Elective Caesareans

I am interested in what makes people opt for an elective caesarean? I had my baby 5 weeks ago, by caesarean, after 20 hours of labour. The reason for caesarean was because he was facing my back, and tried to turn during labour, and got stuck. After screaming in labour that I would never have another child, I have already changed my mind ( not for awhile though! ), and I am already scared of that pain again - but scared of the pain that I had AFTER the caesarean. What sort of options do people look at when choosing an elective caesarean?

Hi Marti, This is one subject you should not get me started on!!! I had to have a caesarean due to my baby going breech at 36 weeks. I also developed Gestational Diabetes so I knew I could have a big baby. This was NOT what I wanted at all. I even learnt special pregnancy yoga to help with the labour and my breathing. Mind you I used to travel 1 and half hours each way every Saturday morning just to do this! On the day of my caesarean a last minute scan was done just in case he had moved, but no. I was so upset about having to have a caesarean I only told a few people. On the day I was lieing in bed waiting for the nurses to take me away all gowned up for surgery when the phone near my bed rang. My husband answered and would you believe it was a person who thought they should ring the hospital on the off chance I was there as they had not heard from me in a few days. She asked what stage I was at so I told her I am on my why to surgery for a caesarean. Would you believe she actually asked me if I was excited. I dont know about you but having my stomach cut open is not up there for me for excitment. My father in law said I was lucky to miss out on all the pain!! and would you believe a co worker said " as least you will still have a tight one" ................think about. I was stuck in bed unable to even dress myself with my husband learning how to feed, change, dress, bath and even how to wrap baby in a bunny rug. He had to show me a few days later. The pain of trying to go to the toilet is something I will never forget. I had to learn how to get in and out of bed. I had to get out of bed like this for weeks. I had to have help to undress and to dress. I couldnt even put my undies on myself. THEN I got home. Our bed was too high so my first night home I slept on the lounge with the baby in its bassinette beside me. I couldnt bath him myself unless it was in the sink. I couldnt lift the pram. I couldnt walk very far or if I did the pain about 1 hour later was unbelievable. I couldnt even go shopping so when I developed cracked nipples and thrush(from the catheter) my husband had to go by himself to the chemist to get creams. He even had to buy big undies for me to wear. I drove about 3 weeks after and I only got down the road and had to come back. I was still wearing my maternity clothes as I couldnt wear anything too tight.
Then you get all the comments from women who had vaginal births. I had one lady at a wedding who was very happy to talk and talk about babies until she found out I had a caesarean and all she could say was " SO you didnt labour at all" I tried to explain but it was useless. She moved to another table and avoided me for the rest of the night. Then you read articles on how women are electing to do this and how it is so much better as it fits into their life and I have to ask HOW THE HELL CAN YOU SAY THAT!!!!! To me a Caesarean was a right pain in the arse, a huge inconvenience, down right painful and spoilt my experience. Now if I have another baby I have the factor of scar rupture and my uterus not contracting so I will be monitered very closely. As you can see I get very angry when the media portrays us as taking the easy way out! The general conception to most people is we are all tarred with this brush and we are all put in the same basket. If you want an elective caesarean that is your business but please please please dont put every women who has a caesarean in the category.

I totally agree with everything you have said!! Everyone thinks that women who have caesareans are taking the easy way out - but they don't take into account the suffering we have afterwards. I don't even remember my first night with my son - as my caesarean was performed at 11.30pm. I felt so disappointed - as I went through 20 hours of labour before having to have an emergency caesar. I couldn't look after my baby, I couldn't even lay comfortably! I had all the same problems as you - my partner had to be shown how to do everything and then show me later. I was in a hospital with very unhelpful nurses, so nighttime was murder, it was hard enough for me to drag myself out of that bed, let alone carry my baby!

