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  5. If he refuses to be a father now, maybe he doesn't want to be a father at all??

If he refuses to be a father now, maybe he doesn't want to be a father at all?? Lock Rss

Hi Sheree,
Thanks for the advice. I'm really sorry about your situation. It sucks huh?? I gave up on Aidan's father a long time ago, and although I know he may very well show interest in Aidan when he's older, I'm wary he'll do exactly what you're ex has done. My ex has another son, who is 18 mths older than Aidan, and he won't visit him either. It's really sad, but it's his loss. Both us girls haven't met and neither have Aidan and his half-brother, but I know they will meet one day.
I don't think I would have got by without the support of my dear family and friends either. That means more to me than they will ever know. At the moment, my ex's family is keeping their distance seeing as my ex and I have a paternity issue to sort out in the Family Court now, but once that is all sorted, they are more than happy to have Aidan become a part of their family. My ex's mum has been very kind, and I esp.understand her situation too, but at the end of the day, she just wants her grandson back, with or without her son. I've told her I don't want my ex involved at all as long as he has his current attitude. She has told me that my ex may come round when Aidan is older, which would be wonderful, but I would be absolutely devastated, like you, if he bonded with Aidan, then left again. Kids are so hurt so easily, and I know we can't protect them from it sometimes, but, I guess all we can do is be there for them with lots of love and hugs. You sound like you're doing a great job with your little girl, and by the looks of it you'll be due again soon, so all the best of luck with you new addition. If you ever want to chat, my email is amber_clarke27@hotmail.com
I hope all goes well with your new baby!!!
Take care,
Ambs smile


Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

Hi Ambs,
I hope I was too morbid for you.. I definately didn't mean to be.
My daughter (Taneisha) would have suffered a lot more if it wasn't for the relationship she's built with my Fiancee over the last 2 yrs - at least she knows someone wants her!
I am due again - any day now (today wold be good!)
It's agreat thing you have the support of your x's family and that they want to be a part of his life. My ex's family won't even acknowledge my daughter - evn when her Father was seeig her (h had to hide that from them) My daughter and I have literally run into her other grandmother down town and she walks away like we are complte strangers. Bt like you said, it's there loss. My life has only been made better by my daughter and they're missing out on that.
Hope allworks out for you.
My emal is: shereemas@dodo.com.au
Take care,

Sheree, mum to 2 plus 1 on the way (dd 31-5-06)

Hey!
Well, I feel a lot better about things ... I got in touch with my ex's mum and explained why I didn't visit her while I was in at her work, and also to let her know about the paternity case. I got the feeling my ex hadn't told her about it (surprise surprise ... )!!! Well,
She was happy I got in touch, and said that once that everything is sorted, they will be more than happy to have Aidan be a part of their family. I promised to keep in touch so I can let her know how things are going, and I also gave her the address of Aidan's webpage, so they can see his photos and see how he's doing. My ex's mum still isn't actively involved at present, but i can understand why. The sooner this is all sorted, the sooner they can have their grandson back.
Hope all is well with you all,
Love Ambs smile

Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

Well, today was the day.
I've signed the papers. My ex will be served by a baliff sometime next week. My lawyer is hopeful that all this will only take a couple of months at the most.
I read the letter that my ex wrote to my lawyer, and it was no where near as bad as I thought!! It pretty much mirrored what I've said, although my ex stated in his letter that he does believe there is a 50% chance that he is the father. Better than the 0% acknowledgement I had before!
I've had bad dreams about this; but walking out of the lawyer's office, I knew I'd done the right thing for Aidan.
It's all go. I feel kind of freaked out, nervous, relieved, happy, sad, exhausted all at the same time!! And I can't blame it on the hormones wink

I'm going to have a good long shower, and a lovely long sleep. (Once I put Aidan to sleep of course)!!

Ambs xxx smile


Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

Hi Amber

I just read your story,and wanted to tell you how strong I think you are,and that you are doing the right thing! Good Luck!

Marti, NSW, Baby Boy born on 17th July 2003

CONGRATS!!!
I completely understand the mix of emotions and you'll probably doubt your decision from time to time.. but just try and remember you're doing the right thing.
Keep your head up... you're doing an excellent job and you're one hell of a strong person!
Take care,

Sheree, mum to 2 plus 1 on the way (dd 31-5-06)

Hi Amber!

