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What's next????? Rss

Hi All,
You all know my story by now, I cheated on my b/f of 9 and 1/2 yrs, after a really rough time.
He left me on Valentine's Day after the initial anger died down we have settled a bit, we are sleeping together and doing a fair bit together family wise.. but he still living away and we both been going out and have both kissed other people.

Now......we both kinda been saying we still love each other, but.... we cant live together the way things were or are now, (we really have trouble with our bad times, we seem to both close down and withdraw) we have done nothing about past problems in our lives, including this cheating stuff,
The thing is now, the place he is staying at is coming to an end and now im being kicked out of my place, we both hit a cross road, do we get back 2gether or keep living apart?

He thinks we cant get back together because he cant trust me, but he can't think of me with anyone else, says it's really hard, Im the same I dont want him with anyone else, but we still have a lot of problems to address, but which way do we go?, we have a 7yr old and a 20month old to think about, im so confused.....

If anyone can offer some help it would be great....
We have been together since i was 15 yr old and he 18, we cant rely on either sets of our parents, we both had nasty childhoods and the nastyness continues, we really both feel so lost....
Im still seeing the councellor.. but he thinks no one can help us, he has always had trouble opening up to anyone.......

Sorry its so long but i dont know where else to turn.......
Mandy.

2 cuties 7/5/99 & 8/9/04

Hey mandy,

You know my whole position on the cheating thing from the other post, but i wont bring that all up here.
If he cant trust you, then in my opinion, a relationship, especially one involving you living together, is just doomed for failure. Relationships are built on trust. You dont want him continuosly throwing your past in your face, and im sure you dont want him to be suspicious about every move you make (like where your going, with who etc).
If he isnt willing to see a counsellor, and he is thinking no one can help you and is saying he cant be with you due to his not trusting you, it sounds to me like he is giving up on getting back with you.
My advice is to stop sleeping with him. He cant have his cake and eat it to. If he isnt willing to move on from the past and get help forgiving you, it isnt helping that he is still getting sex. If he really loves you he can try and build a relationship again, and learn to trust you. If he is just hanging around for the sex, its not worth the heartache.

The Deeks 07/08/02, Googie 23/11/04

Hi Mandy,

I don't know your story that well, but I agree with lilmiss that you probably shouldn't move in together. It sounds like things are all over the place with you guys, and moving in together because you both need to find a new place to live - well that doesn't seem like a good enough reason!

If any kind of relationship is going to work between you, friendship or otherwise, I think you need to take it really slowly, for the sake of the kids and yourselves. I really feel for you as it sounds pretty messy and confusing for you, and I also think you should stop sleeping with him - that will only make it harder for you to work out your true feelings and make good decisions about what you want.

Good luck!

This new forum is strange ...

hey there,


do you both have msn i could help you how old are you both now the only way i can help you both if is you both really want this realtionship to work and you want to keep this family together.

i have helped alot of people in troubled relationships and hopefuly i can help you two please contact me on msn plait1@hotmail.com and we can talk and try work things out


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