I believe for your own sanity that controlled crying is the way to go to break this habit. You may find it a little harsh to have her crying but with perseverence and hard work in the short term you should be able to get some long term benefits.
Our eldest went through a period of fighting sleep at night so we basically stopped any social life we had for a week or two and worked hard on getting her to bed at 7pm. My husband and I would not survive without a little time to ourselves each night to catch up with each other without our daughter about.
We decided that 7pm was a reasonable time for her to go to bed and every single night we would have the same routine - dinner at 6pm, bath at 6:30 and bed at 7pm. Decide on a routine that suits you and stick with it. It is so easy to give in but makes it harder in the long run for you.
We would put her in bed at 7pm after a story with her bottle on the lounge. She would cry and we would leave her for 5 mins, go back in and settle her, let her cry for 10 mins, settle her etc adding an extra 5 mins each time. After a week we were only going in once and we continued the routine for another 2 weeks until she began to settle herself. Now all we do is pop her into her bed (we put her in a bed at 18mths and had no problems because we had the routine set), kiss her good night and close the oor behind us.
I can not emphasise the fact that it is hard work and often heart-breaking but hopefully you should get some positive benefits out of it.
Peta, NSW, mum of 2 gorgeous girls