my situation

Hi there all you mummies,
I just wanted to have a chat about my situation. I am a SAHM of one and one on the way, anyways i have recently moved to Victoria to be with the man of my dreams and i dont know anyone here. I have been here 3 weeks and the only place i go is to safeway. I dont drive so its hard for me to get out. I miss my family and friends a great deal, i am getting sick of contacting them when they dont make the effort to contact me. Its sad to think that when you leave you are forgotton.
My relationship with my partner is ok. Sometimes we dont talk at all and i think i am just here for sex and to do the housework. I have no idea how to talk to him about this. He works long hours and all i do is sit at home and be bored. He is really into his job as its something he really loves doing. I really do believe that house work is my best friend at the moment.
I really hate feeling like this but its hard not to sometimes i think. Being pregnant with number 2 i am feeling really emotional during the day and eating not much at all am just really worried about everything. I am not good with communication at all.
Can anyone help me cheer up or give me ideas on how to talk to my boyfriend about this. We have only been together for 4 months and i dont want to leave him as i love him so much and i want to spend the rest of my life with him

Hi Sammiree,

I am so sorry you are feeling down. It must be very hard to move to a new state, away from your support network, and feel so isolated. My initaial reaction is that you need to find away to feel part of the world again. Sometimes the things that we feel may 'trap' us (for want of a better phrase) can be the same things that help us get out there again. I know yu don't drive but I think it would be worth contacting Playgroups Vic to ask where your closest playgroup meets. You might find it is within waking distance. Having our children in common is often a good way to break the ice and meet new people. If Playgroup is too far away your local church may run a playgroup program. You don't have to be overly religious to join them. I think if you can build up your own new support network you will start to feel much better and if you feel better about yourself otehr things will fall into place too. (Other ideas for meeting new friends - Gymbaroo, Musical Mystreos, Toddler time at the local library). Maybe ask your Materanl and Child Health Nurse for assistance?

Hi There
So very sorry you are having a hard time of it. I can't really relate (I haven't moved across country), but I know when my cousin (who I get along famously with) moved from Sydney to Melbourne, with her boyfriend at the time (she broke up with him eventually, dated a few others and is now married and still living in Melbourne), she joined Leos (Lions Club for under 30's) and Rotaract (Rotary Club for under 30's) and made friends that way. I don't know if that is something you can do (would probably be hard if you've got kids and your partner works long hours). But the suggestion of joining a playgroup was a good one.
Maybe try the communities section of this website to see if there is anyone on here that lives in your area. Do you play any sports? I know a church just around the corner from me conducts craft classes once a week (and offer babysitting for while you are there). Check your local papers for things like that maybe.
As for communicating with your partner, I know it can be scary sometimes when you want/need to discuss something you feel is important, but maybe just pick a time when you have few interruptions, partner is in a calm mood and you are in a calm mood and talk calmly with lots of 'I feel' type statements. My dad had/has a really bad temper and my mum had to take this track with him on many occasions to get through to him with her feelings and other important stuff.
Good Luck with everything!

hunny if you want to e-mail me to talk


[email protected]

i know how hard it is
get out of the house every day for a walk,its very good at keeping depression away before it sets in

i live in a small town called Maryborough(don't suppose you near there)
and none of my best friends have babies its hard please email me if your ever feeling down
xxx

I always find it better to write down how I'm feeling otherwise it all seems to come out wrong when I try to talk about it. I end up crying and not making sense.

Is her around on the weekend for you to take a break or to go out and do something nice together?

Contact your local playgroup and join up. It can sometimes be uncomfortable meeting peolple for the first couple of times and then you find out that there are more things that you have in common.

I hope you start to feel better, and of course you now have some new friends on the Huggies forum.