as I was quite sure she would not eat it.

But the other day I was craving scrambled eggs, so made enough for 2 of us. To my surprise and delight my daughter loved it!

How I made me scrambled eggs... 3 eggs, a splash of milk, a pinch of pepper and a handful of tasty grated cheese. Mixed it up in a bowl and then cooked.

It probably hepls that my daughter LOVES cheese.

I've also found if she see's me eatung it, she is more inclined to give it a try.

Goodluck with the eggs... smile
Hi maddychelle. Thanks for the reply. I will retry the eggs. It would just make another meal idea for him if he would eat them. I have tried the look mummy is eating them but he just screws his nose up. The buffet thing seems to work and yes he does get some strange combinations but I just go for colour to try to temp him. Problem is I run out of ideas and at times it can end up being the same old boring food time and time again. I love the idea of the meat meal at lunch. He will eat ham, chicken and sausages so if he eats that for lunch then I know he is having a good meal once a day. Problem is he can not have any dairy or wheat so that limits things. He loves cheese but the only nice one I can find is a small piece of goats milk cheese that is nearly $8 and has to be eaten in 3 days. I tried a few soy ones but they are not very nice. He can also have goats milk yoghurt. I discovered So Good ice cream and soya custard which he also likes. So far so good for now I just have to keep coming up with idea so if you have any more please pass them on! Thanks again for your advice.
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