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Last names Rss

I brought up with DP last night about the possibility of using both our last names for this bub. He was totally against it! Said it's a stupid idea. I told him it was unfair to not let me decide if it's what I want for our child. He just automaticlly assumed it would have his name. I know that is what alot of people do, but I also know of alot who give the child both names. I think my biggest reason for wanting to do it this way is I already have a DD who has only her fathers name, and I really regret not using both for her. If this bub has only his dads name, then I will have 2 kids, both with different names to me and to eachother. Is it unreasonable for me to want to use mine aswell? Should he get the final say, or is it something that I should get to decide? It has just really annoyed me that he flat out said it can't have mine if that's what I decided I wanted sad

I brought up with DP last night about the possibility of using both our last names for this bub. He was totally against it! Said it's a stupid idea. I told him it was unfair to not let me decide if it's what I want for our child. He just automaticlly assumed it would have his name. I know that is what alot of people do, but I also know of alot who give the child both names. I think my biggest reason for wanting to do it this way is I already have a DD who has only her fathers name, and I really regret not using both for her. If this bub has only his dads name, then I will have 2 kids, both with different names to me and to eachother. Is it unreasonable for me to want to use mine aswell? Should he get the final say, or is it something that I should get to decide? It has just really annoyed me that he flat out said it can't have mine if that's what I decided I wanted sad


hey i think you have every right to be upset. me and my partner are fighting over baby names and even middle names! LOL i think you should sit down and have a talk if you want this badly he should respect you and your child to let you have both. otherwise try and compromise with your last name as babys middle name?? i wouldnt give it.. if you want both last names you should be able to have it. YOUR THE ONE GOING THROUGH 9 MONTHS OF PREGNANCY AND PUSHING THE THING OUT. he should give you a break smile xx good luck
My DD has a double barreled surname (mine then his)We fought over it. I really wanted it as my Fathers name (he died 3 years ago) dies out with my brother and I (I have never changed my name)All my fathers relatives never had children that survived to carry on the name so I know back 4 generations that it will not carry on whereas My husband has 3 brothers, 2 of which have children to carry on the name. We comprimised by me not bringing beef to the household (he is Hindu) and us having a shortlist of 5 first names which we both liked and him getting final say on that. He knew how important it was to me, as I really wanted to honour my Dad. I even considered just registering the name I wanted. As per the paperwork all he can do is register his disapproval of the name. Thankfully it didn't come to that. I hope it works out for you. DH argued it sounded stupid and noone does it, I countered with 6 people we know that have done it.

With my first daughter I gave her both grandparents last names but not hyphenated. Then I changed my last name because I didn't like it. Luckily my older sister had changed her name completely so I took hers and my daughter had that one as a middle name.
With my son he has my new name as I think his fathers last name was stupid and he doesn't have any contact with his father so why pass on a name of someone you don't like? We are currently changing my daughters name so that she will also have my new name as her last name. Only person left with a stupid last name is DH and that's his choice.
Names are identities and can always be changed. If you don't like something about yourself you change it, so why not your name?
Boys are always territorial about labels etc, so stupid. A mates parents had a boy and a girl the boy got the fathers last name and the girl got the mothers last name. Either way fight for what you want and tell your DP to stop trying to control it. Compromise where you can and where you can't make sure you win the battle. Like it has been said you carried it, you birthed it, you name it.
Hopping of soap box now tongue
ds has my surname as his father left me when i told him i was preg, and i couldnt pronounce his surname anyways.

dd has her fathers, but i wish she had mine too, least both the kids would have the same name, then i could change it when dp and i got married and change ds as well. stick to your guns with it if its something u really want, or u will regret it forever.

My DD has my surname as her 2nd middle name (IYKWIM?). Even though DH and I are married, I've never taken his surname, but it was still really important for me that DD have my surname somehow too. So that was our compromise smile People initially commented that her name (4 names in total - 1st name, 2 middle names, 1 surname) was too long, but in the end, I don't give a toss what they think! lol smile We are happy with our decision smile Best of luck!

I had peers at school with hyphinated sir names and i never thought anything of it, i just seen it as purely a normal sir name.. one was Calton-Smith and another Wilson-Quinn so honestly if you feel strongly about it you must pursue with it.. this baby comes from your family aswell and it broke me heart not to have my babies have my sir name but both sir names of myself and DH are sooo long so it just wouldn't have worked in that situation!!
I got to sample it in hospital with my kids because their rule is the babies had to have their mothers name while in the hospital and as I had never changed mine (why should I?) I registered as a hyphenated version of both our names so the IL's would be able to find me and not have a nervous breakdown over THEIR grandkids having my name...

I hated the hyphenated version, but do like others. My advice try it out and then decide.

You can of course lodge the birth certificate anyway you want - you have 8 weeks after the baby is born.
Hi there, if this is something that is important to you I wouldn't be backing down. . .but that may be because I'm stubborn tongue I had this discussion with DP and agreed if we had a boy he would have DPs surname to "carry on the name" and if we had a girl she would have my surname. . .DD now has my surname. I just believe that until we are married there is no assumption that the children would have his surname it is an even field. However, if/when we do get married I will be changing my surname and our childrens' surnames to his so we all have the same if that makes sense?
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