Pregnant at the same time as another family member?

Hi

I am due in June, but with my first pregnancy, my sister in law was pregnant at the same time I was. I was 9 weeks ahead of her. To this day I think it was planned, her pregnancy anyway. She wonted the same attention as I was going to get. Throughout the pregnancy we had people comparing us, oh she is bigger then you etc and it got really annoying, I just wonted to go through my prenancy without being compared to my sister in law. My son is now 2 and still being compared to his cousin who is 9 weeks younger. Things like, he is talking more then your little one, he is toilet trained before your one, and she always rang me whenever her little one did something, just to rub it in. I have learnt to ignore it, but it is annoying. In a way it is nice having the two boys close in age cause they can play with each other, but to compare isn't the nice thing. With the 2nd pregnancy I didn't tell her that we were planning on a 2nd, with the thought she would fall pregnant, she hasn't but is always talking about falling pregnant whether her partner likes it or not. I am just glad I have gone through this pregnancy without being compared to her.

Heather

Hi Brooke
congratz on your son

how have you been with your kidneys and stuff?

are you back to normal?

i had a kidney infection when i was 2. although i cant remember it i still have to be careful.

I'm not married but my partner's brother's wife just had a baby - I'm a few months behind her.

My problem is slightly different. My partner's sister keeps going on about how "Baby X" is so lucky to have two wonderful aunty's (referring to herself and the baby's mother's sister). I'm guessing that cause I'm not married into the family I don't count.

My partner and I feel we've made a much bigger commitment to each other by starting a family.

I'm feeling very left out and sad. Their family is really close-knit and my mum lives at the other end of the country and my only sister overseas.

I really feel like making a point that my sister will be my baby's 'only aunty' but I'm not that petty and can't do it. Not sure what the solution is.

Thank god the comparisons haven't started yet but I'm sure they will. She had her baby in the morning after a short labour and was home around 3hrs later! There is no way I'll be doing that!

Hi Tarns
first of all she sounds like a crazy woman.
home after 3hrs? what was she thinking smile

ihave never felt part of my boyfriends family and we have been toghter for 10 years.

since ive actually given birth to one of THEIR blood relatives i am beig treated so differently. i feel more included in things, even just in general conversations.
one thing i did say to them was that it doesnt take a piece of paper to make me family. just because we r not related by blood doesnt mean squat.
if that were the case what about adopted kids????
but on the other hand there ar e2 different types of auntys
family aunty's and friend aunty's
but in your case u r family.
next time they say it say" and i'm the best looking one" something that keeps you the same but different. (if you know what i mean??)
or when u talk to the baby say "hi i'm your aunty Tarns" smile

To Brooke.

I was pregnent at the same time as my sister. There is just a little over 4 months in between our girls. The problem was with this was my sister's husband had not long gone into remission from hodgkins ( same as delta goodrem's cancer) therefore they used IVF to conceive their little girl. So my mother thought that because my baby was a "mistake" or so she thinks and theirs was ivf, theirs is the special one. So it wasn't my sister that was the problem in a sense it was my mother saying all these horrible things to me about how silly I was at 21 to get pregnant and that I should have known better especially after I'd had a miscarriage already, ( thought she'd wake up to fact that our bub wasn't a mistake after a miscarriage!) She is careful though to not say any of this in front of my sister, her husband or my partner. My baby wasn't as 'special' and as 'loved' as my sisters, to this day I still think she thinks that. Our daughter is just as special and loved as anyother baby surely she knows that after having four kids and two miscarriages herself!
It was and still proves to be an interesting situation we find ourselves in!

Hi Brooke,

I had a similar situation - but a positive one. As it turned out I went thru my pregnancy alongside a great friend of mine. I had Harry 8 days before she had her little guy. This experience actually bought us closer in our friendship & today our little men are the pride of our lives & good little mates also. We often get compared by others with the milestones of the boys, but they are indiviuals & we both know will do what they will in their own time =)
Good luck with it all .

With my first pregnancy my aunt was due the day after me, and with my second my sil was due 5wks after me, and a friend a week after. Definitely sucks as you can't tell anyone anything without them bringing another person up, you just want to say 'give me the attention dammit!' Also with my second i had twins, my sil was having her fourth but she got way more attention, presents and everything. But I wouldn't have noticed if it wasn't at the same time as my pregnancy.
This pregnancy is the first where i've been the only one, but it's my fourth baby so no-one cares, it's just like 'oh yeah, she's always pregnant, yawn!'
There's also always a lot of comparison, especially between the older two as there's only 2 days between them, i'm just lucky that mine are the first to do everything so far!

Hi Brooke, I fell pregnant and it was a shock but everyone was really happy (except my daughters father but thats a long story) My little gem was due boxing day any way it was wonderful i was so happy i already had a little neice than a few weeks later my sister in law found out she was pregnant and was due end of jan i did feel great at first thinking yay someone else to do it with me then you get the comparing and it was my first and i was by then living back with mum and dad and she already had a little girl. we were just constantly compared. Well in the end my due date was 10th jan and hers 29th i went into hosp to be induced 5th jan and had my daughter 6th jan my sister in law went in the same day the 5th because her waters broke earlier my neice was born 4 days after my daughter and are constantly being compared. because my neice was born early she was slower doing things where my daughter not being biased but her paed has told us she is queit advanced. its hard when they are the same age. my sis had her first this week and is another girl and i wish i was her having her baby on her own no comparisons. sorry its so long.

I know how you feel Brooke.. I was 9 months pregnant amd going to be giving birth in like a week when my sister announced that she was pregnant. we have had the same issues with the comparing etc and i am also worried it will continue through their lives as the are cousins and there is only 7 months between them. i don't know what there is that can be done to stop it... my family already compares them it is really hard...

My sister and i were pregnant with our first sons at the same time we were only 4 weeks apart. The boys get on like a house on fire now, but when we were expecting my sister would not talk about anything to do with being pregnant. Her and her fiance hadn't exactly planned it and because she was 4 weeks ahead of me i used to ask her questions and she never wanted to talk, but once the boys were born it all changed. I just had my daughter in November and now my sister is pregnant agian and due in june, i don't think the second kids will b compared as much as the first are especially now the boys are getting bigger. she has actually been asking me things this time so its great to share that with her.

see-ya nic

My husband's cousin (more like a sister) and I were pregnant at the same time, and it was shocking. We were always compared to one another, and she always made me feel like poop. Then when we had the kids she's always going on about how overwight my child is compared to hers and all of that, when in actual fact her son is larger than mine!! She knows that my husband and I have been ttc for a while now, and guess what, now she's pregnant. She rings 3 or 4 times a day to tell me how she is feeling and that she wants this baby name and that (even though I told her I wanted one of them cos its a family name). She is really starting to brag about it and rub the fact in that she's pregnant after not trying and I'm not even though we have been trying. It's really upsetting me. But its so nice to know that I'm not the only one this is happening to!