Lack of sex drive

I have just had my 1st baby. during the birth i got a 3rd degree tear along with other little tears. And i'v had surgery since to help with pain etc.
But now i think just out of self preservation i really don't want to have sex.
Has this happened to anyone else - if so when do you get over it?

My baby is 3 1/2 months. I had a forcep delivery and received internal stitches. I had a sex drive when she ws first born, I think this was just to see what it would feel like. After discovering it felt different and that I was not as relaxed, I have lost my sex drive. My husband and I have a very close relationship, I think (or hope!!) over time I will get my sex drive back.

I have have 1 year old and my sex drive is still out there driving around yet to return. It is rather frustrating for both myself and my husband, as I know you will both understand. I think part of the reason I have lack of sex drive is I am still breastfeeding (which I love) and after having my sweet little boy feed I just want my body for me for awhile. The other interesting thing is we all seem to have had a bit of a trumatic occurance during the birh, mine was placental abruption resulting in an emegency ceserean. I guess what I am saying is maybe it is Self Preservation. How do you husbands handle the situation. Mine is reasonablly understand but has the occasional tantrum. When this happens I try to explain that I still love him and find him extremely attrative but my body is just saying no.

I had a great 10hour labour and only tore a little but my sex drive is lost too my partner hunts for it every day but wont find it for a while i suspect maybe when I get more than 3 hours sleep at a time. But when you breastfeed you produce a hormone called prolactin which helps you and the baby bond as well as let down reflexes but also interfers in your sex drive too. I found at the end of the day when youve had your baby on you all day the last thing I wanted was someone else trying to hang off me too. My partner gets frustrated and thinks its because I dont find him attractive thats not got anything to do with it.

G'day! I had a 9.5 hour labour and a 4.5 hour labour and tore a littel with both! I couldn't breastfed real well so both my kids have mostly been bottlefed! My sex drive has never returned since my first child just over 3 years ago! I went to the doctor but she kept on saying your poor husband and that! I know that my husband found it hard but so did I! She made me feel I didn't care but I really did and it was constantly on my mind!! My second bub is now 3 months and I still don't enjoy or feel like sex but still have it just so my husband is taken care of! He feels too that I don't find him attractive but I do and love him so much! I wish that there was some way or reversing my feelings towards having sex as I constantly feel guilty for not fulfilling my husbands desires! Anyone who could help us please let us know!! I am desparate for a way to fix this!!

Well I didn't have a vaginal delivery but I was so tight that I hurt for a few (6?) weeks when we did get together. I wanted to have sex but it hurt, so we did it a lot less often. Why don't you get told this in advance?
My hubby finds it really encouraging when I do feel like it (even though not as often), if I initiate it rather than agree with his suggestion. Give it a go, they feel "on hold" because of a little baby and its hard to understand that!

i got mine back very soon but last year i was extremely sick spending 3 months in hospital so its disappreaed again.

Hi everyone,
I was very sick when I had my daughter, so my poor partner missed out on sex for a long time, we just did other things, like give him body massage's involving his WHOLE body, use what ever you both agree on, weather it be oil, jelly, cream (the eating type) body chocolate, or what ever you can find to use. Also try just giving him oral sex or use your hands only.
If you do this for a little while he still gets his pleasure and love but you get to repair from child birth.
After a little while of doing this you will start to like the idea of going further with him, start slowly and work up to full sex.
Pressure is a big thing for women when it comes to sex, he may not be pressuring you but inside you are sore and the last thing you want to do is have sex, but if you do other things to him, you will slowly see the sex drive creep back in.
If you not too shy visit a sex shop together and find things your partner likes and help his needs whilst still meeting yours. There is lots of things you can do for him without having sex all the time.
Good luck all.
Hope this helps a little.
Mandy.

i have not tried it but thinking of byuing it its a lubricant called sensua available from lifeglow.com.au. the testimonials were good that i saw on the tv