Hi everyone
I am an old member in disguise. I need some advice cos I am very lost at the moment.
About 8 years ago I cut all ties with my sister. Now I know that a lot of people say that family is family buy I believe that family is a privilege not a right. Just because you share the same dna does not mean you have to let people treat you badly etc. You don't have to agree with me but this is just how I feel. My sister has had no contact with my children.
I can't give you the full reasons why I stopped having a relationship with my sister as it's very personal but I will say that she constantly used not only myself but our parents. Their was money issues, lies and then she would turn around and act like the victim. She tried to say that she was sick of doing everything for the family when she never really lifted a finger. She just brought too much drama and it got to the point where I had to stop and think about what was best for me. I know that doesn't sound like a lot but like I said there is more details I just don't feel comfortable going into them all.
Since I made my choice I have found a great difference in myself and my life. This proves to me that I have made the right choice for me and my family.
I recently found out from my parents that my sister is pregnant (though I am not sure if she is keeping it as apparently she has had a few abortions). So I am not sure what I should do. From what my parents have said about her she seems to be the same user she was before but my parents just can't see it.
While I still believe that I made the right choice and do not want to bring in the drama she causes me into my life or my kids I don't want to exclude the baby. The baby has not done anything and it will be my children's cousin.
My sister lives 4 hours away and only visits my parents once and a while (according to my brother whenever she wants something) so it's not like I would run into her all the time or anything but when she does come down I don't know what to do.
I'd say that she will have my parents babysit now and then so I maybe we could see the baby then that way the kids could still meet their cousin. But I just can't forgive my sister especially has she still seems to be doing it to other family members (my parents and grandmother are just a few).
What would you do? Would you allow your kids to be around someone who causes you so much drama and frustration or would you try to get them to have a relationship with their cousin when she (my sister) isn't around?
I've talked to DP about this and he isn't happy with the idea of letting my sister back into our lives. He says that the change in me when I cut her out was instant and it was obvious that I was happier and in a better place.
If I really can't be around my sister I think I would still like the kids to at least communicate with each other so maybe they could write letters and photos etc.
I know some of you may think I am being silly and that I should just suck it up etc so please if that's all you have to say don't bother replying. I am looking for actually advice here.
I am an old member in disguise. I need some advice cos I am very lost at the moment.
About 8 years ago I cut all ties with my sister. Now I know that a lot of people say that family is family buy I believe that family is a privilege not a right. Just because you share the same dna does not mean you have to let people treat you badly etc. You don't have to agree with me but this is just how I feel. My sister has had no contact with my children.
I can't give you the full reasons why I stopped having a relationship with my sister as it's very personal but I will say that she constantly used not only myself but our parents. Their was money issues, lies and then she would turn around and act like the victim. She tried to say that she was sick of doing everything for the family when she never really lifted a finger. She just brought too much drama and it got to the point where I had to stop and think about what was best for me. I know that doesn't sound like a lot but like I said there is more details I just don't feel comfortable going into them all.
Since I made my choice I have found a great difference in myself and my life. This proves to me that I have made the right choice for me and my family.
I recently found out from my parents that my sister is pregnant (though I am not sure if she is keeping it as apparently she has had a few abortions). So I am not sure what I should do. From what my parents have said about her she seems to be the same user she was before but my parents just can't see it.
While I still believe that I made the right choice and do not want to bring in the drama she causes me into my life or my kids I don't want to exclude the baby. The baby has not done anything and it will be my children's cousin.
My sister lives 4 hours away and only visits my parents once and a while (according to my brother whenever she wants something) so it's not like I would run into her all the time or anything but when she does come down I don't know what to do.
I'd say that she will have my parents babysit now and then so I maybe we could see the baby then that way the kids could still meet their cousin. But I just can't forgive my sister especially has she still seems to be doing it to other family members (my parents and grandmother are just a few).
What would you do? Would you allow your kids to be around someone who causes you so much drama and frustration or would you try to get them to have a relationship with their cousin when she (my sister) isn't around?
I've talked to DP about this and he isn't happy with the idea of letting my sister back into our lives. He says that the change in me when I cut her out was instant and it was obvious that I was happier and in a better place.
If I really can't be around my sister I think I would still like the kids to at least communicate with each other so maybe they could write letters and photos etc.
I know some of you may think I am being silly and that I should just suck it up etc so please if that's all you have to say don't bother replying. I am looking for actually advice here.