C Section/natural

I am a mother of 2 boys & iam expecting another baby in April 04. I have had 2 C Sections & dont know if the next is going to be or not i dont know how to feel about the birth as if i do end up having natural i dont know what to expect.
But i dont know how to feel about anything lately as im not sure if i even want this baby part of me says no the other is excited why do i feel like this?.
Sometimes i kind of feel like this is my first baby but of course its not, i have had the opertunaty to watch a natural birth & it was scary but its just as bad with a c section because i go out cold when i have them i wake up 2 a nurse trying to put the baby on my breast i dont now why they dont wait until im ready?

Hi,
Congratulations on your pregnancy! You are the only one who will know what will work best for you. I can understand that what you are experiencing is a fear of the unknown. Try not to worry and enjoy your pregnancy as much as you can, it is such a precious time. I would recommend preparing a birth plan. One in case of a c-section & one for the case of a vaginal delivery. Mark in it your wishes for when breast-feeding is to commence if at all and similar wishes. This way you will not need to worry about people trying to be pushy against your wishes.
Good luck!