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misbehaviour at 2 Lock Rss

Hi Ladies, I am finding lately that my 2 yr old boy is misbehaving quite bad, Is it just the age or do i need to get some help, He is fighting his sleep, crys constantly while i am driving, sometimes screams, starting to hit his sisiter (who is 6) and if he doesnt get his own way plays up bad, i cant even take him shopping as it gets embarressing the way he caries on and have tantrums. my husband and i are finding it very hard as he allows us to do nothing together, and on family outings its alot of pressure and my husband and i end up having a argument about it as we are stressed. We love our child dearly, but life isnt easy at the moment, what makes it harder is that I am very tired as he does not sleep through the night which means i am up about 3 times throughout the night. Sometimes he is very hard to handle, but i am hoping things will just get better and hopefully its the age (The terrible 2's) My husband and I do have a great strong marriage but we do not have time for each other and i miss the closeness we once had, but I am exhausted with having no sleep and my son being a little terror, Is it just the age, does it get better, Please reply with your terrible 2`s stories or if your child has a behaviour problem, I would love to discuss it with you and share stories and mayby find an answer. I am starting to feel depressed, as i can not take him anywhere. Please help!!!!!!

Ren, Qld, 2yr boy

Hi Ren

My little girl is 2y & 4m she also is fighting her sleep, constantly wants me (also when driving i get mummy cuddles over and over - very distracting ; I can't even get in the shower without her standing outside whinging- although this is getting better) she throws things when she is really bad too. I had one bad incident at the supermarket where the tanturm last 20-30 mins started at supermarket finished 10 mins after we got home, the only thing the stopped her was 'time out'. I now try not to take her on a full shop (usually mum looks after her, or I go when she is with her father for visits). I agree it is a difficult age. I have slowly building up the time we spend at the shops after the last incident. This seems to be working. I also do time out with her, now I just have to say 'ok time out time' and usually she stops if not she goes for time out. That is usually in my bedroom. I find that time out usually works for Paige, if she won't go (decides that if I am a dead weight mum can't life me) I say I am going for time out. This also works. If she does start to throw things I usually ignore her and when she is finished i usually say 'Have you finished? she usually says yes then I make her pick up what she has thrown (eg. pencils and paper the other day). Then I sit her down and tell her that what she is doing is wrong and naughty. I am finding know that things are improving, don't lose heart things will get better just be consistent in your discipline.

Rachel, TAS (Paige 21/6/02)

Hi, my daughter turned 2 in October and I've found that time outs are quite effective. I do much the same as Rachel, in that if she throws a tantrum or starts throwing things .. I just ignore her (as they're looking for attention) and when she stops, say to her "are you finished?" and make her pick everything up etc. The 1..2..3 method has worked really well for me too. Once I get to 2, I give a warning "Stop now, or you're going to get a smack" .. by that stage she usually gives in, if not I smack on her hand, if she still persists .. time out in her room (at this age, it should only be for afew minutes as after that they'll forget why they're there). Then I'll go in there and say "are you sorry?", if she says "no" another 2 minutes in there (make sure you take the toys out of the room, otherwise they're not going to care if they go to their room). Another thing is to identify one thing they really love and will do anything for (a favourite toy etc), and use this as currency .. if they misbehave, they have to give it to mum and wont get it back until they behave properly. If it's something they're really attached to, this can be quite effective.

As for the shopping ventures, be prepared to drop everything and leave. Let him know if he continues, you're going home (even if your trolley's 1/2 full) - remove them from the situation.

Something I picked up on in your post was "my husband and i are finding it very hard as he allows us to do nothing together". He doesn't allow you?? He's 2 years old! I think it all comes down to the way you discipline them, and react to them. There's no way my daughter would be in control of any situation, they need to know who's boss.

Lastly, NEVER give in and give them what they're throwing a tantrum about, once you do ... they expect it every time. Also, you and your husband need to be unified when it comes to controlling his behaviour. Work out a plan of what you're going to do EVERY time he acts out, and stick to it. Firstly so he can predict the consequence with 100% accuracy ... and secondly so there's no more arguments infront of him about what to do (as he can see you disagreeing about it, and will play on it).

Hope this helps a little & let us know how u go,
JaidasMum24

Jaida (6), Ameli (2) & Lacey (2mths) - SA

In this day and age diet plays a big part in our childrens behaviour, but so many people are either unaware of it or turn a blind eye to it.

While the terrible twos, as its called, is common, it really does pay to check out their diets.

A great place to start for any parent is at this site.

http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/

My kids were to the point of being absolute little brats that noone wanted around until i became aware and then a big promotor of dietry reactions.

The first thing that you should to eliminate is the preservative 282 (and anti moulding agent commonly found in baked goods) smile


Good luck smile

Sharon, 24, Qld, 2 boys 3 & 5, girl 1.

