any one wishing to talk about emotional side of cesears

Hi Stacey,

I understand what your going through with having to have a c-sect, and people brushing you off like you had a painfree birth.
Some perception for those mothers, who think its painfree. I had my first son natural and I got up after I had him, had a shower, went to see him and pretty much left a day after. I was sore, no doubt, but I could walk.
My second I was booked in for a c-sect, I was petrified, he had stopped growing at 34 wks. Whilst I was waiting I had a placental abruption and was rushed in for an emergency. My biggest ever saddness (that makes no sense, but it hurts), was that I never got to recall his first day in this world. I felt like a failure than and there. What made me a mum, was that I got myself up the next day and for the next 5 days I walked back and forth from the SCN to see him. I hurt like hell, I split back open because I pushed myself,but I made it work.

To this day i still cry about it and my next fear is that this baby will be a c-sect too.

I really see where your coming from but remember if you are the best mum you can be, than you will never be a failure. Goodluck and I'm sorry for the ramble.

No offence to anyone but I see having a c-section and giving birth vaginally as BOTH being natural. My dd (2.5 yrs) was an emergency c-section after 16.5 hours of labour. I did not see it as a failure on my part and had no trouble bonding with her. As far as I was concerned it was the safest way for her to be delivered and that was what was important - a healthy baby! During my labour I was given an epidural and had no problems with that or the recovery.

My DS (15months) was booked in for an elective c-section however decided to come a week before that so was born naturally - he was in a rush and I didn't even have time for an epidural (I'm a big sook when it comes to pain - give me drugs;) ) Again I had a healthy baby and was able to bond with him without any problems.

With this baby (13 weeks pregnant) we'll be trying for a vaginal birth but if I have to have a c-section again then so be it. As far as I'm concerned its still giving birth and as long as I have a healthy baby then whatever happens is fine.

I don't understand this perception that somehow having a c-section is not natural or normal, that a woman has failed, or will not bond with her baby. We go through 9 months with the hope and intention of giving birth to a healthy child - how its born is irrelevant, what's important is that the child IS born.

Jennifer

Hi Stacey,

I have a slightly different perspective here...

I was actually born by c-section and I always grew up feeling SO proud of my mother for going through that for me. I never once thought that she failed or that she didn't do what nature intended. I saw it as her going through major surgery and a long recovery just for me. I felt so special!

My sister needed an emergency c-section with her 1st and 2nd and planned with her 3rd. They all feel the same as I did as a child. They think they're really special and that their mum made a big sacrifice just for them.

I needed an emergency c-section with my son; he was simply too big to fit and my labour was just going on and on and on. I never once felt guilty.

One of my friends came in to see me after the birth and she asked "So you got the easy way out huh?! Lucky you!". Then she stood there, gobsmacked, while the midwives came to help me stand up for the first time after the surgery. They helped me walk to the shower, explaining that "I know it hurts. You've been sliced in half so it's going to take a while before you can walk comfortably or shower or dress yourself."

One midwife took me to the shower and washed me while the other made my bed. The one making my bed told my friend that a c-section recovery is the same as someone recovering from a high speed car accident who was sliced across the abdomen with a piece of sharp metal... my friend never referred to it as "the easy way out" ever again!

What you have done for your children isn't a failure. It's a wonderful, beautiful, selfless thing. You created those children; you nourished them; you loved them; YOU brought them into the world safely. You went though major abdominal surgery to give them life! Be proud!

Motherhood has NOTHING to do with the birth itself. It's what you do for that child throughout their lives that counts.