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  5. Losing all my childless friends!

Losing all my childless friends! Lock Rss

Hi lovely mums!

Wonder if this has happened to you too. Since I had my daughter 7 months ago, most of my childless friends have disappeared slowly but surely from our lives. When Nina was born they all came over to have a look at her, but since then there's been a steady reduction in contact and interest.

I make as much effort as I realistically can, I ring them when I get the chance, try to organize coffees etc - but then when we do get together we often find we run out of things to say after 5 minutes! They don't seem to know what to say to me, and I know they're not particularly interested in what Nina's eating or how her crawling is going. And I'm not that interested in hearing about how drunk they got or who they went home with last weekend!

A friend who I considered myself to be pretty close to sent me a text message the other day to tell me he's engaged, and his fiancee is 5 months pregnant. And it turns out our other friends have known this for months! I think he left me out of the loop on purpose because we haven't been out with them at night despite them bugging us about it quite a few times - we're not prepared to screw up Nina's routine and then pay for it bigtime, just to suit other people (when they actually have the ability to be a lot more flexible!).

I end up feeling guilty, feeling like I should be making more of an effort, but then on the other hand I feel like it's not fair for childless people to guilt-trip us parents for not living up to their unrealistic expectations!

I have a couple of friends who have kids, but I feel I'm losing a lot of other friendships, some with people I've been close to for years. I think it's a real shame!

Is it just a matter of waiting for them to have kids themselves so we'll have something in common again? Or do I need to make a serious effort to be less boring?

Thanks for reading my whinge, I'd love to hear about your experiences. smile

This new forum is strange ...

not much advice from me. but i know when i was childless listening to friends with kids talking about toilet training etc was boring for me. thats just how it goes. life moves on & sadly friendships come & go. if you want to keep in contact perhaps its better to ask the friends to come to your place for lunch/dinner etc its easier for you to be at home , keeping your child in her routine and if they dont understand then so be it. one day they will be running to you for advice. make the most of your frienships with others in the same situation

mum of 3 boys aged 11, 13 and 14

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