Huggies Forum

  1. home
  2. Baby Forum
  3. Your Baby's Family
  4. Your Relationships
  5. Parents who do not want grandparents in their childs life

Parents who do not want grandparents in their childs life Lock Rss

I do not get along with my parents. I have not talked to them for many years. They did not approve of my partner, who is now my husband. We have had a strong relationship for many many years. My parents do not know about our child. We have a lovely 6 month old... I spent some money on getting legal advice..on what rights do Grandparnets have to see their granchildren even if there isn't a relationship with their own child ( me ) I was surprised to find that Grandparents can have a court order to see/have access to their Grandchildren. Anyone else in a similar situation or have had to go to court?
[Edited on 28/09/2007]
[Edited on 28/09/2007]
[Edited on 28/09/2007]
I may be of no real help as no real advice however I do know how you feel. I sometimes feel that I have to "get on" with my inlaws or they will just "claim" visitation rights anyway. The law sucks ... I did not have children for someone that doesn't respect me to have access to. I believe that a parent/child relationship should come before a grandparent/grandchild one if the grandparents cannot respect/get on with the parents. I have tried for years to have at least an amicable relationship with them and have come to the conclusion that they just don't want one with me.. yet they think that they can TELL me how to do EVERYTHING with my daughter because they love her too... as far as I am concerned if they love her then they should at least try to be civil to her parents and just accept that we do not want them to tell us how to live our lives. I have a double whammy actually because my mum and I do not really have a great relationship either... my mum would not claim visitation rights though as she is too wrapped up in her own life. My daughter sees both sides still - but you live under the constant pressure of "if I don't do what they want me to do or cause any friction then they will just make your life hell - I am wondering when my MIL will start "telling me" that she is taking my daughter to ___ event etc. mmm A bit concerned about that too because if I say "not to" do something then you could almost guarantee that she will do exactly that... these are small things (a little annoying) to just out right dangerous (scary).
As I said - I am of no real help, however, do you and your parents have the "same" circle of people that you speak to ... how easily will the info of your child get back to them?? It doesn't sound like you do hence your child being 6months (and also you being pregnant for 9!) Also, what kind of people are they?? Do you actually think that they definitely would go for visitation rights or is it just a scary prospect??

Ava1

hi
I understand your predicument my niece has cut her father out her 3 mth old daughters life but relented for the christening he was wrapped in her you could see the love in his eyes parents arent perfect I have a beautiful 17 mth old grandchild who i adore but rarely see because his mum makes it hard we did sort legal advice even tried mediation she ignored every attempt we are now entitled under the family law act to apply for visations with him at our home instead I have written to her asking to sort it out amicably if no response then we apply thro family law your parents could very well turn out to be great grandparents give them a chance and at the same time to mend a broken relationship with you but taking these things to court only achieves resentment.good luck keep in touch .

very proud nanny

hi
i would try to stop my mil and fil from seeing my dd's as they dont care and dont listen to what we have to say about our dd's and we dont have a good relationship with them either as they dont accept me and they dont appreciate their son. they always tell us that we have to do something and do it there way. i dont get who they think they are to tell us what to do, when and how. but i do think that they would try to get visitation through the court if i did stop them completely from seeing them. as i have enough trouble with them now making their own mind up and telling me that my dh has said that they can take the girls for the weekend when he hasnt even spoken to them, or they just tell me that they are taking them (i bet if they took them they wouldnt give them back)

LOL i think its complete bullshit i'm sorry. I don't think grandparents should have ANY fricking right at all. Did they make this baby? NO ... so go away if your not going to listen to parents. They've had there kids now let us have ours, grandparents try to claim so much crap its rediculous. (not personally mine) but i know of a lot that do, especially ones from a previous relationship. lol @ grandparents going to the court to get visitation rights, f off seriously, if its that bad that the parents dont want you to see the kids there has to be a decent reason (and usually there is). GRRRRRRRRRRRRrr!

