Long story short I am confused about what to do about my marriage.
My husband of 15 yrs (+kids) has been physically and emotional abusive in the past. He has also messed around behind my behind my back and up until recently he was a lazy selfish father and husband; limited help around the house and with kids despite us equally having fulltime stressful jobs. He also made very callous and hurtful comments about my appearance post kids plus comments about the attractiveness of other women that has left me feeling insecure and ugly.
A couple of years ago I walked out after I found out he had hooked up with someone but due to feeling absolutely sh*t scared and being pregnant at the time, I stayed. However despite that type of behaviour stopping, the drinking esculated and I did catch him talking to a random online.
Through counselling he has realised he is an alcoholic and part of his issues stem from a very troubled upbringing and he is also on the spectrum.
I have told him the relationship is over. Due to financial reasons we are still under the same roof.
I have discreetly met someone else. I think I am in love with him. He is so kind and considerate and there is such a strong connection between the two of us. I know it sounds stupid, but I feel like he is my soulmate. I imagine my life with him and he says he is madly in love with me. He is separated and has kids also.
My husband is committed to changing. He is helping out around the house and with the kids. He says he is going to stop drinking and is begging for one more chance.
I dont know what to do.