You have a good point there, My sons diet is quite good, we eat alot of fruits and vegies and try to avoid the preservitives, but now that you have reminded me about this issue mayby there may be a few snack foods I might investigate and see exactly whats in them, you can never be quite sure!!!! I visited the web site you mentioned and couldnt believe how many bad preservitives there are, Its a worry, I can now see why they call it fed up with preservitives, What can they eat ? Ren : )



Ren, Qld, 2yr boy

Hi Sleepymum,
Your post was like reading my own mind. My son will be 2 in January and he is an absoloute terror. He yells and screams, pinches, throws thing and this is all while he is playing. The worst thing he does is bites. Of course I put him in straight into time out when he bites and he settles down then. I get so embarassed by his behaviour and I don't like taking him out anywhere. When we are at the shops and he throws a tantrum I have learnt to just strap him into his pram and hold my head up high and keep walking around and he eventually settles down. Almost everyone I know tells me to bite him back when he bites and I have and it hasn't stopped him. I have also been told that "it's just a stage" he is going through. But what if it isn't. I wonder when it will end. My husband and I also get exhausted and we argue with each other when he gets on our nerves. Most of my friends have got girls and during playdays with other kids I can't realx because I am constantly watching my son to make sure he isn't being cruel to anyone. He is even cruel to our dogs! My husband and I are both placid people so we don't know where he is getting all of this aggressive behavoiur from. Some days I don't even like my own son and there is no way I would have another bub while he is like this. I am at my wits end wondering what I am doing wrong to make my son into such a little monster. I am really strict about his diet but I think I will have to check out the effects of the various preservatives etc.

Karen,QLD12mthbub

Definatelty check it out rheidandmum. While a lot of snacks are advertised as healthy, they are forgetting the effects of preservatives.

http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/

Sharon, 24, Qld, 2 boys 3 & 5, girl 1.

Hi Rheidandmum, its not easy, but at least we are not alone, I dread going to the shops with him, its almost like I get anxiety. My husband and i are trying to be more patient with each other, we have a great marriage but sometimes we just get fed up because of the stress, also because of the lack of sleep we have as our son isnt a good sleeper at night either. I believe it has alot to do with the terrible 2,s aswell (the age ) as for the last week we have given our son totally preservitive free foods like, apples, banannas, fruits,carrott sticks, etc and there has been no change, but time will tell. I hope it changes soon as he is so demanding. Good luck, please let me know how you are getting on!!!!! Ren,

Ren, Qld, 2yr boy

Hi

I have a 3 year old who i feel is still going through the terrible 2's! It is getting to the point I jsut can't take him out because of his behaviour. He even plays rough / bites his 5 month old sister because he feels like it, that is what he tells us anyway. My husband and I spend most of our time trying to control him and don't get much time to with each other. I am to the point of not knowing what to do. The other day he got so bad that I just went for an hour and a half walk, or else I was going to loose it. I hate the way he behaves at the moment and am hoping it is just one of those stages. Lately he has also been nasty with his friends, something he normally never does. Had friends over the other day and he just wouldn't share his toys and would run the kids down with his bike, and when told 'no' he would jsut laugh and keep doing it. We send him to his room constantly when he is naughytly or misbehaving, but it seems to be pointless cause he just goes and plays with his toys in his room. We take his favourite toys away etc, but nothing seems to work. I can't say this is affecting his sleep though, am lucky I am guess. Though he doesn't like to go down at night, he only goes down when my husband and I go down, which makes it hard for my husband and I to sit down and spend time together. Is this just their way of testing how much patience mum and dad have, or just something all kids seem to go through, or is it to do with my parenting skills? So many questions and not enough answers......

Am sorry I can't help, but I am also at my wits end as to what to do or not to do.

Heather
Well, I guesse we will just have to hang in there, I refuse to go out with my friends with children as I know I wont be able to relax, I have tried that calm syrup from the chemist and that doesnt seem to work, I might give rescue remedy a go again, it worked better than the calm solution, I just hopes he grows out of it soon. Ren : )

Ren, Qld, 2yr boy

Hi all, I can relate to a lot of what you're going through. In my experience, terrible twos start around 18 months, and it's like they hit 2 and take it to a whole new level. At least that's what my daughter's done. It's the frustration of her knowing exactly what she's doing is wrong and yet still doing it. I know that consistency in discipline is the key, and it IS hard work. Whatever method is used, you have to stick to it 100% and mum and dad have to be totally united in this. We have days where she spends more periods of time in 'time out' than anywhere else, and then other days she's an absolute delight. Anyway, I think it takes a while, but they do grow out of it eventually. If they get loving consistent discipline, they will eventually settle. It's often strong willed children who are the worst at this stage, or the 'bright' ones.

Phillipa, Mum to Shawna 2 1/2yrs

Hi Bright spark,

I just wanted to thankyou for your excellent advice and referring me to the food additives web site. My husband and I thought the site was great and we started off with what we thought would be the most simple additive that our son was having alot of and eliminated it. WELLA! Our son has improved out of sight, he is calmer and he seems so much happier - even his poos have improved! We are so happy with the results and we are willing to eliminate other additives and look for alternatives if we think he might be getting out of control in the future. For anyone else out there reading with a terrible toddler log onto to

http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/ .

I hope it helps. Have a great christmas.

Karen,QLD12mthbub

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