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Do i say something? Lock Rss

Hi my friend has a little boy 2yr 1/4. He doesnt talk. Ive only ever heard him say one or two words at most and the rest of the time all he does is squeel or scream. I feel like he has some sort of hearing problem because he wont follow any instructions. Do i say something or just mind my own business?

Jessica 01/02/04, Lily 05/12/06, Zoe 15/07/08

I would definately say something if you know something is wrong with his hearing. If you clap or call his name does he turn around? Does he acknowledge other sounds? Does he dance or clap his hands to music at all? Those would all be a tell tale sign of some sort of hearing loss and yes I think for the sake of the boy to bring it up with your friend.
Or even just ask her how talkative he is and you could probably get onto the topic that way.
I don't think it would upset her if you asked.
Good luck!

I would tread really really carefully here. How good of a friend is she? I use to watch one of my friends little girls and she showed signs of a learning problem. As I have been friends with mum for 15 years I did mention it to her. At the time she was very concerned and agreed with me. But over time I have seen less and less of her and no longer watch her little girl. This was two years ago and her little girl has only just been diagnosed with a mild form of autism. No one likes to hear their children are not developing perfectly even if its obvious to everyone else. Good luck.

Amanda NSW

Like the others use need to be really careful of saying anything,when I was working in child care, we had a little boy we suspected of hearing problems and autism and when the parents were approached about it they were very offended and took their son out of the centre.
A couple of things you can try though is while he is playing stand behind him and clap loudly, standing behind him use rattles etc on different sides to see if he responds, banging objects together.
As the others are saying tread carefully! The Mum may already be so stressed about it.... Maybe ask if the child ever follows instructions as you have seen some kids are really good and others just ignore it, if she thinks they have a prob she may then voice her worries.....

My DD is 19 months and only says about 4 words, she tends to ignore me half the time but I know she hears me cos if I say NO she gets a really dirty look on her face, also if bear in the Big Blue house is on, doesn't matter what room she is in cos she comes running! mmmmm maybe my child is just naughty!

Jilly, Qld, Mum to Amy 14/12/05 & Rebecca 20/7/07

No harm should come from tactfully asking why your friends little boy doesn't talk much. You could even make up some fake story of this person you heard bragging hour their 2 year old can say over 200 words and counts to 20 (or some-thing along those lines). Maybe you can approach it with that wild example as if to ask what is normal. At least then, you are providing opportunity for your friend to talk about her son, if she wants to. If she doesn't bring him into the conversation, probably best to drop it.

DD is 3yr 8 months - DS is 6 months

thanks for all the advice. i will let you know how i go.

Jessica 01/02/04, Lily 05/12/06, Zoe 15/07/08

My son is 2 next month and I was worried about his hearing and mentioned to doctors and health nurses and everyone said to me it was due to his premminess and that all was good. At 18months he only had about 10 words so took him to speech therapist and she suggested to go and get a referral to ENT specialist. We went to doc who was like maybe you should wait and see what his like at 2 but we left docs rooms with referral letter. Saw specialist on a Wed and was booked in for grommets the following Tues. Its been about 6 weeks since his grommets and he has 35 new words. Its amazing! He was a happy baby but now his happy and really interactive. For the childs wellbeing it would be good for him to see a speech therapist or even a specialist but tread carefully the mum may know that there is something wrong and not know what to do. My son never had major ear infections but there was just something wrong. He used to watch our mouths to understand what we were saying and the words he would say he'd leave the beginning syllables off so words like car, ta, etc all sounded like "ar". With glue ears they can't hear low frequencies clearly.

Good luck and I hope I've made sense.

Next time you are with them have a look closely at the relationship between mother and child. Is she enabling him in the sense that he points and uses grunts etc to get his point across? It could be that the mum isn't providing the words for the child, not intentionally but she just understands what the child wants.
Perhaps the child is not exposed enough to other children, to pick up "their" language.
We you personally speak to the child, and he wants something repeat it like, you would like a juice!

My DS is the same age and doesn't speak much, I am his official translater (even to his own dad lol ).
We at times get funny looks from other people, because I also taught my son sign. So he signs and babbles words. I just say to them he is bilingual and speaks both at once! (bilingual children take longer to speak because they are consuming 2 languages at once)

1 monkey, 1 diva = the love of my life

be careful how you say it. i can guarentee shes gonna take offence there is no nice way of saying it. how do i know because i was at the other end of it with my daughter. there is no way you can say it without hurting her, and if shes not ready to accept there is an issue you will not see her much ever again. it takes along time to accept there is an issue. good luck i guess.

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

the only thingI thought of you could say is "I bet he is not this quiet at home he probably does stop talking"and see waht she says

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

I agree! Sometimes kids with great language skills barely say anything when they're around other people or in other environments. This sounds like a really nice way of approaching the topic without offending your friend (especially if he is just a reluctant communicator)

Good Luck!


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