How are you and little Aidan?? hope things are going well with you both smile

Hows things going with Aidans dad? I heard from emilys dad the other day but he didnt mention coming to visit her! I've told him to pull his head in though so hopefully he will soon!!

Hi Amanda!
How are you and Emily going? Aidan is doing great, as beautiful as ever. He's developing a bit of a mischievious streak now, so have had to be firmer with him. "Tough love" isn't just tough on the kids, it's tough on the parents too!! But it's either that, or he'll play me like a violin!! Hehehe
Well, all that has happened since I signed the paternity action is that the judge has said that the Family Court will review the case on the 06th of September if nothing has progressed. So I'm playing a bit of a waiting game to see what my ex is going to do; whether he will just agree to get the tests done, or if he will file a defense and drag this out even more. My lawyer & I are hopeful that we'll be having the tests done. My lawyer said it very rarely gets to the court room, and he's quite confident that it will be all over within a month or so. I hope so, because frankly I'm sick & tired of all the fighting, and I want to be able to move on from my ex. Plus, his family are waiting to see their grandson too. It's been hard on everyone involved, not just me. We'll all be a lot happier when it's all over.
So, other than that, I'm keeping busy, becoming quite the domestic goddess .... even baking a cake for the first time in 7 years!!! (And it turned out great)!! Hated eating it all up because I was so proud!! Oh well, might bake another one tomorrow!! Some one has to eat them!!! wink

I'll keep you posted smile

Love Ambs xxx

Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

Hi!

we are both good thanks! emily is as energetic as ever so shes keeping me on my toes! I've gone back to university to start my postgrad so finding the time to do any study is nearly impossible! (i have to do it when shes in bed at bout 10pm!!)

i'm sure things will be sorted with you soon!!!!
Sorry emily managed to press a button so it posted before i had finished! It sounds as though you have a very good lawyer who is looking after you both! I'm sure you cant wait so Aidan can start seeing his other family!

It's funny how having a child suddenly makes us domesticated aye! i have found that too! i never knew i could clean the way i can! i havent yet mastered the art of baking! i dont think i will put everyone through that!

i'm going to take emily for a walk to see the ducks, its such a beautiful day here!

have a great day!
Hey!
Well, the phone call that I've been waiting for has come. My lawyers rang this morning to say that my ex had rung them yesterday. He has said "yes" to the blood tests - finally!!!! I was so relieved, and v.pleased! Better late than never. The lawyers have advised us to take the tests together, just so that they can be sure it's my ex doing the tests, and not someone else. I agreed to it as long as my ex was ok with it, thinking he would want to go along on his own, and not wanting to see Aidan.
But he surprised me ... he's happy to go with me on Monday to get the testing done, which means Bodie will get to meet his son for the first time.
I'm not really sure what to expect, but I'm hoping it will be the first small step towards a reconciliation. I'm a little nervous about seeing him again, as it's been so long. Hopefully, it wil all be nice & civil, as once things are confirmed, I guess Bodie & I have some sorting out to do ... plus I still intend to apply for full custody of Aidan. But, I just need to get through the next couple of weeks first before I start thinking too far ahead. Just little one little baby step at a time!!
I'll let you all know how it goes on Monday!! Fingers crossed for a good first meeting.

Love Ambs xxx smile

Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

Still no tests done yet!
Why? Well, he didn't show up!!
I turned up at the appointed time on Monday, and half an hour later Bodie still hadn't appeared. So the lab rang him at work, and he was apparently "tied up" and wouldn't becoming!! So much for letting us know! And the lady at the lab said he didn't seem to sound like he had genuinely forgotten the appt ... he was v.blase about it.
He has Thursday off work, so he said he can make it then. I talked to my lawyer on Tuesday and told them what happened, and they rang Bodie to see what the story was, and of course, he was MOST apologetic about standing me up. He has promised to turn up on Thursday, because after the lawyer told him off he was told if there is another no show on Thursday, the court will force him to do it. So he has promised us he will be there ... but my lawyers are going to ring him in the morning to make sure he does.
So, it's all happening tomorrow now, so again, wish us luck for a good meeting. I really do hope it goes well; I'm tired of being angry at Bodie, and I hope this is a good start to becoming civil again. I'll let you all know how we go tomorrow.

Love Ambs xxxx smile

Ambs, Mummy to Aidan (born March 04)

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