If he refuses to be a father now, maybe he doesn't want to be a father at all??

Hi Amber,
I've just been reading your story. What a big mission to go thru! I separated from Maya's dad when she was 3 mthsold and took him to court for custody and child support. Luckily he had signed the birth cert - I made him do it before I brought her home from the hospital.
We went thru the whole process of baillifs and affidavits etc. which is really unnerving considering that I did actually love Willie at one point in time and we had made this baby together!
It was heartbreaking when he didn't turn up to the hearing. He didn't take it seriously at all, and the judge was very unimpressed. He awarded me sole custody, and, as Willie wasn't there to contest it, he has been given supervised access only at a place and time specified by me. It's all very cold and legal and final, but a huge sense of relief to know that he can't come and take my baby away from me.
On the bright side, he has been sober for 8 mths now and has been regularly visiting his daughter which is great, and Maya loves it!
Stay strong, you sound like you have your head screwed on properly and are determined to do the right thing for Aidan. He's a lucky boy to have such a caring and dedicated Mum. He will appreciate you as he ges older, and he will eventually realise for himself that his dad is a loser!

Hi Amber and Aidan smile
How did things go on Thursday??? Did Bodie show up this time? I really hope he did and that it went well for you!!!
Emilys dad came round last weekend to see her and it was rather strange! I'm glad he made the effort but emily didnt want a bar of him! I suppose coz she doesnt have a clue who he is! I suppose i will be waiting another few months for the next visit!!
hope you are both well smile

Hi everyone,
Well, Thursday went as well as can be expected! Bodie did show up (10 mins late) but at least he was there. He sat down a few seats away from us in the waiting room, & Aidan just stared at him, and smiled at him (as he does with everyone). He kept looking up at me though, as if he was asking me who that person was (as Bodie & I had exchanged pleasantries).
The test itself was ok - we all got our blood taken. I caught Bodie studying Aidan a few times, as if he was looking for a resemblance, and if you put him & Aidan side by side, the resemblance is uncanny. It was pretty gruelling - we both just wanted to get out of there. Aidan was pretty good with the test, but they didn't have the air-con on, and it got really really hot in the room, then Aidan got really upset (a combo of hunger & heat I think).
Bodie wouldn't even look me in the eye, & didn't say much to me at all. But it was v.civil, & the whole meeting was better than I expected. Bodie shot out of there when it was all over, like his life depended on it. My mum & one of my sisters were waiting for me in the car park and saw him come out. Mum (who has a fabulous eye for things being a detective) instantly spotted the resemblance as soon as she saw Bodie leaving. My sister saw it too. They have no doubt about it now that they have seen him, & Mum also said that he looked a little guilty; he was pretty nervous the whole time we were in there. I think as soon as he saw Aidan, he would have seen himself in him instantly, & realised what the results would no doubt tell us.
I was nervous as hell about seeing Bodie again; the whole thing has brought up feelings I thought I didn't have anymore. I felt really sad afterwards, not just for Aidan, but for me & Bodie as well. I never really "grieved" over Bodie, so I have never had any closure. So I left the lab feeling a bit low.
I'm hoping once the results come through I will get the chance to sit down with him & talk to him about Aidan. I know he's not going to immediately agree to see Aidan & be his dad, but I am hoping he will agree to maybe visiting monthly. I have always promised him that we would take this slowly, & because his parents want to be involved, it might make things a little more relaxed too.
Even though I know what the results will say, I'm still really nervous!!
Well, I'll keep you all posted. We should have the results within a couple of weeks (hopefully!!??) Wish us luck!!!

Hope all is well with you all!!!

Love Ambs xxxx

PS: Tanith my friend, how are you? How are your plans going for this month? Hope all goes well with the Grandies. Will be thinking of you. smile

Good Luck (not that you need it!)

It's been 11 days now and I'm really, really, really hoping the results come through this week.
Wednesday will be interesting, because I have to go and see my case manager at social welfare, and if you remember, my ex's mum works there too. I'll take Aidan over to say hello, on the way out, but if we still don't have the results, might make it hard for all of us.
Grrrrrr .... hate the waiting part!!!!
But I'm cool!! Have had plenty of people to see, and plenty to do. Hope you are all keeping well!!!!

Love Ambs xx smile

Someone upstairs is looking after me ...
Social Welfare rung me yesterday afternoon, and told me that my Case Manager was going to be away today, and couldn't see me, so we have rescheduled for next Friday afternoon!! Will make things so much easier!! We'll no doubt have the results back by then.
Still nothing by the way ... tongue

Can you tell I'm not a good waiter?? Thank goodness it's been a busy week!!!

Hope all is well with you my friends!!

Love Ambs xxx smile

Shouldn't be long now...

Aidan is getting close to saying his first word ... Looks like Bodie will be that very first word. I'm just sad that he's not around to hear it with me. sad

Aidan's been saying "dadadadada" for the last few days now. I'm trying to get him to say "mama" because at least he has a face to put to the name, but I'm getting "dadadadada" too. Aidan thinks "Mama" is a funny word and giggles when I repeat it too him. Oh well!! God loves a tryer!! smile

It's very exciting nonetheless!! I am a very proud "dadadada" (Mama) hehehe & maybe one day very soon, Bodie will be here to hear Aidan say it too.

Fingers crossed for this week. I think my floors need scrubbing!!!!

Love Ambs xxxx

Nope, no news yet ....

BUT, today, Aidan said his very first word. "Dada".
Am v.v.proud of him, but again, I'm a little sad that Bodie isn't around to hear it. I do think though, that my ex would be chuffed about that though, just quietly, even though he probably wouldn't admit it just yet!!

Am working on "Mama" now, but get laughed at. Oh well, "dada" is music to my ears!! Aidan is definitely practising it well!!!

Hope all is well with you all!!!

Love Ambs xx smile

Congrats Aidan!

Congratulations!!
Its so cute when they start talking aye! emilys first was dada too! i dont know where she got that from!!
hope you get your results soon! they sure are making you wait aye!!
give aidan a cuddle and congrats from me and emily!

I KNOW!!!! The waiting is a real pain. I want to get on with the rest of the legal stuff, so we can all get on with things. "Patience is a virtue" as my nana says!
I'm not sure where Aidan picked "Dada" up from either, but I don't mind at all. "Mama" can't be too far off!!! Just enjoying the fact that he's starting to talk!!! Yay!!! So exciting!!!