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Surname Trouble Rss

hi all

im having trouble with my DF at the moment about what last name we are to give our child, and we dont have long to argue, and i need opinions.

you see when i had my firs daughter i was so certain i was going to be with her father 4eva i gaveher his last name and it has caused nothing but depression ever since. ie she didnt feel like mine at first. i know it sounds really really weird but i just wish all the time i had of at least hyphonated it.

now with the arrival of my second approaching, and i plan to marry as we ar actually engaged, i still dont want to make the same mistake as we have had a really rocky relationship, and dont want to fall backinto the depression i felt if it al goes belly up again, but my DF is cut that i want to hyphonate instead of just his name

i hope that makes sense and i would really love it if anyone else in this predicament could help me out

manda smile xx

ps i know itsjust a name but it means a great deal to me especially when i look at my medicare card etc.

DD may 03, DS oct 06

hey sweet .. .

i think i no wot ur feeling sorta ....

i am expecting a lil boy n as im not with his father still wanted him ta carry tht name howeva ive cum ta realise tht bubs shood hav my name.. he will go without his fathers coz we dnt hear frm him id otherwise hav it hyphoned as thts just wot i prefer ...

sorry im not being much help here.. lol chin up all will be good hyphonate da name i can tell it means alot ... in da future if im ta b married ill b hyphonating my own name n tht way will hav name of all children Xx tc
I agree with the other ladies about the hyphen BUT you do have the issue of your first daughter's name and that has set a precedence as far as your partner is concerned.
Look into the possiblity of hyphenating your eldest's name as well- she is still young so will not have an identity crisis. This will then show your partner that his child is as important as your first( he may not say this but may FEEL it if this child does not get its father's name like your first) and for you it should help resolve your issues with the names of both of your children.
Names can be very personal to some so do what you can to keep family harmony and to keep things "equal"- make your first move one to hyphenate your daughter's name( explain to her father if you are still on good speaking terms, it is to help her feel more part of your family and to make it easier when she goes to school)then it should be easier to do the same with the second child.
Best of Luck

lib+3

When I got married to my ex-husband, I kept my last name and when we had Lilly we hyphonaited it so she was Lilly Greene-Trew (Greene is my husbands name and Trew is my name.)

With the twins because my husband and I were split up I decided to give the twins my name and not hyphonate it, like I did with Lilly.

Because he cheated on me, I feel he has no right to be in the twins last name, I am thinking of changing Lilly's last name. What do you think? Should I change Lilly's name?

I would hyphonate the name or just use your name.

Alice

Lilly,6/ Paige,14mnths & my angel Maddy-SIDS

hi

i know actually where you are comimg from. i have two daughters who have their fathers last name but after lots and lots of stressing!

as i am the last child in my family with my surname this was a huge dilema. the thing that made a my decision was after we had heard that if they were in my name and we finally got married, that to change their last name, he would have to adopt them even though they are his biological kids. i dont know how much truth is in it or where we heard but he now has choice, marry me before our oldest goes to school or they go back into my name - bit of a scare tactick!

go with mothers instinct - its always right!

sonya, crestmead, 2 girls 23/6/04 & 12/5/06 and 1

I'm not married to my partner and I have given my son his surname. I've never had to be faced by what you are feeling with your eldest, but the decision I made came down to me thinking, "Well no matter what happens he will always be his dad" and if cirumstances ever changed and I was with someone else I would leave it up to him about wether he wanted to change it or not. This idea may not work for you but it helped me make the decision.
Hope I've been helpful anyway:)

Bek, Nsw, Baby Seth - 22/12/05

When I found out that I was pregnant I had already decided that our daughter was going to both our surnames and it keep us both happy and other people told us that we shouldnt have done that but it was your choice and I think if you want your child to have your surname than go for it.

Tracey,Jaye (girl)12/06/05, Sam (boy)10/07/09

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