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  5. do you think 20 is an acceptable age to have a child?

do you think 20 is an acceptable age to have a child? Lock Rss

Im 18, soon to be 19 and my partner is 29. He and i do want to have kids. We have thought about it and the end of this year would be a good time, so when i had the child i would be 20. We currently have a house, and all that we need etc but i am just wanting to know how hard it is to have a child at a young age, i understand that i wouldnt be the youngest woman ever to have a child. And i know that we would both love the child beyond anyones comprehension, but my family is very against children being born to young mothers. I dont think that 20 would be to young and i think that it would be an acceptible age. i just want to know whether you think it is acceptable, cos that is the only thing that is nagging on my mind. so Please help!!!

Ashleigh 19,SA

If you feel emotionally ready and financially stable then it sounds like a fine time to have a child smile

My hubby and I are both 26 and have less than 6 weeks to go. We wanted to wait until we bought a house and we moved in and were pregnant 8 months later smile

I don't think anyone can tell you when is the best time. If you and your partner think it feels right then it probably is.

Good luck


Steph VIC Mummy to one gorgeous boy

i dont think anything matters as long as you love your child unconditionlly. my daughter was 4 months old at my 21st. i think 20 is a good age. i think parents who are 45 and over and having children is silly. specially when they are over 50 thats really silly. i think 20 is a great age.!!!

Narelle, Eilish 5th june 2002 TTC since dec 2002

Hi ashleigh, I put off having children for a few reasons finding the right guy, not being set up financially, wanting to travel, being selfish. In the end I met my husband when I was 29 we were married when I was 32. We went overseas for our honeymoon, came home built a house and one year later fell pregnant. That was just the way it worked out. When I was 20 I use to think 23 would be a good age to have child. Then when I was 23 I thought maybe 25. Then when I was 25 I thought maybe 27 - 28 and the years just flew by. No I am not financially secure but we get by. I do however have a happy marriage and we are a family. What I am trying to say if you wait for when you are ready - when will that be. How do you define "ready". All my friends had their children around your age so they are now having a great time with their kids grown up around 15 years old so pretty independant. Their kids come and go like all teenagers and want to be with their friends. I on the other hand have just had a child so I am just starting. I admit on days I feel very old and dont have the energy I would have had at 20 and wish I had started earlier.
If you are happy with your life and your partner is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and you know he will make a great father, then that is all that really matters. The rest will always work out. Dont worry what other people think.
hi well i got pregnant when i was 18 and had my daughter after i turned 19 i am now 20 and my daughter is 9 1/2months old and i wouldnt change it for anything i am glad i have had her young cause i am very fit and healthy and i think i would get to tired if i was alot older if you feel you are ready go for it.
Hi ashleigh

I too was 20 when my daughter was born and it has been a wonderful expierence, she wasnt planned but I wouldnt change her for the world, I am glad I had her at 20 as we want to have more children and then at least by the time we are in our 40s we will still be young enough to enjoy life after the kids have left home.
My parents we shocked at first but once you have the child you wont be able to keep them away.

Go for it if you think you are ready, after all it is your life and you sound like your in a loving relationship.

2 little darlings 29/01/03 + 17/03/05

Hi, I don't think anybody should make or influence that decision except you and your husban. My daughter turned 2 about two weeks after I turned 20. Yes, it's been hard, and I've had to deal with a lot of people who didn't appreove of a 17 year old being pregnant (not planned!) But my daughter is nearly six, and I am almost 24. I think it's fantastic being a young parent, and I'll only be 36 when she turns 18, so I still have my whole lifwe ahead of me!

Take Care
Well im 20 now and i have already got two children.......... and having my third now (due in September)

I was 16 when i had my first.........
then i was 17 when i had number two...........
now im 20 with number three............

being young has helped more i think then being older........... the only hardness was the onlookers the judgers,,,,, if you look young they'll treat you young... but they dont know you...SO WHO CARES:)smile and as for the family, that is something everyone should care about... my family wasnt down for it either........ but are loving every second with my children and child too come.....

im engaged with a nice house 2 nice cars a full time job and career,,,, but its my children that make me a millionare.......

If your husband and you are ready then THUMBS UP TO YOU BOTH..... the family will accept and dont worry about others...

Hi Ashleigh,

I was 23 when I had my first & Hubby was 30. My Mum had me when she was 20. I think it's good to have kids young, you're fit and healthy and you can do alot more with them when they are growing up. You also need to consider your Partners age depending on when you plan to retire etc - do you still want your kids living at home with you when either of you're 50 or 60?
Just do what you both feel is right, once you're pregnant or your child is born, your parents may completely change their minds, they'll be as proud as ever!

Kristina, Mum of James 3yrs & Matilda 14 months

Ashleigh, I think if you're ready (and it sounds like you both are), go for it! You know, everyone's an expert and we all say different things smile

I'm 21 now, 21 and 1 month when my baby was born. I don't think I was too young and I certainly don't regret it now. I too am married, bought a house, etc.

The only concern I would have is, its not easy having a baby (although it's easier on your body when you're young, I think that's meant to be) and my mother-in-law really helped by coming and helping with housework etc. If your family is not supportive, will they do this? If not, look at home help for the first month and make sure you have good friend support for the tough days.

All the best!
HI Ashleigh,
I was 21 and 1month when I had my daughter. She wasn't planned and I was a single mum as her Dad wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy from the time I told him.
I can't even say it was a hard time. I had fantastic support - even though my closest family member was over 2hours away - and this is something you must have. I wouldn't change anything even if I could.
Like the others said - only you know when you're ready to have a child. Just because your family don't think it's right, doesn't mean it isn't right for you.
Give yourself the chance to enjoy your children while you and your partner are both young enough too.
All the best!

Sheree, mum to 2 plus 1 on the way (dd 31-5-06)

Hi Ashleigh

I am 19 and my partner is 22 and we are expecting our first child together. We have been together for 2 years and we knew that it was the right time and when i fell pregnant i was so happy but also scared. My mum had me at 18 which is considered young but when i told her that i was pregnant she was very happy and told me that she can't wait to be a grandmother. Alot of people think that it is unacceptable to have children young but you decide because it is your life not anyone else's. Good luck

Amy,QLD, mum to 1

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