( REALLY BAD MOOD TODAY!!!! )

My personal opionion on this, if you give grandparents rights you may well give rights to any Tom, Dick or Harry that tries to claim visitation of your child or any other child...........

Most parents are really happy to have grandparents in their kids lives and if decide to deny them rights I dont doubt there is a perfectly valid reason for it......

It is a basic denial of parental rights......
I know how you feel..i have two beautiful 3 week old girls.. and they see my parents regularly but we will not allow them to see my DH parents as i just don't trust them.
My DH parents don't like me, his dad said that he will never accept me in his family, his son deserves better and he wants no involvement in our family. But as soon as we have babies all of a sudden that changes according to them, they want to see their son, the babies but i just don't exist... So we don't let them come over they have seen the girls once. According to us if they can't accept me then they can't accept the girls either as i am their mother.
Gosh I really hope that my mother doesnt decide to get a court order to see our future son. Shes such a horrible woman and pretty much disowned me as soon as I said 'Im Pregnant' but shes so spiteful that I can see her doing going to court to try and get visitation rights! Ugh.
Posted by: Just*Mia
My personal opionion on this, if you give grandparents rights you may well give rights to any Tom, **** or Harry that tries to claim visitation of your child or any other child...........

Most parents are really happy to have grandparents in their kids lives and if decide to deny them rights I dont doubt there is a perfectly valid reason for it......

It is a basic denial of parental rights......


Couldn't have said it better Justy

My mother is a fruitloop who will not be having anything to do with me OR my family - not that a judge/magistrate in their right mind would award her anything though
i havent spoken to my family for 18 months and they dont know about my son. i think they are too stupid to realise there is a law. so hopefully we are safe.

If you didn't trust someone or like them for that matter would you take your children around to see them or let them take your kids?? This should be the same for grandparents or any relative for that matter. There is usually a reason. If they didn't want anything to do with you before they were born then what's going to change your mind? My parents were never supportive of my relationship or at first when i got preg but they completely turned around after that. We are over it (well I am, not dh or his family) but it should be only the PARENTS right to decide who to let see their kids.
That's my two cents. x

I don't think they should have any such "RIGHTS" UNLESS - they have been an intricate part of the childs life and due to separation / relationship breakdown and the custodial parent decides that there will be no access for no reason other than spite. Perfect example one of my friends and her husband have lived with his parents (separate house same property) for the past 6 years and prior to that these grandparents would make the 45 minute trip to see those children at least 3 to 4 times a week. When they were all living on the same property the couple use to both work full time and the grandparents use to take the kids to school everyday and would collect them every afternoon - they would then entertain the children before bathing them and giving them dinner. They would do all the activities such as home work and assignments with them as well - They were basically raising these children!!! Then he has an accident which leaves him in a disabled state and the couple separate, she takes the children and moves back to her parents and a messy court case ensues, she put an AVO on him so he could not go near her or the kids, the grandparents were shut down at every turn offered to baby sit during the trial, offered to come collect the children in the morning and afternoon and then drop them home at night when she got home from work so they would not have to go to childcare she said flat out NO! After basically raising these kids it was 16 weeks before they got to see them again and that was only because the children's other grandmother (her own mother) thought it was disgusting how they had been pushed aside and allowed them to meet for 10 minutes - during which the 2 eldest cried non-stop that they missed them so much. They are currently going through an expensive court case to see if they can be part of the kids life - they don't want much, as she (gran) said to me even if they let us see the kids for an hour after school once a month just so we can remind them we still love them sad

I think that it should be what ever is in the best interest of the children, and in the case above it is in the best interest for the grandparents to be able to be part of it all

As for grandparents that never bother with their grandchildren and never see them or have that wonderful relationship with them then SOD OFF you have no rights, a right is something you earn and they get nothing!!!

Leigha''s little men smile

Sign in to follow this topic