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Frustrating Sister In Law Lock Rss

Hey all..

I need to get your perspective on this..

I feel like my SIL copies everything we do!

When they got married they held their wedding and reception at the same place as us, she even went as far as wanting my photographer and celebrant too (they were already booked out though).

At the reception they copied a few things we did also and almost had the same bridal waltz ( I mentioned something prior about this being the same as ours so she didnt have it)

I announced I was pregnant and 7 weeks later so did she.

We had bubs 10 weeks apart and I feel like she constantly compares the 2 babies and always says they look alike (which I cant see).

She now goes to the same CHN as me and makes reference to us.

When my bub was 5 weeks old we had photos done and she commented on how good they were, I have since found out that she has got a photographer friend to do the same poses and try to copy the ones I got done.

She has suggested that we have a joint naming day and then added that she has the ceremony picked out already!

I dont want this as my bub is not living in anyones shadow and we will do our christening our way when we want.

I am getting annoyed at all this and feel like I cant vent it to anyone other than hubby.

What can I do or say??

I just feel like everything I do or say is noted and sometimes copied although we have very different tastes and beliefs.

Am I being ridiculous? We do I let it bother me...
I don't think you are being ridiculous at all. The sad thing is she may not even intentionally be doing this. It must be very frustrating for you as you probably feel as though you can't do anything without her coping it.

Have you told your CHN that although she can't stop your SIL making reference to you and your bub you would prefer her not to say anything back. As far as I am concerned they ar like Doctors and should not refer to other people under there care. Your CHN may have seen this situation before and be able to give you advice.

With the naming day I think you are perfectly entitled to have your own day - as is her child. Are you releigious? If so you may be able to get around it by saying you want a church service and you now she wants a civil service.

I have had a few SIL dramas (not quite the same but to do with Lachlan's christening). Mum advised me to tel her that it is a strong family tradition on my side to do it the way DH and I wanted to do it so she wasn't able to say anything. Its hard when you really want to say mind your own business but they are family and will always be in your life so sometimes it is best just to be the gracious and tactful one.

Here's hoping you don't make any major purchases before her otherwise you might end up with the same couch or dinner table!! smile

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[Edited on 16/04/2007]
Hi There
I wouldn't think you are being ridiculous. I have that same thought about my own SIL (and I can't figure out why I let it bother me so much either).
I don't so much have the 'copying' issues, but others. My SIL seems to be convinced that my son is the worst behaved kid in the world (which is so IS NOT). Lately every time I see her she makes some comment on him being naughty (and insinuating that I am a crappy parent) and it is really driving me NUTS. Worst thing though, her parents (MIL & FIL) believe everything she says and basically treat her like a princess, so I am guessing they probably think the same way now. I am currently trying to subtly avoid them all now as much as possible (they all live within 15 minutes drive from our house - ggrrrrr). Fairly easy as they never get off their collective butts to visit us, it always has to be us visiting them, so just by not visiting, I don't have to deal with them. Only thing is, I feel a little guilty that my son does not get to spend much time with his paternal grandparents, aunt or cousins. I feel like he is being deprived of those relationships, but really am sick of dealing with their crap and baggage. Am I bad?

James' Mum

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