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Calling all woman whose partners left them then came back Lock Rss

Hi!

My partner left me almost 4 weeks ago and we have an 8 month old son. He left with no warning. Just told me he was going. He has since told me that he wasnt sure if he wanted to be in this relationship forever and was thinking of leaving for a couple of months. Nothing changed to indicate he was feeling this way. We still had brekkie together every morning, being in bed together wasnt an issue, he never mentioned or indicated anything was wrong. I am wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation and if so did they return eventually. How long did it take and what was said/done to convince them that it is worth giving it a go?

Thanks

Nic
My partner did this wen I was 6 weeks off having our 2nd and 3rd child (twins) I had them alone and raised them to 3 months with him only eva seeing them wen they were 3 days old and then yeah but he left me 4 another girl only I didn't know that till he'd been gone a month but yeah he said he had been thinking of it 4 awhile I had seen no signs as far as I was concerned things were the best they'd been in sooooo long but yeah one nite he came home said to order pizza he was going 2 play golf with his brother came home lata, got his stuff said he was sorry and left. I know it's so hard but he realised that me and his kids is wot he really wanted I think it scares them being tied down I dunno, that's wot I felt though.
I did try really hard 4 so long 2 get him 2 come back but it was wen I stopped trying and told him I was going 2 start seeing another guy that it really hit him in the head and he woke up and realised it was us that he wanted.
I hope this has helped a little

Holly

Hi Nic.

Reading your post just now brought back painful memories. Believe me I know what you're going through.
This happened to me when DS was 3 months old.(now 8 months) My partner and I had had issues for a while but suddenly he just up and left. Told me he needed to be alone. I cried my eyes out for my son and for myself. I tried convincing, logical thinking (men love that) I even moved house and invited him to live with us for a fresh start.
a month later he came back, but it seemed like he was reluctant to. Things were ok until one night he told me he'd been with another woman since we ended. i couldnt deal with it and he left a second time.
This time I didnt care so much, I wanted him gone. I started to move on and he saw that. The only sadness I felt from that point on was for our son.

A few weeks later we did re-unite (long story short) as he saw what he was missing. I saw, for the first time in a long time, that he was sincere.
We have now been living happily together (well, mostly) for about 4 months.. we got out our demons and had time apart..
forgiving is very hard, but forgetting is impossible.
I had to learn and have faith.

I've also learnt that some men are not talkers and if something is wrong they retreat into a cave and not talk. In fact some of them completely shut down.

Nic, I know that this is just my story and it will differ from yours but I have to say something quite cliche, please forgive me.
"if you love someone set them free. if they come back, they are yours. if they dont, it isnt meant to be"

I think my convincing Kane to come back somewhat put him off. I mean, I wasnt helping him to sort his head out. Men need their time.

I hate to ask this, but do you think there might be a third party involved? Have you had regular contact with him since he left? What does he say if/when you talk about getting back together?

I think the best advice I can give you Nic (and i hope I dont offend you) is to give him his space. If he comes to his senses that's excellent for you and your lil boy. But if he doesnt return, hun I promise you there are greener pastures. I know its hard to see that but everything will work out. You may not like the outcome at first but we dont always get everything we'd like. And we adapt.

I hope what I have said has helped you, even just a little. I hope you and your lil one are doing ok.

*hugs*
Leonie
My boyfriend of 9 months dropped a bomb on me when he said he loved me to death but didn't want to parent another child (my child) and wished me luck and left me 2 months ago. Two days prior to that we were talking about our future together. That was tough to understand and to make sense out of it. I tried for 3 weeks and found out from his FB that one of the girl he had in his friends list claimed to be in a relationship with him on FB. I was hurt bad. I was hurting but he was going out and having fun doing the same thing he did with me but now with her. They work together, she has no kids and makes almost twice of what I make. Would I think he will come back to me? Probably, no. Will they be together probably not either. I still can't get him out of my mind and hurt so bad. Men can be cruel and they just think they can just replace us with a better person.
I’m sorry you’ve gone through this. My partner of a year being with me left me a week that I was overdue to have our baby. Our baby wasn’t planned his family weren’t happy about it. One my due date He told me with issues I’ve had with his family arguments we had he felt like he didn’t want to be a dad, wasn’t sure what he wanted and still had things to do in life. I made a decision to tell him to go because every time I asked him are you staying with us for good he said he doesn’t know he might come and go. I couldn’t risk that for my son, so I told him to leave. That week was horrible as I tried my hardest to help and support him more than I do. I read he’s out to his family to help him and tell him it’s ok to be scared he ended up packing his things away bad leaving me in hysterics and tears. I was placed in hospital for having that breakdown to monitor the baby. When he was taking his things he left me on the floor in tears like I was nothing and walked over me like trash.

The day my son was born my mum called him and said if you want to be there you can and he came but missed out on the birth. During the hopsital stay he was still inning and airing over being there for us. His family cane to see us and he then decided to stay. I asked him is this because of his family he said no I want to stay but it is a little bit of them. Today we still have issues with his sisters which I don’t like and I’ve explained to him that give me time to heal after what I’ve been through but he’s pressuring me to do things. I hope things do turn around but I don’t see this hoalleinf. All I can say is that I can never forgive my partner dor leaving me and showing his true colours to me.im just trying to see if he’ll be there for my son nd if not I’m more than capable of being a dad and mum.


Some men are lovely and kind and caring and I hope that this Happens to me, others only do what they want and expect us to open the doors with arms wide open. I hope your situation has a happy outcome. I’m not sure if mine is happy like I want it to be. All the best.
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