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Hi,

I need some advice. I have been addicted to gambling for about 5 years now, before my son was born i did something really stupid and stole from my employer to pay for my gambling the company i was working for found out and is pressing charges i have to go to court in november, the detective said that i wont be going to jail, but may get a conviciton.

My DP new nothing of my gambling as i had always lied about where i was going and told him i was with friends when really i was at the pokies, he came home from work when the dectective was here and i told him everything.

I'm 24 and he told his parents that night, i havent told my parents because i dont want to disappoint them but he keeps pressuring (sp?) me too.

He has been very supportive and got me to go to councilling about my gambling which has made me feel heaps better how can he still want to be with me, i havent played the pokies since the baby was born. The problem is i'm so stressed out with the court date coming i feel like i'm always sad even when i look at my beautiful baby boy i still wish i was dead, how could i have put pokies in front of my DP & DS? I feel like i'm pushing everyone away. I have always gotten along with my MIL but now i cant stand being near her and hearing about what she's got to say i dont even want her near my son.

I'm not sure wether to go to the doctors and get on some anti depresents to help me cheer up abit or if i'm always going to feel this way cause i feel so guilty... I keep thinking that if i leave my DP he would be better off without me. Please help........ Any advice would be great.
Forget about your pride and tell your parents like your partner they will be very supportive or should be what you have done was silly but you are chnaging that around
they will find out anyway and the fact you didn't tell them will hurt more
those who love you will remain with you and it may sound simplistic but what is done is done deal with the consequences of your actions but build the rest of your life around the joy that a loving prtner and a beautiful bouncy baby boy can bring
let the court decide your penalty and when you pay the price you are free let those who love you love you and let those who don't walk

Firstly I just want to thank you for sharing your story, it is a brave thing to do, and I'm sure it wouldn't have been easy. You are in an unpleasant situation but you are on the right road to recovery now. Attending counselling is one of the best things you can do, and any judge that hears your case will take that into consideration. They will also take into account the fact that you are admitting that you have a problem, and you are showing them you are doing something about it.
Your partner has stuck by you because he obviously loves you and cares for you. Gambling is an illness, that can be cured. I'm sure you didn't mean to get addicted to the pokies the first few times you played them. The fact that you have stayed away from them over the last few months shows that you are trying to do the right thing. Have you found it easy not playing the pokies or has it been a struggle?

I saw a very good friend of my get addicted to the pokies, and consequently lose her job in a government department. I helped her as best I could but unfortunately she has not spoken to me since the day she went to court. She was fined and given a conviction but did not receive a custodial sentence.

Her hubby also knew nothing of her addiction, and he stood by her. She was actually pregnant at the time with their first child (so similar situation to yours). She has since gone on to have 2 more children and they worked through her problem and are still together today (I know this through a mutual work friend).

Good luck with the journey that lays ahead of you, stick at the counseling and take whatever support and help you can get. I know you can come out the other end ok.

Thanks for your kind words. I'm glad i wrote my story now and i'm glad i'm not the only one out there that this has happened to, since i have had Roman i havent had the urge to play the pokies so i feel like i can beat this and get over it. I plan on telling my parents tonight, when i go to court the newspapers will probley get wind of the story and publish it anyway so i'm sure my family and friends will find out anyway, i think i would rather be the one to tell my Mum & Dad. Thanks again it felt good to get things off my chest.
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