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  5. What should I tell my daughter in preperation for birth

What should I tell my daughter in preperation for birth Rss

My by then 4 year old daughter is going to be present for our 3rd child's birth. I have slowly started easing her into the idea of what might happen. Any suggestions or ideas of what I should or should not mention???

Am not sure whether we will attempt a water birth or not but I would think with a water birth she would probably see much less.
Thanks ladies. I love that show to but never thought of watching it with her.
That's a good idea!

I'm not planning on having a homebirth, but DS is very interested in exactly how the baby gets out.
I have talked to him about it and told him, but it's not good enough for him tongue

I have actually been trying to find photos that are appropriate to show him. It's very hard to find photos that show what's going on without showing EVERYTHING!

"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do."

We didn't plan a homebirth but I had a quick labour in the past so I wanted to prepare my daughter incase it happened quickly again. She was also almost 4. We just kept it really simple and answered any question she had truthfully and factually. also explained that mummy would make lots of noise when having the baby and it was loud because mummys body was working very hard to get the baby out.
She was very interested in the whole pregnancy and birth process so she got lots of info whenever she asked any questions. A few times I was inwardly cringing when explaining something but its really like water off a ducks back for them, they are so young and really don't seem fazed by any of the details. I just made sure there was no emotion attached to the explanations- just very factual. Good luck with the birth smile

Apologies for my replies, hope they make sense. I am usually typing one handed or interrupted halfway through wink

I found this article which may or may not be handy:

How can I prepare my older child for witnessing his sibling's birth?

A child of any age will need some preparation for this experience. No matter how wonderful it can be to watch a baby being born, it can also be very frightening for a child to see his mother in pain.

These suggestions may help:

Discuss the mechanics of labor with your child. Read books and watch videos on childbirth together. Explain to your child that there will be blood, and that you'll be making unfamiliar, possibly alarming, sounds.

Assign one adult to care exclusively for your child during the birth. Choose someone with whom your child has a positive relationship and feels comfortable talking. That person can take him out of the room when he's uncomfortable, bring him meals, and watch how he's doing. This adult will need to pay close attention to your child's cues. If your child is uncomfortable and shows signs of wanting to leave, this support person must follow his or her lead.

If the hospital or birthing center has a "family room" separate from the birthing room, encourage your child and his support person to use it to play, watch TV, or read. This will give your child the option of coming and going when he wants. Make it clear that it's okay to go into the delivery room after the baby is born.
If you have a younger child, consider inviting him into the delivery room only for the actual moment of birth.

Asking a young child to endure his mom's entire labor could be very hard on him.
Feel free to change your own mind about having your child at the birth. You may decide that you feel uncomfortable having him present, that it makes you feel self-conscious or unfocused.
After delivery, when you've recovered sufficiently, discuss the birth with your child. Ask for his impressions of the experience, and try to address any lingering fears or concerns he may have.

Keep in mind that childbirth is an incredibly powerful experience and that no matter how well you prepare your child, or how old or mature he is, it could still be traumatic for him. One young woman, who at age 21 attended the birth of her brother, says: "It's a raw moment between parent and child. I don't know if most children are prepared to see their mothers in such a vulnerable position. During the delivery I felt weak in the knees, embarrassed to see my mother in such a primal state. Yet when my brother was born, it was like witnessing a miracle."
Hope and Hysteria wrote:
If he really wants to know EXACTLY what happens, then maybe it's OK to show him photos that show everything (anatomically that is), and at least that would answer his questions and satisfy the curiosity. Maybe hold back on the traumatising details like the blood and the poo though!
I remember as a child getting raaaather frustrated when my parents would fob me off with inadequate answers to questions and leave things like this all mysterious and secret. Then I would find out from a book or whatever and then wonder why couldn't my parents have told me in the first place!?

Oh yeah, I don't mind him seeing some vagina in the photo, but the only ones I could find were either before the baby was even crowning (and I don't think it necessary for him to see just vagina), or quite graphic, bloody ones.

I actually finally managed to find some that showed what happens without being too bloody or 'scary' looking:
I just showed him from the 11th photo where you could clearly see the head to when the mum was holding the baby. He actually said to me 'I wish I could have seen where the arms and legs came out'. Later on we were talking and he said 'thank you so much for showing me the pictures of the baby coming out mum!'

"Parenting is the easiest thing in the world to have an opinion about, but the hardest thing in the world to do."

will show my daughter the same pictures thanks.
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