Hi Marti,
I hope everything has now settled down with your baby and that you are well on your way.
I had an elective caesarean for a couple of reasons, which are quite personal and something I wish not to go into. However, after Ella was born my Obstertican told my husband she would not have been born naturally anyway as she was facing the wrong way round.
I must admit the day after the c-section was painful, but bearable, the idea of going to the toilet was worse than the actual event and getting dressed was something I learnt to deal with. I had decided long ago that the pain of a c-section was something you had to make yourself deal with and the morning after when I got out of bed for the first time I took a deep breath and stood as tall as I could.
My sister-in-law had natural births for both babies and after the second one, which actually tore her to shreds vowed she would never see her daughter endure what she went through. My brother and her went without an intimate relationship for over 6 months whilst she healed.
Maybe I have a high tolerance of pain, I don't know but all I was concerned about was the health of my child, not which was she came out.
I also think alot of the pain afterwards comes back to the person who actually done the c-section, my doctor did a wonderful job and I fully believe he helped my recovery be alot smoother.
And to be honest, the next one will be born the same way as Ella

Hi mums,

Thanks for sharing your stories, just when i thought birth was bad, now i appreciate what others go thru!

Thanks again

hey all. some people cant really escape wanting caesareans, my sister is one of them, she has two sons, the first was delivered by emergency caesarean as he was breech, and the second she was determined to have naturally and her doctor litterally stuffed it up for her, he was late for other surgery so he gave her a forceps delivery when she wasn't even 7cms dialated, her sons are now 10 and 7 and she and her hubby are planning to have another baby and she is weighing up the pros and cons but elective caesarean looks like how she'll go, even though she doesn't want to, but natural delivery terrifys her and can you really blame her??
she ended up suing that doctor and so did alot of other women, turns out he was a butcher to many and no longer practices and he went bankrupt.
caesareans aren't the easy way out but sometimes its as if there is no other way.
i really really hope my labour goes well, but when it comes down to it, as long as my baby and i are safe it'll all be worth it.

Well, thats how I feel. I went thru 20 hours of labour, b4 having my caesarean, and I am scared about the next time. I don't want 2 elect 2 have a caesarean, but then I don't want 2 go thru 20 hours of abour again, just 2 end up having one. I think that was something that really disappointed me - I went thru all that - and then ended up having a caesarean anyway. I wonder if next time, I am just better booking in 4 a caesar?

Hiya girls

I just found out tonight that i will more than likely be having a Csection next week as bubs is laying sideways and facing the wrong way.

I totally agree that this is not the easy way out and cried all the way home from the drs smile I'm not too upset about it though it was just a shock.

Really i guess i'm happy however it comes out just so long as it is healthy

I'll keep you all posted

Steph

Good luck Steph,

I had a caesarean with my first and may need to have one with my second. Hope it goes as well as mine did as I wasn't in a lot of pain and back to normal by the time I went home from hospital. My stay in hospital was the same as if I had given birth naturally and I wasn't taking any pain medication after 3 days.

I'm sure it will be fine, the best thing is to make sure that both you and bubs are healthy.

Let us know how you get on.

Yvette

Hello Stephanie, I know exactly how you feel. It is such a shock. Just keep reminding yourself in a few weeks you will be able to meet the gorgeous little person you created. Try to get as much rest until the day and let us know how you went when you have the time.

Hi guys

I'm feeling a lot better about it today. My chiro has suggested accupunture to help turn the baby but I really don't have a good feeling about it.

Does that seem wrong? Should I be trying to do all I can to have a natural birth? In my heart I feel like its time to just let the baby and the dr decide.

But then I feel like I'm giving up???

Steph

Hi Stephanie I had exactly the same thoughts as you. I too was advised to try acupuncture to turn my baby. I tried the exercises but not the acupuncture. I have heard of a few success stories with acupuncture.
When I found out I had gestational diabetes I was really upset. I just got use to that idea when the breech news came. I didnt try acupuncture as I just couldnt handle any further disappointments. Sometimes I wish I did try it. I guess I had just had enough and wanted the baby out as well. I was just too tired and gave up. The main thing for me was I just couldnt handle any further disappointments but then I felt disappointed by the caesarean. A catch 22 really. It is something you have to decide, what is best for you and your baby. Good luck!