Well, Thursday went as well as can be expected! Bodie did show up (10 mins late) but at least he was there. He sat down a few seats away from us in the waiting room, & Aidan just stared at him, and smiled at him (as he does with everyone). He kept looking up at me though, as if he was asking me who that person was (as Bodie & I had exchanged pleasantries).
The test itself was ok - we all got our blood taken. I caught Bodie studying Aidan a few times, as if he was looking for a resemblance, and if you put him & Aidan side by side, the resemblance is uncanny. It was pretty gruelling - we both just wanted to get out of there. Aidan was pretty good with the test, but they didn't have the air-con on, and it got really really hot in the room, then Aidan got really upset (a combo of hunger & heat I think).
Bodie wouldn't even look me in the eye, & didn't say much to me at all. But it was v.civil, & the whole meeting was better than I expected. Bodie shot out of there when it was all over, like his life depended on it. My mum & one of my sisters were waiting for me in the car park and saw him come out. Mum (who has a fabulous eye for things being a detective) instantly spotted the resemblance as soon as she saw Bodie leaving. My sister saw it too. They have no doubt about it now that they have seen him, & Mum also said that he looked a little guilty; he was pretty nervous the whole time we were in there. I think as soon as he saw Aidan, he would have seen himself in him instantly, & realised what the results would no doubt tell us.
I was nervous as hell about seeing Bodie again; the whole thing has brought up feelings I thought I didn't have anymore. I felt really sad afterwards, not just for Aidan, but for me & Bodie as well. I never really "grieved" over Bodie, so I have never had any closure. So I left the lab feeling a bit low.
I'm hoping once the results come through I will get the chance to sit down with him & talk to him about Aidan. I know he's not going to immediately agree to see Aidan & be his dad, but I am hoping he will agree to maybe visiting monthly. I have always promised him that we would take this slowly, & because his parents want to be involved, it might make things a little more relaxed too.
Even though I know what the results will say, I'm still really nervous!!
Well, I'll keep you all posted. We should have the results within a couple of weeks (hopefully!!??) Wish us luck!!!
Hope all is well with you all!!!
Love Ambs xxxx
PS: Tanith my friend, how are you? How are your plans going for this month? Hope all goes well with the Grandies. Will be thinking of you. smile
Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)