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My 19 Month Old Won't Go To Sleep On His Own Lock Rss

My little cherub started sleeping through at 6 weeks of age & was fabulous at sleeping through anything. Then he got sick and wouldn't go to sleep unless he was with myself or my husband - (never both of us as I was too paranoid about thinking that he was my husband and possibly pushing him out of bed.) Ever since then he won't go to sleep if we are at our home or some one else's unless we lay down with him or are holding him. When he wakes up after 1 1/2 hours during his day sleep, he cries if we are not there, or if we are & he sees us he will go back to sleep. Other than sitting by his side or putting a picture next to him what can I do to let him know that he's ok on his own?

CJ, SJ 3/03, AJ 11/05, PJ 4/08


The reason he wakes so often is because when he wakes on his light sleep (as we all do) and you were with him when he went to sleep, he looks for you, you are not there and cannot resettle without you. If you were to say read some stories with him and insist on saying good night before he falls asleep, then when he woke on his light sleep he wouldn’t get a fright and need your presence to resettle. Understanding this makes it all that bit easier to know why we need to go through a few tough nights of insisting they go to sleep on their own.

The problem is that just reading a few stories and saying good night just isn’t what these ‘bubs of habit’ want, so in order to get them sleeping independently we sometimes need to resort to some controlled comforting techniques. Take a look at <a href="">Your Baby’s Sleep</a> section or get a copy of <a href="It's time to sleep</a"">It's Time To Sleep</a> DVD&Book. They will take you step by step through the program. You can use the 6 to 12 month techniques if your son is still in a cot.

Best of luck, Maree

It's Time to Sleep

Hi Maree!

I am please to let you know that we have just put our little boy into a "big bed". I was so worried that he would get up and that he wouldn't go to sleep that I was a little hesitant in doing so. A few weeks before his 2nd birthday I started to tell him that he could lay on the lounge with me for 10 minutes & if he didin't go to sleep then he had to go to bed and fall asleep on his own. Very rarely did he actually just go to sleep so I would take him to his cot & stand him up in there asking for a big cuddle (over the side of the cot). While cuddling I asked him if he was tired - yes, did he want to have a sleep - yes/no; was he going to be a good boy and not cry - yes; then I would lay hium down & ask him to cuddle his pooh bear & tigger for me because they needed help going to sleep. I also asked if he wanted the light on or off but would tell him it was sleep time & we needed it to be dark to go to sleep. I gave him a kiss & said goodnight. It worked everytime!!! This gave me the cofidence to try the big bed knowing that if it didn't work I could always put him into the cot again. We made it all very exciting for him with a brand new Nemo quilt cover (he now calls it his Nemo bed). Before putting him in bed I gave him his 10 minutes with me & then took him & went through the same routine as when he was in the cot. He was asleep within 10minutes, stayed in bed all night, & when he woke up in the morning just called out "mummy!" & I went in to a smiling little boy sitting up in his new bed. I've had no drama about putting him to bed on his own at all since, he's fantastic!

Only one question, since daylight savings he wakes up an hour earlier regardless of whether he goes to bed early or late, my husband does afternoon shift & it would be a big help if he would sleep a little longer. What can we do?

Thank you so much for your advice and the help I got from It's Time To Sleep was great. I apply the "be prepared to do it 100 times" adivce to everything and it's definately been a big help.

Thanks again! CJ

CJ, SJ 3/03, AJ 11/05, PJ 4/08

Hi CJ,

I’m so pleased things are going well for you.

With the changing of the clocks only one week ago you might find that in another week or so his body clock will automatically readjust again. I believe that we are all a bit out of whack for at least one week with daylight saving. I think it’s best just to stick with the regular routine bed times for now.

Cheers Maree

It's Time to Sleep

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